I'm feeling sad and being left out

Hmm..at first I'm really excited coz I managed to numerically prove that my solution with this new model is the same as the old model with certain fixed parameter. But suddenly when I tried different parameter, it didn't seems correct physically or in real life state. When I show this result to my supervisor, he didn't remember what I'm doing that I have to explain all over again to him. Then, he also seems dunno what's wrong and asked me to check my calculation coding...pelik!!! kalau dah buktikan guna parameter tertentu, dapat result yang sama mcm dulu...takkan silap coding..adus....

The most saddest part was he seems that he didn't interested with what I'm doin and while I'm still in his room he turned his attention to my friend who came later than me. Tau la..budak tu dah habis belajar, banyak produce paper n datang pun pasal nak diskus pasal his paper..tapi janganlah dibiarkan I yang baru lagi ni....rasa dipinggirkan. Mau aku nyanyi lagu sekadar di pinggiran ni, tapi tak ingat lak lirik nye..melodi pun tak hingat dah huhu... Pelik jugak, pakcik ni dulu tak camtu. Dulu hari2 datang jenguk bilik aku..tapi la ni..jarang sangat...sebulan sekali pun payah kalau bukan aku yg jenguk dia. What is happening....

Nak balik tadi jumpa minah thai yg brilliant ni, datang semula ke oz ni nak buat research je, dia dah dapat pun phd. Yang tak best nyer, dia kata nak apply tinggal di penginapan universiti sama cam aku. Alamak, harap2 dia tak jadi apply atau tak dapat. Buatnye tinggal serumah, mau aku hidup terkonkong...kotnye dia jadi spy supervisor aku. Lemas ku...rimas ku.

Balik tadi jumpa Mr R, mamat filipino...Hah sudah tergagap-gagap aku nak jawab, bila dia tanya aku ni muslim awat tak pakai tudung. Bila aku kata tak ready wpun harap one day god will open my heart to wear it, dia boleh tanya kenapa tak ready...hah sudah. aku cakap depends on people, deep inside my heart mmg nak pakai..cuma takut tak pakai sungguh2..kejap buka kejap tutup. Pulak tu dia tanya kenapa kena pakai tudunglah. Kalau nak lelaki bukan Islam nak kawin dgn kita kena convert ke..mestila. Aku rasa mamat ni dari dulu suka kat aku..tu yang dia tanya soalan ni..chet banyak perasan la ko. KOt2 dia saja nak tanya...bukan pasal minat ke, nak kawin dengan ko ke... Lagi apa yek..ha dia tanya pasal poligami. Bila dia tanya apa festival muslim november ni..puas aku memikir. Malu pun ada...ha baru teringat Eid Adha...bila dia tanya untuk apa..tergagap lagi aku nak jawab..pasal pengorbanan..Susah na nak ingat english word nya. Nasib baik gak aku cakap pasal sacrification nabi ibrahim...Nasib baik betul coz dia kata nak cari di internet. Yang bahaya nyer dia ni Katolik, mestilah skeptical..in fact pada agamanya sendiri. Dia boleh kata agama tu dah mcm ritual lak. in fact dia rasa sometimes moral lagi ok dari beragama coz ada yg religious, tp buat jahat gak... ada yg baik wpun tak percaya agama...Tapi dia kata bila dia tak pi Sunday mass macam bersalah lak...Tu yg dia kata dia pun confuse. Aku pun mula cucuk jarum, tanya dia baca bible tak. Then aku cakap aku baca Quran, boleh tenangkan hati etc. Sembahyang pun selain dari kewajipan kita, pergerakannya pun baik untuk kesihatan. Tu la, kalau la aku ni banyak pengetahuan agama, insya-allah aku boleh tarik dia sikit2 ke arah Islam. Lepas ni aku memang kena mendalami Islam untuk memudahkan berdiskusi dgn org bukan Islam n secara tak lansung menceritakan kecantikan Islam yg membuatkan mereka tertarik dgn agama kita ni...Insya allah.

Balik tadi, aku pun terus membuka my fav blog. Oh no..Salam Dua Benua, bakal sibuk..tak best la. Wah rupanya kakak Tertunailah Hasrat Di hati, menyambung ulangtahun blognya...tahniah kak. Baru setahun rupanya...ingatkan dah lama, tambahan bila tengok follower, counter pengunjung n keakraban dengan kawan2 blog. Teruskan berblogging kak

Mood and sambal tempe ku

Ntah apa2 je my title nun di atas. Lately ni tak tau la nape. Takde mood nak buat keja kat opis, ngantuk bosan n asyik lapar je. Bila rasa bersalah, dah petang baru pulun buat keja..tu yang kena balik lambat. cheh konon rajin la tu sampai umah 7 lebih..tapi org tak tau produktiviti ku teramatlah kurangnyer...Dahla pi opis lambat. Yang kelakarnya masa tunggu bas pagi tadi, adalah sorang Indian guy yang peramah ni..borak punya borak, he asked my age coz he said that I'm so young to be postgrad student. kalu dia tau umur aku maunye terkejut beruk...tak sesuai ...Anyway, no matter how funny it was, it makes me smile and ala2 on cloud nine for few minutes on the bus..Kalau org nampak aku sengih2 sensorang..kang diingat nyer another crazy lady...

Bila balik dah senja tu...teringin nak makan sambal tempe, so dengan gigihnya aku menggoreng tempe/kacang/ikan bilis...nearly 1 hour baru solosai...Den raso sodap bona sambal tempe tu...wpun first time membuek eh. Di makan lak ngan pajeri noneh ku yg dah tigo aritu...umang ai licin, sib baik tak jilat pinggan.Konon rancang nak study...sesudah e pi tengok tv n borak2..sodar2 dah 11.45. Pulak tu bukan nak tido awal..sibuk nengok internet pasal si Dr. Asri tu. Buek malu yo...malu nengok org agamo gaduh2, sesuko hati tuduh org/tangkap orang. Malu ngan agamo lain..agak e..bertopuk tangan dio tengok ulama kito berpocah. banyak bondo ponting lain nak dipikirkan cam kes org buek maksiat, kes murtad n camno nak tarik org masuk Islam daripada melarang orang nyampaikan ilmu agamo ni. Mudah mudahan akan ado jalan penyelesaian...Kalau berbeza pendapat takpo, yang ponting e..bermuzakarah la domi kopontingan umat Islam bukan utk pihak totontu yo.

Then, melompat ke several of my fav blog. Antaranya http://tertunailahhasratdihati.blogspot.com/ yg memang aku ikut setiap hari, wpun tak register jadi follower. Seronok je nengok kakak tu dapat hp blackberry free...boto la tu kak oi...sapo kato berblog ni tak berfaedah..he..he untung apo..ribu2 lak tu. Tahniah la kak oi..murah rezeki akak.

after a month....

Isn't funny..at first I'm so excited to the blogging world, cheh ..hangat2 tahi ayam je. After 2 post I just stop...and suddenly today here I am again. What a day today, dahlah bangun lambat, then kalut nak pi open house. Yummy dapeklah den makan rondang ayam, masak lomak udang n lomang..kuih popia simpul pun ado. Melantak bagai nak rak, ingatkan tak mau dinner, tapi terdinner gak. What's for dinner? Dont laugh, lebih kuah ikan talapia masak lomak menjadi masak lomak telur+sawi...yelah daripada den membazir...he..he..kata-kata orang yg tersangatlah rajinnya. Got to go...nak jenguk baju kat bawah tu dah siap dicuci kot and got to stop coz I need to start and finish my writing tonite....Tulah tadi tak sedar diri asyik nunggu mood yang tak kunjung tiba. Sibuk baca blog orang lain. Who says that blogging just waste your time..from it people making friends-share their thoughts/knowledge/hobbies/recipes;making bussiness...macam2 ada. Today while I was hoping from one blog to another blog.. I'm really impressed with those who came out with idea to form "kutu heksagon"...wow..see how internet change our life.

Bosannya

I just don't know why...I'm so bored today eventhough I got so many things to do. Serba tak kena pun ya juga...mcm takde semangat pun ada. Tu yang tetiba nak ber'blogging'. Anyway, while waiting for the bus to school today, I managed to snap really nice view at the bus stop. I'll upload it later

My first entry on 09.09.09

09.09.09...19 Ramadhan ...what a beautiful date and day to start my blogging. Suddenly I just don't know what to type here. Of course it's really exciting reading other people blogs..about their life, family, hobby, interest etc. But, when you are the one who have to write your own blog post..hmm kind of blur. What is the reason I start to blog ? Well, becoz of 'kek lapis'. Funny isn't it what is the connection. Well, this past few weeks I craving for this layered cake and definitely I have to surf the internet looking for the recipe. So, I end up surfing from one blog to another blog looking for the simplest recipe as possible. Since then I'm quite addicted to read people's blog and hook up for certain really nice blog, not only because of their cooking but also how they live their life. So, here I am..........with my new world of blogging.

After two days 'ponteng sekolah'(not really...buat kerja kat rumah lah), I went to school quite early today. I waited for 8.40 am bus ...well it seems the earliest time to school during this fasting month. What a record !!! Back to school, mulalah keserabutan melanda. Suddenly I got confuse with the constant value that I should use. Different literature with different value. So, I went to see one of the lecturer. He was really helpful. So, I used ME to evaluate the constant and convert it to suitable unit. Then, my sv asked me about the abstract..he asked me to explain the symbol used in the equation. Alhamdulillah, after this correction he satisfy with my abstract and in fact he said "It's now really good". He..he...previously he said "I THINK it's good but...". Can you spot the difference he..he.

So, engrossed with my work...ye ke..I decided to get back at 4.30. I'm waiting and waiting for the bus, it's only showed up 35 minutes later. I was freezing..eventhough it's already spring but it's still cold and combining with the strong wind it made me shivering while hugging my napsack. Once back at home it's already 5.25pm. What a record I managed to cook asam pedas in 15 minutes time..just 4 min b4 break my fasting. Alhamdulillah.....