Wednesday, August 3, 2022

MYR21k in 2 months 😱

Due to an issue with my account at Bank xyz
I was in panic mode yesterday
Not again...
With the same bank?
But different scenario

What have I done?
Is that what is left?
How am I going to survive this month?
And to think about the balance in Bank abc
And with so many bills to pay
My parents portion
The allocation for out station work
The second payment for my house repair
This totally lead me to high panic mode

That is the second issue
The third issue is where did my loan settlement in Bank abc gone?
The same goes to the Etiqa periodical payment?
Like gone in a split second????

So today
I traced out all my spending since end of may
Just by checking all my transactions for Bank abc
Seriously I spent nearly MYR21,000 from end of May till yesterday, second august 
😰😱😱😱🤦‍♀️

What did I buy/pay???
Long list...


But all spending is a must
Such as for house, car and medical expenses
Except the jewellery 😅
And the MYR837 for clothes
Really pricey attire but easy and comfy to wear

The lesson here...
Jangan kelabu mata bila nampak duit lebih sikit
As a result over spending 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Jangan buat lagi !!!!





Sunday, July 10, 2022

Pengubat Hati Di Aidil Adha

Eid mubarak...
Alhamdulillah diberi kesempatan untuk menyambut Hari Raya Aidil Adha
So my mum cooked chicken curry
My sister ordered 1.2kg beef rendang +peanut sauce
And I bought ketupat palas+beef floss

Even though my initial plan not to balik kampung
Due to piles of works
But family is no 1
However as expected kinda boring day
Without the kids 

I came back home early to meet the kids
Before they left
Sempatlah pi beli corn dog Family mart
Lepak di Tealive menikmati smoothies
Dan pi playground



My friday kinda gone wasted
Plan to focus on checking the document
But only check 1/5 of it
And the rest more to sleeping if not focusing on my mobile phone 🤦‍♀️

On saturday morning
I went to buy brekky
Hmm...nasi lemak 3 -RM6
Sambal kerang utk 2 org makan-RM8
Rendang daging "- RM10
Quite pricey...
But bayau je la

Then I cleaned our living room+second family area
Jenuh...pi bersihkan tahi cicak
Sapu dan mop
So tengahari tu keletihan

Around 3pm I went to Aeon
I had churros and nachos for afternoon tea break



I bought these



And these



As a heart broken healer...

I just realised my precious CK missing as I wanna sleep on 5th of July
At first I just calm
I just thot that I dropped it somewhere in my home
I tried to search it 
And cleared a lil bit of my messy family area

The next day ...
I searched everywhere thoroughly in my home
Either upstairs or downstairs
Even in the bathroom
Either in the Piles of dirty laundry,
in the washing net
Or unfolded cleaned clothes

As far as I remembered 
I did the handwashing on sunday and monday nite
I had stomache on tuesday dawn 
Due to that I had to go to the toilet several times
So I checked
The water holes at my bathroom
I had difficulty to lift the main hole slab
But after a few attempts I managed to do so
However I really afraid to lift the metal cover
Because it kinda rusty n macam reput
Moreover I am afraid in case there is any reptiles or any living things in the dark main hole
In addition definitely it really gross to see my own sewages if they are still there 😅

Strange..that main hole cover suppose to be
Heavy steel and ada cangkuk
But this one seems like aluminium nipis dan tiada cangkuk...
Hmm...did the previous renovation contractor took and sold it?

I went everywhere
**at the cafe that I went on tuesday
Look thoroughly at the parking lot and
Asked the cafe staff
**At my unit office
**At my own office
**at the department office
**at my office parking lot
**at the cafe that I went on monday
**at the herbs shop
**at the stationery shop

I made many phone call 
**security
**second cafe management office
**my colleagues
I even sent whatsapp to the restaurant in town that I went on monday evening

But no one found it...
This really made me upset 😭😭😭
My colleague said who wanna return the gold item?
The only place that I did not go is JnT
Coz I was rushing to go back to my home town
To avoid traffic jam
I went there on friday the week before
But I wonder why they did not pick up the call

The most regretful ...
I knew it has the loose clip
But still wore it
Moreover this was the second time it happened to me
Just like I never learnt 🤦‍♀️😢😰

No matter what
I still hope that I can find my precious piece
I have asked my friend and my cousin who is now the hajj pilgrims to pray for me as well...








Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Zombie life

For the past few weeks
I guess I was living like a zombie
All concerning my work
Dealing with many types of customers
Rushing to deadlines
Outstation etc
To make matter worst due to my perfectionist personality 🤦‍♀️

Regardless of long list of things to do
And around the corner deadlines
Confusion of which task to complete first
Suddenly I went for hybernation last weekend
Doing nothing except eating and watching kdrama Eve 🤦‍♀️😅

But on monday morning 
I became so worried with the piles of tasks
And almost did not want to wake up.
But, finally I overcame it

When I arrived at work 
Again I did not know which task that I should do first....
But when it comes to gossipinh and  food laju pulak 🤣.

My colleague told me that she made me as the example to justify her concern during a meeting
However I was kinda annoy 
When certain of what she listed concerning me
Was Not really true
And may lead to misinterpreted by others

But...thing has passed
Couldn't be rewind
So I have to train myself 
Not to overthinking
And let go of things that I can't control

So i bought the following food for lunch
Nasi campur lauk asam pedas ikan+bende goreng+taugeh+sambal belacan
And jambu+asam kawan belanja

Unfortunately around 2pm
One of the organizer for the external workshop
complained that I did not complete my claim form
and did not provide my ID photocopy and payroll slip 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Once settled with this claim thingy
I have to check my junior customers task
Dah komen dan ada contoh pun salah 😡😅
Sabau je la

Then I was so shocked to see my attendance record
Not again ...
The outstation was not recorded
Not enough working hours etc...
Maybe due to system error my reasons were not submitted 

I went to town to buy stationery, food for dinner and raya cookies
Unfortunately, only the banner of raya cookies still available 🤣🤣🤣
And the stationery shop closed early

I had a small bowl of soto+a quarter plate of nasi goreng+laici kang for dinner
Unfortunately, around 3-4am I got stomache
And went to the toilet several times

Today I had mcd pie apple for brekky
And this food for lunch



Unfortunately...I had stomache again atound 8pm 
What is wrong with me?
I was afraid to had dinner
But I was so hungry
I ended up having 2 packets of biscuits+hot peaches tea
High calorie but not satisfying my hunger 🤦‍♀️😅

This one whole day
I was kinda had mental block
while checking and editing my jaws customer's document
I only submitted the latest version to her at about 9.50pm
Kinda dissapointed when certain people just doing their work rushingly and not properly
Additionaly, when she hardly listen to my suggestion 
I wonder how can she do something that require at least a month in just one day














Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Tak kesampaian

Konon today cuti
Nak pi tukar IC baru
Nak pi tukar nama pemilik kereta
Nak pi servis kereta
Nak lipat baju
Nak urut coz sakit bawah belikat

Utk renew IC
Rasa tak mau pakai tudung hitam
Nanti nampak bosan
Nak pakai tudung plain instant dark blue
Risau design tak dibenarkan
Risau juga embossednya berkilau

Nak pakai new tudung instant merah
Belum basuh
Confirmlah kedut
Lagipun inner mcm terlipat
Pangkal tudung pun macam tak smooth
Kena iron properly kot

Nak pakai tudung pleated dark purple
Baju light purple tak dijumpai
Jenuh cari di bakul laundry, 
Di bukitan baju tak berlipat
Di dalam wardrobe
Di dalam beg balik raya
Di dalam beg balik weekend
Di dalam jut bag
Pun takde 
🤔🤔🤔🤦‍♀️

Selalu mcm ni
Haritu sebelum raya cari tudung pleated hitam
Dah la kalut nk packing
Dah lewat
So balik kg je la

Siapa pulak pi curi tudung
Dan baju
Pakaian murah je 😅

Tapi tadi rupanya 
Tudung hitam tu terselit dalam jut bag
🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Anyway due to cari baju dah buang masa
Tu belum lagi nak google tudung utk IC
Tapi si android+google asyik lah pi redirect ke lazada 😡
Wasting time

Bila cuba nak block
Dah google cara to prevent redirect
Tak faham2
Bila faham, tak menjadi pula
Wasting time

So dah 10++am
Dah panas
I pun takde mood nk keluar 
Tapi tengoklah 😅


Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Bubur lambuk berhias

Semalam kalut nak pi ofis
Semasa dah masuk ke perkarangan tempat kerja
Baru sedar saya tertinggal cermin mata
Nak patah balik malas
Lagipun dah lewat
Padanlah muka ...
Kabur nak hadap laptop
Sakit kepala kerana memaksa diri

Tapi tulah...
Kerja gerak sikit je
Tapi mulut gerak dari 1-4pm
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😅....
Kalut balik solat

Then kalut juga balik dari ofis
Nearly 7pm
Masuk tempeh dalam air fyer
Potong and rendam brocoli
Reheat sambal hitam dalam microwave
Aik...awat sambal mcm kekal bentuk
Biasa tak sampai 20 saat dah panas
Adoi rosaklah tu...
Ni mesti gara2 masak nasi guna mv haritu
Dah la my gas stove dah tak berfungsi
Terpaksa guna electric cooker
Celur brocoli
Reheat bubur lambuk
Reheat sambal...
Buka Danmuji
Nah siap bubur lambuk berhias



Anyway
Moral of the story for yesterday
Jangan mudah bersangka2
Jangan mudah kecil hati
Orang tak ajak
Rupa-rupanya orang tolong ambilkan

For today
Long list of things to do
Kalut print itu ini
Sempat dengar kisah si ibu yg tiada mood beraya
Beraya seorang diri buat pertama kali 😢
Atau balik ke kampung menumpang saudara
Anak tunggal akan beraya di rumah mertua
Jiran pula tiba2 tidak bertegur sapa
Kesian kan...
Sebab tu kita yang mendengar ni
Patut bersyukur with what we have
Dan doakan baik2 utk org yg begini

My colleague suddenly shared her voice note material
I searched for other material
And shared with her
Sharing is caring 😁
Together we are stronger

Then I downloaded my customers' documents
I am really worry about my laptop capacity
Only 3.2gb left...

While I was struggling to complete my list of things to do
My colleague reminded me to check her customer's project 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
As what I have planned the day before
I totally forgotten about it

While I was rushing with the checking task
My biskut raya supplier came to deliver my order
Then another biskut raya supplier sent me a message 
that I can pick up my order at the main office at 4.15pm 
Oh! NO!! 😱😱😱
still a lot to check
Alhamdulillah I done submit it by 4.20pm

Then I drove hurriedly to the main office
Oh! NO!!!
Where is my supplier office
I went to a different building
To make matter worst she neither reply my messages
Nor pick up my call
I had to call another friend
🤣🤣🤣
Since when did they relocate to another building???

Biskut raya is biskut raya
I missed my friends here
My ex housemates
Short meeting 
But very meaningful
Yes...we need to held a reunion

Then I went back to my office
Uploading files and reorganizing them in the new folder
Then shared them with my customer

Next I went to shop lot
Unfortunately the matcha tea is gone 😭😭
Went to speedmart to buy almond milk
Still no stock 😭😭😭

went back home
Reheat the leftover rice
Reheat sambal jawa
Reheat ayam masak kicap, add on black pepper sauce and brocoli

Went back to office
Broke my fasting
With the dates and grass jelly drink 😅 in my car

Then rushed back home
To have to reheat leftover food...



After tarawih 
I had 3 pieces raya cookies



While typing this post
I had oreo ice cream
Terpengaruh nampak org beli minggu lepas 🤣🤣🤣













Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Just throw your toxic ego

It is not easy to let go
When someone said improper words
When I told him it is not ok to do so
When it really hurt my feeling
When there was tears in my eyes
When other people shock to read the words as well
When I left the group
When I left a big task that can contributes to many people

It is not easy to let go
When someone did not want to apologize
Just ignore it like nothing happen
When several colleagues have advised him to do so

It is not easy to let go
When I had given the reminder generally in the meeting about attitude, manners and stealing others' work
When someone purposely share something about defamation in the social media?
Why suddenly share that kind of article
Why be triggered like that if he did nothing wrong
For what?
To remind me?
To threaten me?
To make me worry?

It is not easy to let go
When other people tried to advise him to just apologize
But he arrogantly said to others
He did not do anything wrong
Why he has to apologize?

It is not easy let go
When other people told me he also updated a status regarding this issue
And that status can be seen by the colleagues as well
What is the purpose?
To gain sympathy and support?
To make me read it
But hello I never read anyone status 🤣🤣

It is not easy to let go
When other people has also tried to advise him to just apologize
But again he arrogantly said to others
He did not do anything wrong
Why he has to apologize?

If he think his words were not wrong
Ok...I will try to accept that.
But how about he knew that his words hurt  my feeling?
So why he still do not want to apologize?

Rude, ego, arrogant, trying to threaten me and make a fuss in social media
He did not respect me
Only select certain people to be nice
Did not walk the talk
When he involves in the task about manners 😅
He just works here for less than 3 months
See...this kinda attitude from new people
How about later?

Due to him
I feel unhappy to work here
No motivation anymore...
Not only me...
There are others who feel the same
Again ....Due to his attitude
Stealing other people hard work
Admit his mistake to the third party
But never apologise to the one involve
Act like nothing happen

And I know that...
Whatever that colleague and I feel
He feels it too...
The negative energy will bounce back to him
Moreover I always hope that he will be always kept away from me and my work place🤲🤲🤲
I imagine and believe that it gonna be happen on one fine day 
Can't wait for that moment
My dear friend also pray for the best for me

Last year 
One of my colleague told me that ...
He felt like not feeling calm
He wanna resign from work
Glad to hear that
But his family objected to that
But...hmm...still here

Today
Another colleague told me
He feel like wanna resign
Due to the tiring trip
Need to focus with his bussiness
But he is a bit heavy hearted when thinking about service duration ...

So you see...
Moral of the story...
Life is a cycle...
What you give you get back
Never ever makes other people unhappy
Due to our words and attitude...
If you hurt people feeling
Apologise !!!
You will never be calm unless you apologise..

As for me
As what the speaker said
Do not ever put hope
Or expect things to happen as what we wanna it to be

So I should let it go
Try to be forgiven
Even though he never apologise

But...
For time being 
I can't do so...
I am really deeply hurt
I still remember how miserable I was last year

Planning to take a long leave
Or just to resign...
But I kinda of SEDAR DIRI
Banyak hutang lagi 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Moreover one of the senior had reminded me
Rugilah....

The feeling of wanna die
But SEDAR DIRI
Dosa banyak 😅😅😅
Bekalan pun tak cukup lagi
Banyak lompang sana sini

Certain people may think
Why is it so hard to let go?
This is very small matter
Why let this some one ruining me?

Well...
We will never understand certain thing
Until we are in that people shoes...














Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Ramadhan weight

Dah 3am ni...
But tak boleh tidur 😭😭😭
Nk muntah tengok IG/FB/youtube
Or belek2 gambar lama
Lagi sakit hati pun ada
Coz byk gambar when I was 16kg lighter
Quite ok skin and No pigmentation
With thick and healthy hair

Dah tu...passed is passed...
Bukannya nak pi tahajud ke kan
Pi buat benda2 mengarut
Apalah nak jadi?

Sejak puasa ni
Tak larat nak sahur berat
Biasa kurma dgn susu/air kosong
Or tak terbangun sahur 🤦‍♀️

Rasa dah kurangkan portion makan waktu beebuka
Kadang2 cuba juga suku2 separuh
No ice cream
Selagi boleh cuba elak sweet food kuih/cake etc
Melainkan teringin sangat 
Ada juga orang beri

Baru sekali beli taufufah
Baru sekali beli 2 paket kuih 
Dan sebekas bubur pulut hitam 
Tu pun limitkan sehari 1-2 ketul
End up tak habis
Since dah almost 2 weeks
I terpaksa buang
Sayang....tapi memang tak selera
Lagipun dah keras 😅

Tapi tang air tu susah sikit 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Baru sekali minum air berkarbonat-F&N orange 😅
Air kelapa no sugar 1x
Air cincau tin 1x, 
matcha green tea 2x, 
hazelnut matcha ice blended 1x
Blend fruit juice sendiri 1x
Buat lemon asam boi madu 2x

Owh selain makan buah naga/anggur/mangga/tembikai
But buah kan manis
So I kawal juga portion

But without exerciselah
Selain lemau
Memang tiada semangat nak mulakan
So very slow weight loss....
Lepas tu padan muka
Dissappointed 😭
Harapan tinggi 😅


Here is my note
0. 3 april: first day ramadhan
1. 4 april: puasa 1-64.5kg
2. 5 april : 63.2kg
3. 6/04: 62.6 kg(diarrhea) 🤦‍♀️😅
4. 7/4: 62.6 kg
5. 8/4: 62.2 kg(total lose for 5 days=2.3kg)
       Expectation:
            7 days=3 kg..........61.5kg
          14 days=6kg.........58.5kg
          30 days=12kg ....52kg???
6.9/4: 61.9 (6d=2.6kg)
          Static/gain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
7. 15/4: 61.7 (12d=2.9kg)
          Static/gain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
8. 18/4: 61.4(15d=3.1kg)
         New expectation:
         30days=6.2kg...58.3kg

Tapi bila fikir semula...
Dulu tahun 2017 ada coach
Utk 2 bulan...
Once/twice a week adalah exercise 1-1.30jam
Makan kadang jaga kadang tak 🤣
Dari 60kg turun ke 57kg
Turun 3 kg je 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
But mmg nmpk juga inches loss
Bayangkan dulu dengan exercise pun turun sikit je
Mmg jenis low metabolic rate kot 😁



Sunday, April 10, 2022

Menu Ramadhan 7 hari

First day-Ahad
Walaupun tak puasa 😅
Masak apa ada...
Tak sempat/larat pi kedai
So sambal sardin+paratha

Second day-Isnin
Baru start puasa
But I saja ambil cuti
I cancelled Meeting with customers as well
Konon nk kemas rumah
But tak gerak
I tambah gochucaru (cili korea) dalam sambal sardin supaya pedas
Tp tak pedas pun 🤣
Dan goreng telur+lobak asin



Third day
Konon nak pi withdraw duit
Tapi teringin sambal petai
Pi bazar ramadhan
Dah la it was drizzling
Kecewa....
Hmmm...sana sini roti john
Kuih pun tak byk pilihan
Or banyak dah habis
Air pun tak menarik
Takde org jual lauk
Dalam pada takde apa tu byk gak I beli 😅
Antaranya mee kari +air kelapa + taufufah 



Tapi esoknya I terpaksa ambil EL
I had diarrhea 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Fourth day
Nasi ayam golek 
dari bazar ramadhan semalamnya


Tapi kira candle light breakfasting 😅
Coz black out ....



Fifthday
Pun nak cari lauk di gerai/kedai nearby my house
Lauk di kedai tak byk pilihan.
Lagipun semua ayam
So I pi kedai lain
Beli ikan bakar +teh hijau
Pi gerai tamak pulak
Beli bubur pulut hitam+kuih kaswi+kuih sagu
Tapi mkn kuih je...
So hadaplah sehari seketul 😅🤣
Keras dah...nanti kena kukus semula
Bila taip post ni baru teringat bubur 🤦‍♀️😅



Sixth day
Teringin burger pulak
Konon nak belanja my nearby customers
But I just asked siapa yg ada
Tak ckp nk belanja pun
Masing2 senyap2...
Sedihkan...niat nak bersedekah pun tak tercapai
Alhamdulillah ada security guards at my work place
Tapi tak cukup pulak burgernya for them 😅
Harap them share lah
Anyway here was my portion



Seventh day
Misi mengosongkan fridge
Kali ni modify sambal sardin
Curah lebihan kuah mee kari
Jadilah...kari sardin 🤣🤣🤣
Masak telur dadar
Tumis brocoli sos tiram
Penuh pinggan
Suapan ke-3 dah senak perut 🤣🤣🤣








Fullstop

 Semalam ternampak FB posting Syed Azmi
He shared quotes from IG

"Marahnya orang sabar adalah diam"
"Marahnya orang kecewa adalah pergi"

The second line just happened to me last week
When a friend ignored my advice for not copy paste
When her words hurt my feeling
When for the first time in 12 years 
I got the courage to say ....
Her words really hurt me
When she said she upset with me
 I chose not to not reply her whatsapp message
No point of saying anything anymore
when someone did not want to listen
Even though it is for her own good
Not only she hurt me
She made me dissapointed with her
I better leave

But after 5 days
I just wanted to clear the air
Maybe I did wrong too
Maybe my words also hurt her
I thought she had enough time and space
To calm down
To think and reflect
After all it's now Ramadhan
So I just asked what she had for breakfasting...

But today....
After 3 days I am still waiting for her reply
Hmm...is this situation refering to the first quote?
Seems not suitable huh 😅

Hmm...let her be
This is not the first time she gave me the silent treatment 😅....
It kinda normal to me
Be it her, other friend or my colleague

Certain people only find me
When they need my favour
When they want me to lend my ears...
But when I am in need
Or think about them
They just ignore me

I guess I should avoid this kinda people
No point thinking
Or worrying about them
Or feeling sympathy for them
If they never think or worry about me
Moreover dealing with them
Gonna make my life miserable 
So enough is enough
FULL STOP....




Friday, April 1, 2022

Rambutan

 Yang ditunggu...


Yeay rambutan menang...