Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Keep quiet and Walk Away

Sometimes thing is better left unsaid.

Whenever there is disagreement
Silence is better
No further explanation
No matter how true it is
Do not stress myself
Do not overthinking
I can't control everything
Just walk away
And move on

Sunday, May 1, 2016

When to do list is only a list

Happy Labour Day....

Macam biasa sebelum bebel, kita tunjuk gambar food


That was food for lunch today. Moist grilled chicken+guacamole+grilled eggplant n carrots. That chicken was a leftover from my Kenny Rogers dinner 2 weeks ago. I just added the frozen ikea cream sauce as gravy for the chicken. I used limau kasturi instead of lemon for the guacamole..dah itu je yang ada...

What is the title of the post all about?

Well my initial plan was to do my evaluation task on friday night,  prepare certain documents and to complete my files in office in saturday morning and go back to hometown in the afternoon. However, I did nothing on friday nite. As a resut, I planned to do the evaluation task on saturday morning, postponed the office work to the afternoon and back to hometown this morning. But, it really hard to get up once I got stucked on the sofa. So, for today I planned to do house chores in the morning and go back home after zuhur prayer. But, once done with hanging clothes to dry, cleaning and tydying up my kitchen n fridge ...I stopped for brekky. Suddenly I found myself laze around watching recorded Maharajalawak. Finally I ended up planning to go back home tommorow. Feeling guilty, so I cleaned the living room and family area, sorting bills and receipts. After lunch, now I am back on my comfy sofa ....oppps....So, hopefully I am strong enough to go to the office around 3pm today and complete my evaluation task before going back home tommorow morning.  






Saturday, April 30, 2016

Marinated lamb for lunch


I had this for lunch: Grilled Lamb+eggplant+cucumber+carrot.

Biasanya I had lamb for dinner. Ni gambar in one month time.



I suka beli marinated lamb di jusco. It was only RM3.59 per piece. Ada sekali tu it was only RM2.99 per piece.

Rasa teruk sangat hari ini. Konon nak ke office sekejap, tapi dari pagi dok tv+internet. Setakat nak bangun pi masukkan pakaian dlm washing machine pun malas. Nilah bila gara2 kepenatan bekerja.

Hari khamis malam I dok modify bahan for my trainees. Dah buat kerja entah apa2. Sound easy but still I need to search for materials to add here and there. Dah siap, then emailkan pd mereka. Akibatnya I hanya dpt tidur after 3.30am. I slept for 3 hours only.

Yang mendatangkan marah, dah suruh dtg jumpa 11am, tp datang 12.15pm. Dah suruh baiki dan cari material to support, pun entah apa2. Bila ditanya senyap. Yang sorang pulak konon bateri laptop problem. Ditegur tahu pulak nangis. Habis, kenapa tak guna komputer office? Selama 4 jam apa yg them buat.

Sape tak hangin. I terpaksa terima them coz kesian. Then bila I complained buat kerja entah apa2, my colleague blaimed me. I penat fikir apa kerja yg sesuai utk them. Takde satu kerja pun yg dibuat dengan baik dan bersungguh. Kerja mudah macam menaip pun takkan tak reti type elok2 dari segi format, ejaan, jarak dll. Cakap n pesan banyak kali pun macam tu juga. Dahla tiada common sense, semua nak kena cakap. I dahlah byk kerja, ni penat nk layan karenah mereka.

Ni I dah stay up utk baiki kerja them sampai keeja lain terbengkalai, pun them langsung tiada rasa syukur. Memang tak sedar diri. I bukan mengungkit or minta balasan. Tapi I sedih dan geram them tak kisah lansung. I bersungguh nak tolong them, tapi them tak nak tolong diri sendiri.

Bila I  cakap petang nak tengok semula kerja them beserta bahan sokongan. Ingatkan faham bahasa, pun menaikkan amarah. Dah hampir 5pm baru nak tunjuk. Lepas tu kerja masih hampeh. Orang suruh cari references as support, dia hanya cari SATU reference  sahaja. Pulak tu guna ayat sendiri je coz kononnya semua I dah letak. Kalau semua I dh buat, I hanya minta them tambah 5% je...takkan tu pun tak boleh. Yang sorang lagi kalau pagi kata bateri problem, petang tu tunjuk la kerja yg memuaskan. I dah buat semua, dia hanya perlu masukkan dalam google form je. Pun entah apa2...arahan bukan di halaman sepatutnya. Tulisan pun proportion tak logik. Besar sangat or kecik sangat. I am not asking for perfect outcome but at least try to produce proper outcome....

So, merasalah them kena marah 2 kali sehari hahaha....Memanglah I stress banyak kerja, tapi I naik angin bukan pasal kerja yg byk. But due to their dont care attitude.

 Yes...hectic and tiring day. 9am dah meeting. Ingatkan settle dah, then only I realised that ada yg kami tak perasan. Jenuhlah nk fikir sensorang. Sambil tu check system approve cutilah, colleagues evaluation lah etc. Tu tak masuk dgn melayan potential customer. Lama pulak tu. Call sampai 2x pulaak. Dia OKU cacat penglihatan. Tapi dia mengharapkan skim yg our organisation does not offer. Dah busy sangat lunch hour tak keluar dan tak rehat. Around 2.30pm, kalut tengok application form from other department customers. Kena check their qualification satu2...berpinor mata n kapla. 3.30-4.30 mtg with my senior customer. Hmm banyak nau alasan....then mengadap that ungrateful spoiled brat. Buat itu ini, sedar2 dah dekat 6.30pm. Org lain dh selamat di kampung, takkan I nak stay di ofis lagi kan.


Thursday, April 28, 2016

Breakfasting menu: Day 1


I left office around 7pm and definitely too tired to cook. Luckily, Domino Delivery my savior...camno nak kuruih??? Tak sedar diri pi minum pepsi. Chet...tak sedar diri ada gastrik. Biasalah bila stress, nak makan....nak makan banyak.

As usual today was a nonstop work from 9am to 7pm. I sorted documents from morning to evening, but still couldnt finish it. However, I still need to do other tasks. In the morning, I had one hour discussion with colleagues about the fund for participants etc for our end of year program. They also suggested new activities for next month workshop. Then, I sent an email regarding that matter to the committee, followed by reminder for tommorow adhoc meeting and super junior customers'status in system.  I didnt even have a break during lunch hour and as a result I got migraine, stiff neck and shoulder pain. Next, I checked junior staff evaluation but need to remind them on certain items. Right after that meeting with my trainees...or should I say nagging...sleep during office hours, didnt do the correction as I asked them to, no common sense. Just wasting my time checking their task several time and sometimes act like their PA to remind them. But yet someone blaimed me it is all my fault...my unclear explanation. Hello, do I need to explain every single thing? They are not school children...whatever.  Only those who are working with them know how challenging and stressful it was. Well...these were only up to 3pm tasks. Tak kuasa nak recall and type even though it is good for memory practice.

Nak rehat jap sambil tonton recorded hlive inspiration. Really inspired to see Rosyam Nor and his farm ....taiwan markisa, sour sop and jackfruit. Tu tak masuk ternakan lembu dan biri2.



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Jangan fikir

I learnt something dari rakan seperjuangan or sekapal petang tadi.
Kita hanya boleh sampaikan. Kalau orang tak mahu kita tak boleh kawal. Maka, jangan fikir. Jangan menambah stress. Itulah kunci gembira.

I tried to be positive and practise what I learnt. Tapi bila malam bertukar negatif gara-gara si attention seeker buat kecoh dalam whatsapp group. Tak sabar nak tunggu esok. Pulak tu ada yg melayan. Kalau I kata bincang esok, maksudnya esok lah. Ni ada yg saja bising walhal untuk menyindir atau menyuarakan tidak puas hati pada boss. Bila I dah sound, ingatkan semua faham. Rupa2nya si kecoh dok berkicau lagi.

Malam orang nak rehat. Kalau tak rehat pun, tak larat nak fikir hal2 remeh. Seharian macam biasa memang sibuk. Pagi hingga tengahari mesyuarat penting. Ada masa sikit sebelum lunch break semak kerja my trainee. Aduh!!! Serabut...
1. tak baiki apa yg disuruh.
2. Selamba tinggalkan pejabat tanpa dikunci dan pi makan.
Then I terpaksa makan laju2, solat, kalut pi mesyuarat di cawangan lain pula.
5pm sampai ofis semak kerja my trainee...Adui degil lagi....
5.30pm balik n singgah beli food. Terserempak dengan my problematic customer. Hmm...buat hal lagi. Semalam dah janji satu tak dapat, nak fokus dua yg tinggal. Alih-alih harini kata nak give up coz buat hal lagi. Sampai bila nak jadi begini. No matter where you go and what you do you wont get anything if you keep on repeating the same mistakes. You got your second chance and you wasted it. It's all depend on you!!! You know it and you just let it be....how long you wanna act like this???? The verdict:
1. Nak jadi pekerja, tapi tak mahu bekerja
2. Tak tahu apa yg dia nak
3. Tiada halatuju.
So terpulanglah...I dah tak mampu nk nasihat n bantu.


Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Gemuknya !!!

I attended a meeting this afternoon and met my ex-boss. The moment he saw me, the word in this post title came out from his mouth.
Am I Surprised with his word?
Yes...malu sikit je...
Does it hurt my feeling ?
No...I accept and aware of my condition?
It is a challenge for me to loose weight...

A bit weird when he said that I look better now compared to last time ....kurus.
Eh!!! Pernahkah ku kurus???
Tulah dulu masa berat 42-44 kg dah rasa diri tu gemuk sangat. Now...rasakan the real gemuk of 54kg and inches...padan muka I kan....

Let's enjoy this tomyam n watermelon juice for dinner





Monday, April 25, 2016

Dinner tak kurus

Konon nak jaga makan.
Tapi sebelum balik singgah membeli cik oblong


As usual what a hectic day....
Working nonstop and the only break was for zuhur n asar prayers.

Just for my notes.......

9.20am: called senior staff for document correction.
9.30am: contacted the consultant for problematic customer
9.30am -12pm : security issue meeting.
12++- prepared n sent email regarding customer award
2.20pm -made several call regarding sharing work load.
2.50pm-done with junior customer plan n evaluation for the next term
3.30pm-done with system checking n staff leave. Hmm...someone took extra leave than the entitlement and definitely burden me to prepare documents for the main office and HR department. Orang sesedap cuti, I sengsara.
4pm-done with junior customer monitoring report approval n reminder for colleagues
4.25-done checking n making correction for new program paper work
5.30-check and update next term plan for super junior and sent it to relevant party
5.50pm-my trainee need advice for her task
6.20pm-got confirmation from customer who no longer in need
6.40pm-done with updating the system for junior customers for next term
6.50pm-sent email to senior staff asking a favor to check translation
-several unanwered call n message to my problematic customer.
7pm-balik la....






Sunday, April 24, 2016

Working on weekend


Nice place to take a break but not to work.

Nothing

Out of sudden I am feeling down...
Running tears ....
I am sick of everything
How I wish everything ends ....

When I delegate my work,
people think that I am taking advantages on them
Making them stress
Complaining in facebook
Yes...I am aware of that,
I got the allowance for the work
They just helping me and got nothing

When sometimes I try talk to them to do extra work based on their expertise
They demanded this and that
Talk behind my back
In fact someone hinted not to pijak and aniaya orang
Konon peringatan utk diri sendiri
Tapi sebenarnya reminder for me

Whenever I point out certain instruction
People akways complain it is not clear
Yes..i know I am not good in communication

When I held a meeting
People do not the understand the material that i have prepared and rather pushy in offering his help.
It just that I didnt have time, that is why the material looks terrible
I do not want to feel in debt with people
After all it is my job, why I want to burden people
But if I didnt accept his offer, I may hurt his feeling
People may think that I didnt care about senior staff
I am to ego
But dont they think I feel so small,
 like I cant do anything
People think that they better than me and wanna take over my job task

When I spend hours to do certain translation,  only to hear the boss asked the senior staff to do so.
And someone just gave synical smile...
Hmm...seems that I am not good enough

The most saddest part was when someone so busy in front of the boss, that the boss asked what am  i doing...
Hmm...Seems that I do nothing





Saturday, April 16, 2016