Wanita memang kompleks

Sebelum ini, wanita itu sering bercerita mengenai kesukarannya untuk mendapat perlanjutan tempoh belajar dan keengganan penaja untuk menaja perlanjutan tersebut. Sama ada itulah syarat yang termaktub atau sekadar dendam, aku tidak perlu tahu dan seboleh-bolehnya cuba tidak mahu tahu. Hari Jumaat malam,  wanita itu bercerita tentang khabar terbaru setelah rayuan dibuat iaitu penaja ingin kepastian mengenai pengecualian bayaran yuran dari pihak universiti. Betapa kusut pemikirannya bila penyelia pula tidak muncul untuk perbincangan dan sangat lambat menyemak hasil penulisan.

 Sekali sekala terkeluar kata-kata bahawa penyelianya yang terdahulu yang cekap ( dan mempunyai jangkaan yg tinggi tapi suka memaksa) ada baiknya. Cerita itu terhenti bila kami memumpukan perhatian kepada cerita yang hanya lakonan semata-mata.

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Tiba-tiba wanita itu berkata sesuatu mengenai tayangan cerita itu dan jelas matanya dibasahi air mata yang terus mengalir di pipinya.

 Aku keliru, tayangan itu bukannya cerita sedih atau tragis yang perlu ditangisi. Malah, setahu aku komedi romantik bukanlah makanannya. Naluri ingin tahu membuatkan aku hampir membuka mulut bertanya, tapi akalku menghantar isyarat supaya aku berdiam sahaja...

Lantas pemikiranku melayang kepada kisah 2 bulan sebelum itu. Wanita itu kecewa kerana baru menyedari sudah tertera syarat muktamad sebelum menjejak kaki ke bumi kangaroo ini, tiada lagi rayuan selepas itu. Masih terngiang-ngiang di telingaku dengan kata-katanya

"Aku tembak je

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siapa-siapa yang kata aku kuat. Boleh terima dugaan. Mereka lemah. Apa? Ingat orang macam aku kuat sangatkah".

Ketika itu aku memang terkesima kerana aku adalah antara rakan-rakannya yang pernah berkata

"...Saya pernah terbaca yang Allah tidak akan menurunkan sesuatu yang tidak tertanggung oleh kita"

Ya, siapa yang tahu wanita yang kelihatan berkeyakinan tinggi, tabah dan kuat, tidak menangis di dalam hati atau di belakang kita?

Siapa yang tahu wanita yang kata-katanya selalu menghiris dan menikam hati yang mendengarnya, tidak sensitif?

 Hari Sabtu, wanita itu sekali sekala mengomel seorang sendiri sambil menonton tv. Ku perhatikan di dapur, si German ketawa bersama si American. Ku dengar si American berkata

"...the other day, I asked her, whom she talking too. She can't answer it. So I just said just kidding..bla....bla......" 

Bercakap seorang diri kerana tiada teman bercakap ketika itu atau sekadar meyakinkan diri atau mempertikaikan paparan di tv atau sekadar mengajuk dialog dari program tv? Hmm...bagi aku, jika aku ditanya semua itu, aku akan jawab semuanya kerana aku juga pernah begitu :)....

Pagi Ahad, ketika aku sedang menyiapkan kuih ketayap,

 gambar lama

wanita ini bercerita mengenai rakan yang terlibat dengan penulisan puisi dan mempertikaikan tentang penggunaan bahasa yang bercampur aduk. Beginilah lebih kurang dialognya.....

Aku: Eh! Kalau poem, boleh je.
Wanita: Mana boleh...bla..bla...
Aku: How would we know? Kita bukan orang arts....
Wanita: Yelah, masa kita belajar dulu-dulu, mana boleh macam tu.
Aku: Masa sekolah ko belajar literature ke? (Dalam hatilah)
Wanita : Tapi tak tahulah kalau sekarang boleh.
Aku: Sebab tulah dia menang

.........
.........

Wanita: Dia kata Downtown Abbey tiada mesej.

Aku: Biasalah tuh.
Wanita: Bagi I Harry Porter pun ada mesej.

Aku: Apa mesejnya?( Hahaha...saja nak bakar)
Wanita : Kesungguhan Harry mencari........bla bla......

...........
...........

Wanita: Bla..bla...bla...Malaslah kalau nak bercakap orang asyik nak menang je. Tu yang kadang2 I diam aje.
Aku: Tulah masing-masing is different. Yang pentingnya jangan look down on people.

..................
.................
Tidak lama kemudian....

Wanita: Menyampahlah dengan orang rumah ni. Bukan youlah..............
              Ada yang pepagi lagi dah bebel..she didn't her dutylah...............
              ...............................            

               Semua benda kena bagitau......bla bla......................
               .............................................
               ...........................................
Aku: Tulah, elok gak kita tengok diri kita. Mesti ada benda yang kita buat diaorang tak suka jugak.

............
............

 Selepas aku tulis semua dialog ini, 
I think later I should just keep my mouth shut and smile :)...............

Berdiam bukan bermakna kita salah, berdiam juga bukan bermakna kita setuju. Tidak perlu menjadi heroin semata-mata nak membuka mata pihak lain.

Ada yang naik angin bila kita mengeluarkan pendapat yang bertentangan dengan pendapat mereka. Tapi memang tidak dinafikan bila orang yang sama menunjukkan rasa tidak puashati apabila kita berdiam sahaja.

Ada yang minta kita berterus terang untuk mengelakkan salah faham, tapi bila kita berterus terang perang pun meletus.

Ada yang mengatakan jika dia berhutang dengan sesiapa, si pemiutang harus mengingatkan dan menuntut bayaran, tapi sipenghutang berasa hati pula bila sipemiutang mengingatkan dengan nada yang menjengkelkan atau hanya meletakkan notis di petisejuk meminta dibayar secepat mungkin walhal hari-hari mereka berjumpa. (Akulah yang sentap tu opppssssssss.....coz setakat aud5.25 je, lagipun dia pun masih ada hutang dengan aku hahhaa...Aku dah lama asingkan duit nak bayar, adakalanya terlupa. Bila teringat, dia pula tiada)

Maka tidak hairanlah ada yang berkata wanita memang susah difahami dan sukar dijangka, senang cerita wanita dikatakan kompleks. Sebagai manusia yang kompleks, maka kita perlu bijak mengawal emosi, perbuatan dan kata-kata supaya tidak mengeruhkan keadaan.

Ya, senang ditulis, mudah diucap, bagaimana pula dengan melaksanakannya ?????

Merah petak atau belang

Sebelum kita borak pasal si petak dan belang, meh nak tunjuk menu buka puasa ganti from Tuesday to Thursday 17/05/2012...

Tak sempat masak on Tuesday, so bila je food ....Setakat Salmon wrap pun Aud3.50 kan. Tapi memang kira dah murah giler. Harga asal Aud7.50 ye puan-puan. So nak murah belilah lagi 30 minutes before the closing time hehehe...Bijak tak???. Tapi aku makan one piece je la. Balik rumah aku melantak biskut cicah mushroom soup. Then lapar lagi, so just makan corn kernel...chet ingatkan creamy...Takpelah telan je. Macam tekak tak puasa ek....Makin pening dengan paper revision. Dah tambah term, result makin pelik. Bila check, ada yg tersilap coeficients, ok sikit, but still tak logik. So balik malam lah....Bawah ni library yg jarang ku kunjungi. Yelah dah boleh dapat bahan online, tergedik2 masuk library buat apa. Lainlah nak pinjam buku2 lama...

Toleh jap...hok bangunan imaginary tulah school kami...Gelap kan. Bahaya jalan sensorang, kat celah2 pokok tu walaupun jaraknya dekat je...

Eh lupa lak...si petak dan si belang merah.
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Takde apa pun...just nak tunjuk gaya early winter with my scarf petak yg hampir nak cekik leher tuh and baju belang yg menambahkan bam-bam. Yang double chin tu haishh..camna lah aku tak crop.......

 I didn't go to uni on Wednesday...Giler bangun tengahari. Tidur pagilah. Susah beno nak tidur awal. Terkebil-kebil...Nak bangun buat kerja tak larat...Teringin nak makan acar rampai dan rendang minang....

First time buat tu acar rampai...Recipe from Myrecipe and ada gak jenguk rumah Dayang Jack. Aku malas nak bawak turun recipe. So tak ikut sukatan lah, selain lupa letak kunyit dan tiada mustard seed. Rendang minang cinonit tuh segera ya..Just reheat je la. Tak ingat jenama apa. Nantilah aku upload gambar kotaknya. Sepaket ada 2 ketul cinonit, tu pun tulang je lebih :(...Malam tu pi rumah kawan mengambil kotak2 untuk packing barang la...Ok jugak kanda ada kereta ni...boleh rakyat jelata menumpang.  Cuma yg tak bestnya bila balik rumah, dia bising kata bau cuka. I cakap memang I masak guna cuka. Tapi letak sikit je la. Lagipun dah masak mana bau dah. Nak kata tumpah kat bench top tak pulak. Kena baju pun tidak...Ntah2 baju dia masam hahhaha.........E..eh bukan aku buat cerita, memang dia cium jugak lengan baju dia tau...

Tu tak termasuk dia bebel pasal housemate yang tak buat duty n housemate yg suka complaint. Minah German supposed to vacuum clean the house last weekend. Tapi dia tak buat. So, minah US pun complaint kat aku orang tak buat duty. Aku cakap mungkin tak perasan or dia nak buat monday. Memang on Monday petang baru dia nak buat. Tetiba vacuum cleaner tu hangit dan berasap. So minah german tak jadilah buat duty dia. Tapi kok iya pun, guna je lah penyapu bersihkan dapur, then mop. Tapi tak buat jugak. Takpun pinjam vaccum cleaner unit lain...Pagi Selasa, aku tengok ada somebody dah sapu lantai dapur cumanya sampah serta penyapu dia letak tepi je, tak kemas la kan. Hmm..either Minah German yg buat or Minah US yg dah bengang yg buat. Petang Rabu, Minah German pinjam vacuum cleaner unit lain. Tapi aku musykil bila dia mintak maaf dia lambat vakum dan tak terfikir nak pinjam unit lain punya. She told me that someone said that she didn't do her duty. So bila kanda balik baru aku tau cerita sebenar. Kanda suruh Minah German buat duty dia. Minah german pun kata, US housemate told her to do so too. Kanda ni pulak pi cakap Us housemate complaint kat dia. Minah German pulak said she didn't like people talk behind her back. Kalut pulak kanda, pandai dia cover Us housemate ask her wther she saw German hmate or not.  Tulah buat apa jadi penyampai, dah macam nak lagakan orang. Cakap je la since this week duty kanda pulak, so takkan dia kena habiskan kerja orang. So bila dia bebel2 kat aku, aku cakap lenkali jangan jadi penyampai, nanti tak pasal2 orang gaduh. Dia kata dia tak suka jadi proxy, US housemate suka sangat complaint, kenapa tak directly talk to German hmate. Then I told her, if she didn't like it why didn't she tell Us housemate too.

I really hate tukang sampai. Dulu pun dia jadi tukang sampai masa Minah berdua tu nak pi Melbourne. Minah US kata dia tak tahu pun pasal latest plan. Kanda pi sampaikan kat German hmate. Minah tu pulak cakap dia dah bagitau dalam FB. Memang elok kita dengar from both side...tapi buat apa nak jadi tukang sampai yg akan mengeruhkan lagi suasana. Memang I tak patut bukak aib orang kat sini, tapi macam manalah nak sedarkan orang macam tu ya?

On Thursday pun tak pi uni, so buka puasa dengan leftover food lah. Sekali lagi bila kanda balik, sibuk kata bau rebung. I cakaplah, kanda ni macam2lah...bau cuka lah, bau rebunglah. Sape pulak yg nak masak rebung...Tapi tulah, kalau tak dengar suara kanda rindu jugak hahhaha............Psst, kat rumah kami ada transformer kuning..nantilah i tangkap gambar.

Tadi jalan kaki pi city...Teringin nak makan taco. Tapi terbeli calamari ring sekali. On the way tu, nampak cantiklah pulak pokok maple nih. Jadilahkan...Nak pi botanic garden, malas. Pokok yg dekat rumah dah tak cantik....

Suka tengok daun merah and buah hijaunya...

Hah ni gambar maple tree in the city last 2 weeks...

 

Bila tengok memory card, banyak gambar aku tak post lagi. Ni ha menu2 terdahulu...senang letak terus bebanyak hahaha...

Beef kaprau...

Junk food for shift petang..chica chips tu ada logo halal tau....

 

Late lunch last last monday-pickled radish+egg+veges and sliced chicken roll+sambal cili...

 

Alamak....banyak lagi gambar food...Tak kuasa I nak upload dah...lenkali....till then....


UPDATE at 8.48pm:
I kat opis lagi ni. Yeay!!!!! Baru sat ni...My result for paper revision seems very promising. ALHAMDULILLAH....
So esok mungkin datang ofis to check whether other terms affect the total energy or not....

We imagined, we strive and perform dua, we achieved....

Sedang bertapa...

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................

Gadis dan masjid

Beberapa hari lepas aku berkenalan dengan seorang gadis manis muka bujur sirih di masjid. Kasihan, dia mengidap kanser.

Malam tadi, secara kebetulan kami bertemu sekali lagi di masjid yang lain. Dia masih mengenali aku. Gadis manis semakin cengkung dan ada bintik-bintik di wajahnya.

Pagi tadi, baru ku sedar ia hanya mimpi. Tapi terdetik di hati kenapa aku bertemu gadis penghidap kanser itu dua kali? Mimpi kali kedua di hari yang berbeza? Atau sebenarnya ia mimpi dalam mimpi? Adakah ia mimpi sekadar mainan tidur atau sebagai peringatan?

Rim bengkok

 Last nite, my American housemate came back carrying the bent bike wheel......

She seemed rather calm, but I can see in her eyes that she was still in shock or can't believe that it really happened to her. Luckily there was no cut or injury, just bruises on her hand even though she fell off from her bike. Her bike got hit by a car drove by OZ chick driver who just drove away. Luckily, one of the passer-by driver managed to chase the car and got the plate number. And another good samaritan which is a cab driver sent her to police station to lodge a report and gave her a lift home.

I went to see my spv this morning. She was also clueless about my paper revision. Then she suggested to me to do the simple structure first. Unfortunately, when I did that half through, I  realized that I can't use that structure because it actually does not has the property that I want to study. So, I just have to use the complex structure no matter how tedious it going to be :(. When I am done with the outline of that work, again I realized that I left my calculation work and reference at home. So, how can I write the programming code???????????????? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............................Terus teringin nak makan fried chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biasalah bila stress asyik nak makan je. Padahal tadi dah makan bekal leftover kari udang and kuskus...I cooked kari udang on Monday nite....

Makan pulak dengan roti nan and greek yogurt...yummm....

Laju je aku makan sambil tengok The Voice hehehe. Kalau beli roti naan yang fresh sekeping aud2.50. Yang ni aud2.50 dapat 4....reheat dalam microwave 30 saat je hehhee............ mudah and jimatkan. Kari udang tu kalau tak silap inspired from blog Zarin. Guna bahan apa yg ada je la. Tumis fennel, then masukkan minced garlic and sliced onion, masukkan curry paste( kari ikan+kari ayam+cili serbuk). Masukkan tomat, gula, garam and air asam. Then bendi, last baru masukkan prawn.For lunch on Tuesday I had prawn curry and couscous.

 Couscous kena rendam lah dengan air panas sampai kembang. Sekejap je. Then curahkan sikit olive oil, lemon juice, white pepper, minced garlic and coriander leaves...For dinner I had scrambled egg and salad-spinach+feta cheese+semi-dried tomato and pine nuts.............

Dah kenyang makan sambil tengok tv. Apalagi tak faham2 nak study ke. Maka stay up lah aku sampai 2am mengadap reference which has potential to replace my current project. Note: current project and paper revision tak sama ye...............

Eh! bila dah tulis entry ni, kurang sikit keinginan nak makan ayam goreng crispy and spicy hehhee............

Movie and Thesis

Dasyat tak? Dua dalam satu.....sambil writing thesis sambil tengok movie.............

Hahaha tu pun nak kecoh kan. Macam tak biasa buat kerja menyambilkan...

Better jenguk thesis daripada ngadap paper revision yg makin menemui jalan buntu..........

Dah macam2 aktiviti di hari Ahad kan, so memang kena stay up la. Biasanya hanya boleh stay up to 2-3am je la...Masalahnya, bila tido lambat, sukarlah nak bangun awalkan...Late morning, I accompanied kanda to fruit market, she drove her car of course. Ni hasil tuaian kami hehehhe...

My corriander leaves and kanda's parsley and thai basil. Kehijauan menambah seri ruang dapur kami hehehe. Pisau warna warni tu memang situlah tempatnya, provided by the accommodation management. Rasanya colourful stuff in trend la. Kami punya senduk and sudip pun colourful hehhee.........

I don't know how to say it whether it's weird of funny when kanda wanted to use her GPS for less than 6km journey hehehe. Come on, she has been here for nearly 3 years, how come she didn't notice the route? The buses pass by that fruit market everyday from two directions. Moreover, our accommodation shopping shuttle goes to that fruit market every weekend. I guess as usual she has no confidence or she was too busy talking to notice the route as she claimed hehhee....Yes, I know just because some of us notice/know the route, doesn't mean that everybody has to notice/know ;))...........

Then, biasalah buat kerja2 laundry and melipat baju. Later, bergayut dengan mak. Lama betul tak call mak dan abah. Selalu cakap dengan nephew or kakak je. Aku ni jenis cepat sedih, nanti tersentuh sikit nak nangis. Malulah nangis and mak dengar.  That afternoon, I told my mum that I have problem in my study. I was so touched when she said "Cubalah, memang itulah (success) mak doa hari2".  At that moment I can feel tears in my eyes. Tu la... lagi kerap aku call, lagi kerap aku miss home, lagi menambah jiwa kacau, so better do not call. Lain orang lain caranya. Ada yang call paling kurang twice a week. Memang ada kawan, hari2 pagi petang siang malam call mak dia. AUD100 pun tak cukup perweek termasuk chatting via YM. So, again it depends on people.

We went out for dinner tonite to celebrate our Philippines housemate's birthday. I was too hungry to snap the food photos. In fact my Philippines housemate wondered why I didn't take the photos... ...so layan je la muka paintbrush kami hehhee....pssst..I took that photo from her FB :)....................

Ni dah makin sakit kepala la. Either due to menstrual migraine or sinus problem..Yang penting kena kuat hadapi sebarang dugaan di saat-saat akhir ni....

Dugaan, syukur dan bahagia....

Pernah tak dengar mana-mana student PhD ada rasa atau terfikir atau tercakap nak mati atau ada cubaan nak bunuh diri????

Saya rasa perasaan tidak tentu arah itu normal bagi mana-mana pelajar terutama pelajar tahun akhir yang kebuntuan dan telah mencapai tahap ketepuan maksima. Apa yang penting ialah bagaimana pelajar tersebut mengawal diri dan perasaannya selain sentiasa mohon petunjuk dan perlindungan Allah :)....

Kita memang tidak boleh berterusan lari dari masalah. Apakata kita alihkan sebentar jiwa kacau tersebut dengan melakukan sesuatu yang menggembirakan kita seperti menikmati makanan yang diidamkan sekian lama

atau makanan kegemaran,

atau bersiar-siar,

dan window shopping.

Bagaimana pula menonton drama bersiri ?
(silap !!!! lagilah tangkap leleh, malam ni episod akhir huhuhu.......)

ataupun program komedi

 

 atau reality show

BILA KITA RASA KECEWA DAN PUTUS ASA, INGATLAH BAHAWA ADA ORANG LAIN YG LEBIH SUSAH ATAU MENGHADAPI MASALAH LEBIH BESAR DARI KITA.

OLEH SEBAB ITU KITA PATUT REDHA DENGAN DUGAAN INI DAN PERCAYA PASTI ADA HIKMAHNYA.
KEEP ON GOING AND LIVE YOUR LIFE (NOT LEAVE OR TAKE YOUR LIFE ;) )

KITA PATUT BERSYUKUR DENGAN SEGALA PELUANG DAN NIKMAT YANG KITA DAPAT.

 UNTUK RASA GEMBIRA DAN BAHAGIA, KITA PATUT BERSYUKUR...
BUKANNYA BILA KITA GEMBIRA, BARU KITA BERSYUKUR........... 


p/s: Jangan terkejut dengan entri meroyan..pepaham je la bila waktu PMS :P

Bila rasa DOWN, jom MAKAN

 Warning: This is really long entry for cerita basi............

Haritukan aku dah cakap...aku ni cepat berubah fikiran. Kejap nak buat drug molecule project, bila rasa susah and simulation pun tak berjaya, tukar pulak nak buat projek lain. The initial result for that other project seems ok. Tapi macam tak cukup pulak for thesis and journal article. So, I have to study it behaviour which right from the start I rasa tak realistic since I neglect certain term. But I just proceed, kononnya nak buat kerja sampai habis. Unfortunately one day before Good friday April the 6th, my result macam hampeh...graph patut smooth, tapi yg aku dapat not only oscillates but discontinuous too. Of course I have to check everything right from the start.

Tak kuasa nak stress dengan project tu, I thought just forget it for a while. Actually, I am not confident with my current project. So I think it is better if I have the back up plan by using the drug molecule that I have abandoned last time due to complicated model. So on Easter saturday 7th April, I read and understand the article that used the similar structure as the drug molecule, but of course as usual my drug molecule got extra parameters :(......

On sunday morning, I managed to understand the basic of their model. But later, I had difficulty in getting half of the term as in their model. So, I sent email to that author which is actually my group member who are now working in Singapore. I felt lil bit regret for not reading the article properly while he was here..:(..........

TuesdayI checked programming code for my current. I noticed typo error as well as the order of the equation.
Wednesday
I made correction for my programming code and checking the derivation of the general model as well as specific model for atoms.

On Thursday-April the 12th,
Sambil mengadap lunch
   

I read my email which actually I just noticed it even though I received it the day before.....

We have received the referee reports for your manuscript......................As you can see, the referees have requested some revisions.
Please revise the manuscript taking the referees remarks into account.
To avoid misunderstandings it will be helpful if you provide a detailed response to the referee reports.............
COMMENTS FOR THE AUTHOR:

Reviewer #2: The authors present a theoretical approach to the study ..... The investigation of ..... certainly interesting for a broad range of technological applications, and the science underlying their mechanics and transport capabilities remain poorly understood. Hence, the study presented is of great interest. However, there are several technical issues that need to be clarified before the paper can be recommended for publication:

1. Authors should perhaps clarify whether the approach presented is novel, since it has been previously employed to study ..............

2. The validity of the assumption that the ......... are negligible in...... is not clear. .........
................................
The authors do not present adequate proof that the assumption can be made for a..........
Some clarification on this issue is needed to assess the reliability of the approach, as well as its general applicability.

3. ........... making the assumption of neglecting ...... highly questionable. Given these considerations, it is recommended that the authors provide further justification for the applicability of this approach to ..............

4. According to the discussion in the paper, it seems .................
This is surprising, since ...............
This is a concern, since the configurations presented in the manuscript may not be .............
Perhaps experimental structures may give insight into what may be a representative configuration.....
Authors should discuss this further and make revisions if necessary.

Tak mau sedih2, aku malas nak baca my paper again. Aku focus on my current project.

On friday the 13th, 

Aku bawak bekal fettucine with creamy tuna sauce...

Baru aku balas email the editor and tanya bila due date for revision. So it will be on 23 May 2012. Another one month............Hmm how should juggle between writing thesis, doing current project and making revision :(........Bila check my current project still ada problem jugak. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............

So petang tu aku pi city, makan ayam goreng dan balik jalan kaki sambil menikmati pemandangan suasana senja di tepi laut

 

Ok dah nampak mega jingga....ayuh cepat2 balik...............

 

 

Balik rumah lepas solat, sambung makan lagi. Tetiba rasa nak baking....hmm tart nenas. Guna setengah adunan recipe dari blog kak jee. Jem nenas aku buat guna pineapple slices in can, 2-3 days before. Curah nenas+airnya+1/2 tsp cinnamom, caster sugar 3 tbs, 3 tbs brown sugar. Bila jem nampak pekat tapi masih tak hancur aku tambah air. Sambil kacau, sambil aku tekan kasi hancur...Tu la malas nak blend...Hehhee..aku tak reti guna tart mould, aku guna garfu kasi corak. lepas tu dah malas, aku tekan lenyek guna jari je..............Jangan gelak..first time tau buat tart nih

 Tengoklah jem yang kasar berserat hehhee..tapi totap sodap

Hari Sabtu

Aku pi uni. Takde mood nak buat kerja sangat. Hehehe aku pi upload gambar and buat draft previous 2-3 entries...For dinner, my german hmate ajak kami join makan her pumpkin soup n philipino hmate punya cheese cake...........Konon nak tengok Reese wither spoon in walk the line, 3 hours movie. aku tengok sampai 10pm. Ingat nak tido. Tapi aku pi install the software. Aku pi buat simulation for the model from two references for my current project. Tapi my result was not accurate and I stayed up until 2.30am.............

Hari Ahad -15/4 konon aku nak pi uni jugak. Malas pulak heheh.........So, basuh baju, kemas bilik and my duty to vacuum clean the common area upstairs, stairs and downstairs as well as mop the kitchen floor. Ada sesape nak perkhidmatan tukang cuci ;))).

Haritu macam rajin pulak ngaji banyak kali. Tetiba sebak bila baca surah al Araaf ayat 55:

Berdoalah kepada Tuhanmu dengan berendah diri dan suara yang lembut. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai orang-orang yang melampaui batas.

Yelah siapa tak sebak, bila selama ni memang tak sedar diri dahlah jarang baca al-Quran. Bila ada masalah, baru nak kerap baca. Tu pun on off. Selama ni berdoa pun tak sungguh-sungguh, walaupun ada masalah besar.

For early dinner I cooked prawn+bitter melon(kambas)

Malam tu tengok Avatar. That was 2009 movie, hmmm I only watched after nearly 3 years. Baru 1/2 jam, my Iranian friend datang. Hish..orang dah habis phd pun ada masalah juagk. Kesian jugak, dia stress cari kerja. Spv dia pun tak nak ambil dia jadi research assistant/officer. Dah register for job online pun tiada yg panggil. Dia kata in OZ, nurse got high demand. So sesape nak berhijrah ke OZ, sila la apply jadi nurse. Malam tu dapat idea pasal current project

Monday -16/4
 After nearly 3 years, akhirnya tertunai hasrat di hati pi Health/Recreation Centre. I joined the body balance class during lunch hour. It's the combination of yoga and pilates. I found it too slow. After class dah habis..ada sesi sambungan. Aku ingat kami kena baring sambil meditasi...So aku just lelap mata je la. Lansung tak dengar movement orang lain. Bila rasa dah lama sangat baru aku bukak mata, aku tengok depa semua ada buat pergerakan hehehe. Mesti instructot tu gelak tengok aku terlentang tido hahhaha.........Then balik ofis, lunch lauk prawn n buat apa yg patut.

Petang tu aku pi aerobic class yg fokus BAT-buttock, abdoment n torso. Hah ko. Memula aerobic high intense...Lepas tu lari in circle. Then stop each station ada pergerakan tertentu...Lepas tu squat, sakit lutut. Bila lompat and landing lemah lutut. Ada jugak ala2 sit up, then gigil2 nak angkat kaki. Padan muka aku, body balance slow sangat kononnya, BAT pulak boleh pitam o. Then, sebelum balik opis kena mandi la..peluh sakan....

Balik opis, I try on the idea that I got the previous nite. Tapi, tak dapat jugak..............So email spv, bagitau my problem n bagitau nak jumpa wed or thursday. Malam tu makan tahu bakar+kanda punya kuah kacang. Hah ko..sebelum tido... pakai yoko-yoko yg expired...........

Tuesday,
My body hurt everywhere.........
Masak bekal...........suhun.

 

Tapi tengok gelap n hujan. So my lunch pack became my breakfast. Then, cari bahan tukar projek-ada dua bahan, satu start with Cob..., satu start with Dia.... Try buat simulation for Cob with more popular structure. Macam good agreement dari segi properties, cuma tak sure dari segi optimum value............... Actually masa cari bahan for Cob, terjumpa article by senior yg dah pi Singapore. Macam menarik...cuba fahamkan model dia, aku tak faham2. Again I slept at 2am...........

Wednesday,
Aku dok ngadap article tu sampai 7pm. I hardly went out from my room except to cook and go to toilet. Terukkan. Ni semua gara2 aku salah tengok figure yg aku dah tengok berpuluh kali since the day before...Only after 6pm I got the term right. Cuma later sekali lagi macam tak dapat as in their model after manipulation..........

Aku tak pi uni coz hujan..I cooked suhun lagi.

 

 Hari2 makan tauhu, sampai dah rasa macam tauhu pulak. Yelah, sabtu makan tauhu goreng kanda. Isnin makan tauhu bakar. Selasa makan tauhu dalah suhun goreng, Rabu makan sup tauhu suhun. Bila kami tengok Titanic series, kanda kata their life jackets macam tauhu hehhee.......Then, malam tu cari bahan for latest project, selain new refereence for thesis. I sleep after 2am........


Thursday 19/4
 I went to see my spv at 10am. First we discussed about my current project. The first part was ok. But I got problem with the second part. She argued why I want to that second part which of course study the behavior. Hmm she forgot that she was the one who suggested that part. She reminded me to check the size of the molecule. Logically the molecule will fit into our model. She also suggested to me to study the position of the molecule in the structure before study its behavior. I should also check whether the inner properties of the structure is the same as in the reference even though I didn't use the same structures. I also told her maybe I should try to model the molecule as cone instead of sphere since the previous nite when I read the article the image look more like horn. So she asked to read my senior thesis who has done something similar.

Then we discussed about my paper that need major revision. Hmm, I should add the term that I neglect. Add more term meaning need more time to read, understand, build the model, computer coding bla bla........Again my spv asked me to find the article written by my senior. Hmm...she just published that paper this year even though she has graduated on 2008. My spv asked me to focus on this paper first since it kinda like major contribution to my thesis. That new project, I may use after finishing my studies or if time permitted I can also include in my thesis.

Talking about my thesis...my spv kinda surprised to hear that i only got 4 months left. She thought that I will extend my studies. Actually currently I am in that extension period :(.............If possible she want me to stay longer, maybe I can apply for fee waive but who is going to pay my living allowance. Just imagine all this while most of the living allowance goes to accomodation fee. How I gonna survive without it..............

Feeling down with all these, I totally forgot to tell her about the work that I done on tuesday, which is study the more popular structure where my result is in good aggreement with LR. Well, she may not agree since her area of interest more for biological structures.

So stress...pi beli beef rogan josh. and ngadap juga my M&M.............

 

I went to Health centre again...This time I wanted to try the exercise equipment. So I used the free voucher. So the instructor showed me around the centre as well as how to use the cardio machine and the safety locker. I preferred to use the bicycle and elliptical machine compared to tread mill. 20mins cycle-15min elliptical-20mins cycle. I burned around 140 calories ;)..............

Friday-20th April

For lunch, ayam tak garing goreng kunyit hehehhe..

 

Petang tu pi city beli groceries. For dinner, teringin nak makan roti john...guna telur je la....

 

If you read this meaning that you really have patience reading this entry...clap clap for you ;))........

Five words on Wednesday...............

Anzac Day CUTI and sejuksssssssss...............