Macam terhegeh-hegeh ...

Due to something happened on 3/08/2017, I feel really upset but at the same time I feel happy because finally it is over. I feel upset because I just knew it from my friend's screen shot and it is not as what we have discussed. After all I have done, finally they treated me like that????

 I can't focus while driving to the hotel by using waze as a guide. Alhamdulillah I safely arrived. At the reception no matter how shocked I am with the hotel rate and beyond my budget...I just checked in because I am too tired to find another hotel and really need a rest to calm me down.

 I can't believe that the relevant officer just ignore my messages...I was really stressed. I called my boss secretary but she didnt pick my call either her office number or private number. So, I called the HR department. Guess what ??? they never got an updated version of the memo. Hmm miscomunication at our unit????

 Then on friday I rushed driving back in the heavy rain to the office to ensure I arrive while it is still office hour. Once I arrived, there was no letter about my status either in pigeon hole or at the clerk.

I went to see the officer and asked what has happened. He said that the new appointment is depend on the admin office. But I said that I have called the HR department and heard their side of stories. They didnt receive the latest memo. If they receive any new memo or by phone message they will definitely discuss with their senior officer.

 I just uttered everything that I wanna say. I feel ashamed with everyone..how I gonna hide my face because for certain period of time I just asked them to do many things even though I am nobody due that email. That email was not proper as well. There even friend texted me to know what exactly happened.

 I just could not hold my tears. I know it is not profesional but I have been keeping it for two days....

He seems shocked and guilty. He even asked what can he do the clear the damage? He offered to send email to everyone and explain something. But that was not exactly happened that I have to remind him everything. I am the one who played the role, who took the iniatitive by contacting the HR previously and suggested somebody else to take over my task.

 But unfortunately what has happened really humiliatwd me and I feel ..persecuted. I really sincere to help them and do not expect any payment but at least give me some consideration on what I have done for the past 3 weeks...went home late, didnt go out at all during weekend to make plan etc...Is it fair for me? And not only that someone got all the credit and payment even though he didnt do anything.

 He suggested to write an internal memo regarding my status. I just be firmed and rejected his suggestion. I asked for the memo from the administrative office. When he asked about the date and period...then only I knew that he didnt do anything about me even though we have discussed via whatsapp or phone. Tak faham ropenyer or sengaja tak nak buat.

 And today I sent an email to him and my boss regarding this issue and hoping for their consideration for many reason especially when it come to management procedure. This time around I ensure there is black and white and make sure they do understand my intention with clear explanation.

But the drawback now it seems that I am bad, demanding and be calculative. Once I sent the email to them, I sent whatsapp message to the boss as well to remind him about the emel. Guess what! He didnt reply my message 😭😭😭....Definitely I feel ashamed, humiliated, dissapointed and sad....macam terhegeh-hegeh dan hadap sangat dgn the position. Well..if they just ignoring me and denying my right now...so please remember the hereafter.

 OK..STOP.
STOP THINKING ABOUT IT
I will try to practise what DI did...to be grateful in advanced.
O..Allah...
I feel grateful for the boss and the officer read my email, understood my situation and make neccessary actions
 I feel grateful for getting the memo regarding my status as what it supposed to be from the administrative office this week.
I feel grateful that I can clear my name.

 I have done everything that I could to fight for my right and to avoid any issue in the future. At least I have no regret for trying. If thing still happened not as what I expected than I have to be strong, accept it, let it go and move on.