Zombie life

For the past few weeks

I guess I was living like a zombie

All concerning my work

Dealing with many types of customers

Rushing to deadlines

Outstation etc

To make matter worst due to my perfectionist personality 🤦‍♀️

Regardless of long list of things to do

And around the corner deadlines

Confusion of which task to complete first

Suddenly I went for hybernation last weekend

Doing nothing except eating and watching kdrama Eve 🤦‍♀️😅

But on monday morning 

I became so worried with the piles of tasks

And almost did not want to wake up.

But, finally I overcame it

When I arrived at work 

Again I did not know which task that I should do first....

But when it comes to gossipinh and  food laju pulak 🤣.

My colleague told me that she made me as the example to justify her concern during a meeting

However I was kinda annoy 

When certain of what she listed concerning me

Was Not really true

And may lead to misinterpreted by others

But...thing has passed

Couldn't be rewind

So I have to train myself 

Not to overthinking

And let go of things that I can't control

So i bought the following food for lunch

Nasi campur lauk asam pedas ikan+bende goreng+taugeh+sambal belacan

And jambu+asam kawan belanja

Unfortunately around 2pm

One of the organizer for the external workshop

complained that I did not complete my claim form

and did not provide my ID photocopy and payroll slip 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Once settled with this claim thingy

I have to check my junior customers task

Dah komen dan ada contoh pun salah 😡😅

Sabau je la

Then I was so shocked to see my attendance record

Not again ...

The outstation was not recorded

Not enough working hours etc...

Maybe due to system error my reasons were not submitted 

I went to town to buy stationery, food for dinner and raya cookies

Unfortunately, only the banner of raya cookies still available 🤣🤣🤣

And the stationery shop closed early

I had a small bowl of soto+a quarter plate of nasi goreng+laici kang for dinner

Unfortunately, around 3-4am I got stomache

And went to the toilet several times

Today I had mcd pie apple for brekky

And this food for lunch

Unfortunately...I had stomache again atound 8pm 

What is wrong with me?

I was afraid to had dinner

But I was so hungry

I ended up having 2 packets of biscuits+hot peaches tea

High calorie but not satisfying my hunger 🤦‍♀️😅

This one whole day

I was kinda had mental block

while checking and editing my jaws customer's document

I only submitted the latest version to her at about 9.50pm

Kinda dissapointed when certain people just doing their work rushingly and not properly

Additionaly, when she hardly listen to my suggestion 

I wonder how can she do something that require at least a month in just one day

Bubur lambuk berhias

Semalam kalut nak pi ofis

Semasa dah masuk ke perkarangan tempat kerja

Baru sedar saya tertinggal cermin mata

Nak patah balik malas

Lagipun dah lewat

Padanlah muka ...

Kabur nak hadap laptop

Sakit kepala kerana memaksa diri

Tapi tulah...

Kerja gerak sikit je

Tapi mulut gerak dari 1-4pm

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😅....

Kalut balik solat

Then kalut juga balik dari ofis

Nearly 7pm

Masuk tempeh dalam air fyer

Potong and rendam brocoli

Reheat sambal hitam dalam microwave

Aik...awat sambal mcm kekal bentuk

Biasa tak sampai 20 saat dah panas

Adoi rosaklah tu...

Ni mesti gara2 masak nasi guna mv haritu

Dah la my gas stove dah tak berfungsi

Terpaksa guna electric cooker

Celur brocoli

Reheat bubur lambuk

Reheat sambal...

Buka Danmuji

Nah siap bubur lambuk berhias

Anyway

Moral of the story for yesterday

Jangan mudah bersangka2

Jangan mudah kecil hati

Orang tak ajak

Rupa-rupanya orang tolong ambilkan

For today

Long list of things to do

Kalut print itu ini

Sempat dengar kisah si ibu yg tiada mood beraya

Beraya seorang diri buat pertama kali 😢

Atau balik ke kampung menumpang saudara

Anak tunggal akan beraya di rumah mertua

Jiran pula tiba2 tidak bertegur sapa

Kesian kan...

Sebab tu kita yang mendengar ni

Patut bersyukur with what we have

Dan doakan baik2 utk org yg begini

My colleague suddenly shared her voice note material

I searched for other material

And shared with her

Sharing is caring 😁

Together we are stronger

Then I downloaded my customers' documents

I am really worry about my laptop capacity

Only 3.2gb left...

While I was struggling to complete my list of things to do

My colleague reminded me to check her customer's project 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

As what I have planned the day before

I totally forgotten about it

While I was rushing with the checking task

My biskut raya supplier came to deliver my order

Then another biskut raya supplier sent me a message 

that I can pick up my order at the main office at 4.15pm 

Oh! NO!! 😱😱😱

still a lot to check

Alhamdulillah I done submit it by 4.20pm

Then I drove hurriedly to the main office

Oh! NO!!!

Where is my supplier office

I went to a different building

To make matter worst she neither reply my messages

Nor pick up my call

I had to call another friend

🤣🤣🤣

Since when did they relocate to another building???

Biskut raya is biskut raya

I missed my friends here

My ex housemates

Short meeting 

But very meaningful

Yes...we need to held a reunion

Then I went back to my office

Uploading files and reorganizing them in the new folder

Then shared them with my customer

Next I went to shop lot

Unfortunately the matcha tea is gone 😭😭

Went to speedmart to buy almond milk

Still no stock 😭😭😭

went back home

Reheat the leftover rice

Reheat sambal jawa

Reheat ayam masak kicap, add on black pepper sauce and brocoli

Went back to office

Broke my fasting

With the dates and grass jelly drink 😅 in my car

Then rushed back home

To have to reheat leftover food...

After tarawih 

I had 3 pieces raya cookies

While typing this post

I had oreo ice cream

Terpengaruh nampak org beli minggu lepas 🤣🤣🤣

Just throw your toxic ego

It is not easy to let go

When someone said improper words

When I told him it is not ok to do so

When it really hurt my feeling

When there was tears in my eyes

When other people shock to read the words as well

When I left the group

When I left a big task that can contributes to many people

It is not easy to let go

When someone did not want to apologize

Just ignore it like nothing happen

When several colleagues have advised him to do so

It is not easy to let go

When I had given the reminder generally in the meeting about attitude, manners and stealing others' work

When someone purposely share something about defamation in the social media?

Why suddenly share that kind of article

Why be triggered like that if he did nothing wrong

For what?

To remind me?

To threaten me?

To make me worry?

It is not easy to let go

When other people tried to advise him to just apologize

But he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

It is not easy let go

When other people told me he also updated a status regarding this issue

And that status can be seen by the colleagues as well

What is the purpose?

To gain sympathy and support?

To make me read it

But hello I never read anyone status 🤣🤣

It is not easy to let go

When other people has also tried to advise him to just apologize

But again he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

If he think his words were not wrong

Ok...I will try to accept that.

But how about he knew that his words hurt  my feeling?

So why he still do not want to apologize?

Rude, ego, arrogant, trying to threaten me and make a fuss in social media

He did not respect me

Only select certain people to be nice

Did not walk the talk

When he involves in the task about manners 😅

He just works here for less than 3 months

See...this kinda attitude from new people

How about later?

Due to him

I feel unhappy to work here

No motivation anymore...

Not only me...

There are others who feel the same

Again ....Due to his attitude

Stealing other people hard work

Admit his mistake to the third party

But never apologise to the one involve

Act like nothing happen

And I know that...

Whatever that colleague and I feel

He feels it too...

The negative energy will bounce back to him

Moreover I always hope that he will be always kept away from me and my work place🤲🤲🤲

I imagine and believe that it gonna be happen on one fine day 

Can't wait for that moment

My dear friend also pray for the best for me

Last year 

One of my colleague told me that ...

He felt like not feeling calm

He wanna resign from work

Glad to hear that

But his family objected to that

But...hmm...still here

Today

Another colleague told me

He feel like wanna resign

Due to the tiring trip

Need to focus with his bussiness

But he is a bit heavy hearted when thinking about service duration ...

So you see...

Moral of the story...

Life is a cycle...

What you give you get back

Never ever makes other people unhappy

Due to our words and attitude...

If you hurt people feeling

Apologise !!!

You will never be calm unless you apologise..

As for me

As what the speaker said

Do not ever put hope

Or expect things to happen as what we wanna it to be

So I should let it go

Try to be forgiven

Even though he never apologise

But...

For time being 

I can't do so...

I am really deeply hurt

I still remember how miserable I was last year

Planning to take a long leave

Or just to resign...

But I kinda of SEDAR DIRI

Banyak hutang lagi 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Moreover one of the senior had reminded me

Rugilah....

The feeling of wanna die

But SEDAR DIRI

Dosa banyak 😅😅😅

Bekalan pun tak cukup lagi

Banyak lompang sana sini

Certain people may think

Why is it so hard to let go?

This is very small matter

Why let this some one ruining me?

Well...

We will never understand certain thing

Until we are in that people shoes...

Serabut

I tengah serabut

Weekend pun buat kerja

Dah tak tahu nk buat yg mana dulu

Ada 2 perkara yg due datenya sama 😭😭

Yang first tu

Mana nak check more than 15 documents

Ni baru 2.5 docs done 😭😭

Mana nak kejar the MIA customer

Yg second tu pulak

Perlu write two reports

Both perlu ada hasil analisis data from many aspects

Masalahnya how to get the result when the data incomplete

So perlu collect the new data

To get them I need to prepare a new set of document

Maka tadi strugglelah membuatnya from 11++ to 3.45pm

Lewatlah baru dapat mandi and solat

Dah solat asar semua barulah makan

Tapi merapulah

Sundae strawberry, leftover fried mushroom

Bubur pulut hitam gak

Lepas tu bising makin bulat 😅🤣

Sambil tu dok tengok Thai drama

Hui Jia Sila

Sambung dari ep 25

Tertengok pulak till ep26

Konon nak rehatkan minda sat

Tapi makin serabut 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Habih tu makin sakit hati lah pulak

Apa ke bengongnya cerita

Dah tau ada musuh

Tapi bodyguard tak bawa

Kalau bawa pun sikit

Lepas tu lemah 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Dah tau orang tu jahat

Lagilah nk pi jumpa nak cari info

Konon nak tolong husband

Lagilah menyusahkan husband

Dah tau org cari

Lagi nak selamba muncul

Dah tau kakak tu jahat

Nak juga dikejar2

Maka jadilah mangsa perangkap

Dah tau ada orang bertempur

Boleh pulak polis kot tggu dari jauh je 🤣🤣🤣

Awatlah tak pi serbu

Dah tau ada the girl cedera

Suruhlah somebody jaga dia di kenderaan

Yang pi ikut buru musuh tu apahal 🤣🤣🤣

Lepas tu kan dah kena tembak dgn makcik jahat 🤦‍♀️

Yg polis dlm cerita tu pun lembab

Boleh pulak biar makcik tu tembak the girl

Lepas tu makcik tu boleh pulak rampas bom 

Ke gas pemedih mata

So dapatlah larikan diri

Dah tercedera sana sini 

Pun lolos dari hutan 🤣🤣🤣

Eh! Ada lagi

Awatlah tak boleh perbualan telefon makcik dan adiknya 🤣🤣🤣

Yg aku pun sama

Dah tau cerita mengarut

Pi teruskan tonton dah kenapa

🤔🤔🤔😅😅

Serve me right 😅

This morning 

I ran amok with my bilis customers

So tiring doing the same activity for 4 weeks

But today still can't perform well

Still could not justify certain things

No matter how I have been guiding 

and repeating for numerous time

Hmm...could not be bother

Hmm...no common sense

Hmm...no sense of responsibility

Hmm..never learnt their lesson

Lack of courtesy of saying thanks 

And apologising as well

😡😡😡

Then due to covid19 current situation

I have to modify the project for my tamban customers

I tried to get the idea by surfing the internet yesterday and last nite

So this morning I created my own version

Alhamdulillah it was done by 1.25pm

Then I went to buy food for lunch

I have to wait for nearly 5 minutes before the restaurant opened

Long but kinda fast queue

But I did not understand

When people forgot about social distancing

Tersentuh2 badan

Pulak tu terbatuk2 🤦‍♀️😡

Anyway here are my menu

Ada gulai ayam, daging goreng, sambal udang petai dan sambal terung....

Total damaged was RM30

I kept half of the chicken

and most of the sambal petai

Since I have been craving for sundae choc

For more than a week

So I became tamak 🤣🤣🤣

Did you see that new green tea latte???

Semua nak ek 🤦‍♀️😅😁🤣

While I was queuing for McD drive through

One of my tamban customers made a complaint

The guys refused to join them

Hmm...it is ok...

For those who refuse to do so 

let me sort the members

And that reminded me of my cencaru customer

I have to contact her once again

Regardless of many reminders

chances and help that I have given

But still she never learnt

Insaf sekejap

Buat hal lagi

Memang tak sedar diri...

So whatever the consequence is her own choice

I have done my part...

After lunch

I sorted the tamban customers

See...

Due to attitude problem

I have to waste my time just to do the sorting

Bila dah pekena green tea latte

Disusuli dengan sundae choc

Hah! Serve me right

Sakit dan berat kepala

Susah nafas

My mind is haywire....

I tried to overcome it

The work must be done

Tonite is the so called deadline

So unfair coz the actual deadline is another 3 days

Just because this certain people

Do not want to deal with any appeal

Just because they wanna taking care of their reputation

Is this following the procedure?

Conduct a meeting before everything is finalised

Where is the integrity?

If they do not want to have the integrity

Up to them...

But why drag us together?

I downloaded the 7 project files

I downloaded the excel form file

But later I just gave up

I could not think straight

Sedang cari semangat nak sambung buat kerja

Tiba2 black out

Membebel la I sorang2 dalam rumah...

Adoi tak cakap awal2

Orang nak buat kerja

I jenguk keluar rumah

Nampak staf TNB

Encik lama ke?

Dalam setengah jam

Saya nak buat kerja

Lama ke?

Dalam setengah jam

Cepat sikit ya.

Saya nak buat kerja

Hah! Nampak sangat dah haywire 😅

Ulang2 tanya soalan

Luckily the tnb staff manis orangnya 😅🤣

But janji palsu

Setengah jam kononnya

But dah 1 jam no progress

Dah la rumah gelap dan panas

Hati pun panas...

Hello not only org nak buat kerja

Nak maghrib wei...

Hah!!! Elok je azan maghrib...

Alhamdulillah settle dah...

Tak bincang

Bermula semalam I kurang sihat

Tekak tak selesa dan suara serak

Rasa nak demam

So ambil panadol je

Pagi tadi mula ada stuffy nose

But masih boleh buat stir fried veggies 😅

After brekky mula rasa nak demam

Rasa panas badan, sakit bhg mata dan sakit kepala

Alhamdulillah buat saliva test negatif

But still kena jaga2

But badan rasa lesu

Mengantuk pun ya.

Kiranya after brekky...

mcm seharian I terbaring

Kecuali bangun utk mandi, solat..

Ambil food dan makan

Ya walaupun tak sihat

I tetap berselera...

Petang and malam ok sikit

But malam fikiran terganggu

Kerana kerja lah...

How la certain team memandai buat perubahan

Tanpa bincang dengan semua

Tanpa di bawa ke mesyuarat

Yes...saya hargai tugas dan usaha mereka

Saya pun tak larat nk pegang tugas tu

Apa masalah dengan prosedur lama?

Apa rasional buat perubahan?

Mereka boleh pilih sendiri?

Adilkah konsep first come first serve ?

dalam konteks tempat kami?

Of courselah mereka pilih yg mereka kenal

Yg nampak hebat dan baik utk mereka

So adilkah untuk kami?

Yg tak dikenali?

Or mungkin mereka tak suka cara kami

Eh kami boleh pilih mereka juga???

Boleh pilih lebih awal?

Dah tu how kami nak pilih?

kami pun tak kenal mereka

Adilkah???

So end up kami yg tak dikenali

Tak jadi pilihan mereka

Dan mereka yg bagus pula telah dirembat

Maka tinggallah yg bermasalah untuk kami

See...

..inilah bila team yg memandai2

Lagi2 bila ada ahli2 yg baru

Konon nk buat perubahan

Tapi lupa konsep keadilan 

Dan ahli2 baru ni 

Memang byk idea yg konon nak memudahkan

Tapi ikut pengalaman...hmmm

Ada yg buat borang 

tapi makin mengelirukan

Ni bukan i kata but org lain kata

Ada yg cadang guna dokumen sama

Tapi tak betul dari segi prosedur

Ada yg konon nak bincang

Tapi rupanya bincg depan customer

Memalukan coz nmpk kami tak sepakat

Eh banyaklah....

Tu belum cerita masalah attitude

I terpaksa dump my nagging here 😅

By writing it...

Habih tu...to whom may I talk to?

I called my friend lambat pick up...

Bila pick up..ada bunyi dan mcm terputus

Tapi tak call semula

Whatsapp tak reply...

Sedih...kecewa...

When I am in need

People could not be bother

Tapi when they in need 

I always lend my ears 

Tak kisahlah I sibuk or not

Bukan 5 minit...

Tapi biasanya antara 30 minit-2 jam

Lebih 2 jam pun ada....

Eh!membebel ni macam org sihat pulak kan....

Bersungguh-sungguh

Adakalanya kita dah usaha

Buat sungguh-sungguh

Sedaya upaya

Kita dah komen, minta buat pembetulan dan beri cadangan

Orang buat tak tahu

Kita dah minta siapkan supaya kelak tak timbul masalah

Orang masih buat tak tahu

Terpaksa buat mesyuarat awal

Bila minta mereka bentangkan

Seperti dijangka umpama tak baca komen

Terpaksa komen lagi

Kita dah senaraikan tindakan perlu dibuat

Masih ada buat tak tahu

Kita dah minta update progres masing2

Masih ada buat tak tahu

Udah kita pula macam personal assistant mereka

Semua benda nak diingatkan

Dah diingatkan semula beberapa kali

Masih ada buat tak tahu

Mesyuarat kedua

Ada yg masih sama

Entah apa penambahbaikan yg dibuat

Ulang lagi komen

Dah beri template 

Ada yg masih silap

Dah beri contoh

Ada yg tak ikut

Tak cukup mesyuarat, peringatan whatsapp

Buat panggilan telefon juga

Tapi ada yg masih tak nampak

Degil pun you juga kot

Ke nak protes?

Ulang lagi komen

Masa makin suntuk

Masih ada yg buat tak tahu

Kita pula yg risau

Mereka masih selamba

Gunung berapi dah byk kali meletus

Eh! Badak pun tak seselamba ini

Daun keladi pun kalau dilanda badai selalu

Lama2 takung air juga

Bila badak dah kurang selamba

Nampak insaf sikit

Suruh hantar segera

E...eh...dia buat hal semula

Ok...fine...

I had enough of this kinda people

I let you go...

Buang masa kejar...

Badak yg masih tak sedar diri

Bila banyak isu

Bos besar minta kami sampaikan

Hello! Jangan senyap

Siapkan segera

Tapi mereka tetap selamba

Kita yg terhegeh2 pula

Ok...kita jumpa depan2...

Apa masalah?

Nak buat macam mana?

Cuba demonstrate...

What if ......

Suppose begini bukan begitu

Adoilah...ni projek siapa ni

Mereka atau kita?

Sebagai langkah berjaga2

Buat akuan janji

Minta kongsi dengan team...

Yg itupun nak kena remind utk dikongsikan...

Tibalah masa

Buat kuasa veto

Kita jumpa lagi...

Praktis, semak, bincang, baiki

Berkorban seharian pagi ke malam

Dah diingatkan

Baiki itu ini

Get ready itu

Fahamkan yg ini

Tak yakin jgn letak

Sometimes less is more...

Bila tiba masanya....

La...bukankah dah minta get ready ini

La...bukankah dah kata tak yakin jgn letak

Hmm...jadi daun keladi lagi

Semua yg dijangka mmg muncul

Terkilan dengan mereka

Kesal juga dengan diri sendiri

Dah terfikir jgn letak something

Tapi I just ignore it

Dah terfikir mungkin timbul isu tentang carta alir

Tapi I tak larat nak baiki

Risau yg lain keliru pula

Lagipun sendiri pun tak pasti...

Bila tengok hasil

Atau bandingkan dengan team lain

Mcm sia2 pula usaha dan pengorbanan

Ada yg tak praktis hanya discuss

Ada yg tak discuss lansung

Tetap team cemerlang....

Lagi terkilan...

Prestasi team makin merosot

2020 ...the unexpected 3

2021....two 

2021....one only

Whateverlah kan...

The most important thing

I know that I have done my best

If the team members could not mantain the performance

It does not mean that their performance is not good

It just others are better than them in that aspect

That is life...

Accept it...

Smile...

Move on 💪💪...

Refleks diri

Buat untuk apa dan siapa?

Friday nagging...

Bila emosi masih terganggu

Kerja pula banyak

Long list of things to do

Nak semak itu ini

Nak buat laporan itu ini

Tapi banyak perkara tak selesai

Jadi tertangguh

Sukar dipantau

Due to certain party yg byk songeh

Dia lagi besar dari big big boss 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Benda boleh settle sehari

Jadi hampir 45 hari

Sikit2 nak memo

Org biasa2 tak boleh hantar memo

Nak emel satu persatu bagi setiap task

Tak mau emel yg ada senarai task 😡

Masalahnya ko selamba terlepas pandang email

Nak isi borang itu ini

Nak lengkapkan fail itu ini

Nak muatnaik bahan itu ini

Nak update bahan itu ini

Nak sediakan bahan itu ini

Nak kejar customer itu ini

Rumah macam tongkang pecah

Tanaman kuning melayu kekeringan

Tadi semasa proses semakan 

Ternampak sesuatu dalam sistem

Ini tak boleh jadi

Biasa perlu hadap 1-2 sahaja

Kenapa kali ini 3

Ini tidak adil !!!

Bila ditanya pada leader

Dia pun terkejut

Coz senarai yg dia buat lain

So bagaimana senarai dalam sistem berbeza?

Bila ditanya kepada boss

Bagaimana boleh jadi gitu?

Bunyi macam benda kecik

Oklah jika as dummy temporarily

But still kena fikir risiko dan kesan to me

Nanti my work schedule pasti kacau bilau lagi

Yg sekarang ni pun masih tak selesai

So it is better to settle everyrhing at the early stage

To avoid the same thing happen again

But a bit dissappointed with the boss

Bila ditanya siapa yg masukkan dalam sistem

Coz ikut pengalaman, unit kamilah yg masukkan

In fact during my time...

I was the one who keyed in everything in the system

Dengan yakinnya dia menjawab pihak lain 😅

But when I asked the unit clerk

Definitely she was the one who keyed in it 🤣🤣

How come the boss did not know about it 😅

Moreover, later the leader called me

She actually have forgotten that she asked the clerk to put my name 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

Moral of the story

If you feel you are treated unfairly

Then you should make an enquiry

No harm in informing and asking

But....hello

If you aren't sure of certain things

Just try to get the fact right

Before you telling incorrect things 🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes we think highly of certain people

But they also normal human

....not perfect 😊😁

Well that is life

And we should have the strong courage

To tell them that they are wrong 😁

Tamak dan Kroni

 Masing-masing punya misi

Terpulang nak merangkak atau berlari

Tapi kenapa perlu tamak

Berilah peluang pada yg lebih berhak

Biasanya mereka ini sehingga 3 fasa

Malah ada tangganya 

Anda baru lagi

Kenapa nk lompat anak tangga?

Tunjukkan potensi

Yang kini pun hanya arah sana sini

Orang lain yg tersiksa diri

Anda pula bebas buat itu ini

Sumber tambahan?

Tugas pihak luar?

Mungkin sebab tu selalu tak cukup

Terpaksa meminjam

Hmm macam biasa 

kan ada kroni...

Yg kini pun dapat berkabel

Yg baru pun lagi kuat kabel

Hmm macam biasa

Only talk no walk

But people see the talk

Seronokkah dapat cara itu?

Ada beza ya

Memohon dan ditawarkan

Kasihannya pada yg lama

Terkejut ...

Dapat tahu dari org kepochi

Belum rasmi tapi dah ada kecoh sana sini

Tsk dengki

Malah happy...

Tibalah masa untuk unit kami

Tetapi tetap kasihan 

Pada yg mengharap

Pada yg ada byk plan

Tetapi tetap risau

Apa nak jadi 

Jika hanya pandai bercakap

Bila nak insaf?

 Berat dah almost 63 kg?

Tapi nak jugak hadap scones 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

Tu for evening tea time

Ni nak dinner apa ek???

Lagi 1 jam nak menghadap episod akhir..

Apalagi?

Rindu Separuh nyawalah....

Kerja banyak 😭😭

Baru submit satu task

Datang lagi task lain

Due lagi 4 hari 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Update:

Hampagas betul....

Kunon episod akhir...

Rupanya bersambung 😡🤦‍♀️😅

Buat kerana siapa?

Last month we got a workshop at out place 

So I suggested for the use of foreign aspect

I even suggested to use two foreign aspects

But we can only add one aspect due to criteria limitation

Then we got another workshop outside

To ammend the proposal

Two of the team members discussed on how to arrange all aspects.

One of them have attended the first workshop

While the other have not attend

Suddenly the absent one said that the idea of  two foreign aspect came from the other member

Due to dissapointment I just said 

- wasn't it we have agreed for one aspect only

- I even suggested for two aspects but was not acceptable

It seems that other people got credit from my suggestion

Later my colleague presented our proposal

The big bog like the idea of foreign aspect very much

She even asked other group to embed our idea of foreign aspect

Guess what?

The one who absent from the first wshop kept on giving credit and praising to that other member for her idea

I really really dissapointed because she seemed to mock me

And the other one just kept quiet and didnt say that  the idea is actually from me

Bila mengadu dengan my friend

Katanya biarlah

Kita niat ikhlas kerana Allah

This week we got another workshop

So I prepared excel file to ease our calculation and shared with others

I even taught the coordinator on how to calculate and how to key distribute the data in the document

I am sure the coordinator taught others about it too

Yesterday she worried something about our proposal

Due to panel's comment

So I helped her in seing the key aspects 

And justify our proposal

So today the coordinator update our progress

When everyone thanked her

She only mentioned one person who helped her

Seriously?

Who am I to her?

What I can see here

Everyone is selfish

#They find us when they need us

#But they chose who they want to give credit

#And the people who are not suppose to get the credit just keep quiet 

and did not correct the mistake

Or explain the real situation

So how do I suppose to react?

If possible try to explain what is actually happen

Not to get the praise etc

But to fight for my right

If it not possible just accept whatever happen

And left the rest to Allah 

ANYTHING WE DO FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH

Tugas besar

Hari ini pi kerja sangat lewat
Bila sampai tempat kerja
Terkantoi dengan boss
"Ko dari mana"
"Ko baru sampai ke"
I pun tersipu malu 😅
"Ko ada kerja tak"
"Ada. Nak semak dokumen"
"Takpelah dah suruh si A dan B tolong"
"Nak buat apa boss, klu boleh saya cuba"
" kena pilih ...."
" Boleh je"

Wah! Biar betul ...
Tak sangka terlibat dalam tugas besar
Bidan terjun
Tapi tanggungjawab berat
First hand data
Tapi perlu tahu selection criteria
Definitely find the best rank
But priority the bc, the preference
Sangat jelas kaedahnya
Senang je la kan
Hide unwanted columns
Custom sort based on specific column
Dapatlah in one minute

Tiba2 yg sorang ni ckp
Eh yg the top ni low in other criteria
So nak buat camna?
So nak kena check long list one by one
And key in pula item kriteria tu satu2
Jenuh lah...
Eh!dah berapa jumlahnya?
Nak guna numbering excel tak boleh coz protected
Key in la satu2
Dah settle
Tiba2 yg tukang baca buat silap apatah🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Ulang lagi

Bila dah ada dua kriteria
Nak pilih mana
Kan dah kena marah dengan boss
Bukankah priority yg the top
Tu semua mmg dah lepas syarat
The second criteria tak perlu tengok 🤦‍♀️
Adoilah nilah akibatnya bila ada memandai2
Dan tak faham the whole process
So ikutlah priority
Just like what I have done previously
Eh!dah berapa jumlahnya?
How to confirm?
Pilah tanya the staff
Ada caranya
Bila tak cukup tambah je la
Alhamdulillah settled
But our one lunch hour gone

Then other task
Suppose do nothing
But we noticed intern ada buat silap
We have to redo
Tapi tak boleh proceed terus
No softcopy
Dah 2pm baru dapat
Terpaksa key in something utk mudah sort
Jenuh manually check and key in
Dah sort
Tapi data nmpk pelik
Mcm sorting satu column je
Column lain tak ikut
Takpelah ambil je fail asal
Tapi fail asal dah delete 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Key in semula
Pesan banyak kali SAVE la
Sort lagi
Kurang satu lagi
Perlu tengok semula fail asal
Seriously ??? Again?
Tak save lagi 😡😡😡
2 hours work gone ashtray
This second minah mmg jenis blur sejak dulu
Nasib baiklah ada common sense
Offer diri check manually
Dan tambah dlm list sendiri
Takkan kami nak ulang kali ke3
Hmm...adab ke laut
Muka selamba tak nampak guilty
Not a single word of apology

4.40 proceed with another task
Many things to consider
ie pertimbangan dan ihsan
We really clueless when the number not enough
Or something is very low
Have to cut paste here and there
Compare files
Search data
Repetitive work 😭😭😭
We called the boss several times
The boss also called us several times
He should submit this work by today
By 5.50 we decided to just list down till the lowest
And top it up with the highest rank from second list
We have done our best for 6 hours
So let the boss make the final decision
What a day 😅😅

But malu dengan boss kerja mudah je
Tpi slow
Memanglah renyah
Tapi bila ada member yg tak competent

Bila tak boleh terima kritikan...

Bila diamanahkan sesuatu tugas
Pastilah kita akan usahakan yg terbaik
Adakalanya kita bertanya hanya untuk menguji kefahaman
Dan bagaimana mereka menjawabnya...
Bukan maksudnya suruh ikut apa yang ditanya

Yang tak seronoknya bila tugas dah selesai
Macam2 pula yg didengari...
Bukan dari yg ditanya
Tapi dari sumber yg mendengar luahan pihak yang mengendalikan yang ditanya
Kononnya yg ada title ni bila bertanya macam nak tunjuk hebat
Walaupun sebenarnya tak tahu apa
Yang ditanya makin kelirulah

Jika boleh saya tak perlu fikir dah
Sebab dah lepas
Dan saya pun tiada title
Tapi saya ni pun termasuk golongan yg bertanya 🤣
Dan teringat2 pula
Coz tiada niat nak tunjuk hebat pun
Sedih orang fikir begitu

When dealing with others...

Yup! It is hard to deal with others

Yesterday
OMG I couldn't control myself 😰
I ran amok with admin staff in front of second boss
I have made a complain to him about unfair issue on 19 feb.
But till monday nothing change
He said he has already contacted the relevant department
But cannot do anything anymore
The selection is based on seniority
Then why didn't he update that with me

Then I directly contacted the relevant department
Guess what???
They can make the change
So where the term "cannot do anything anymore" came from?
But of course I have to get the approval from my team member

At the first place that team member suppose to be the person in charge
He is more suitable than I am due to the fact he is the coordinator
Not me !!!!
Unfortunately he seemed reluctant to in charge formally
He just wanna help me 🤦‍♀️
But what will happen if something happened?
Who is the person in charge on the event day?
Whose name in the appointment letter?
Alhamdulillah finally he agreed
So I wrote an email to the relevant department and cc to him to make the change formally and gave the justification as well.

Unfortunately since then he just ignored my whatsapp messages, phone calls amd email
I feel like a beggar
😭😭😭😰.
Did he angry with me????
The document that he shared is print disable
So I cant print it
Whereas I really need it
As a benchmark for my customers works
I suppose to settle my task by today
Unfortunately due to that I have to postpone it
It is a burden for me to just read the doc in the phone
I can't even read it in my laptop due to internet problem
I am really stress about this.
Why?
Why he did this to me???

That is why I do not like...
 to do certain task in team
Or depend on others
Dealing with others ...
either it gonna ease or burden our work
Either it gonna complete in a short or long time
Either I gonna happy or upset...

Cat, nasi kak wok, kepok lekor and me

Series of cat and me at home are nothing new
But at my workplace it kinda new

Yesterday
when I arrived at the office foyer
Suddenly the fierce looking kitten ran after my nasi kak wok 😅
A phobia me was really in panic mode
Just imagine I just stood still while swinging the nasi kak wok plastic bag away from the kitten
But definitely later I felt dizzy when I have to spin around when the kitten kept on chasing my nasi kak wok

The kitten kept following me wherever I went
So the series of chasing and spining happened several times
Then only I thought of swinging my handbag at it
No!!! I didn't hit it
Just to kept it stop from chasing my nasi kak wok
And even raised my voice to stop it
It even wanna follow me when I got into the lift
Again my handbag was my saviour

No one came to help me
They just laughing at me, smiling or just ignoring me
Hello this was not a joke
I was really upset
I guess they don't know people who afraid of cat do exist
It is called ailurophobia

In the evening
When I was about to leave the building
It happened again
This time the kitten chased after my kepok lekor
I acted fast and swing my handbag to it
And hurriedly left the building 😅😅😅

Angkuhnya

Sometimes  when we often pass through certain areas
We might not notice what have been there for so long
The same thing happened to me
There is a wall of Frame at our unit
The funny thing only two photos of us were hamging there which were taken 3-4 years back
And no one bother to add more photos nor take it down

2 years ago I thought of took it down
That is when the first new boss were in charge
After all it is not ok since I am not 'covered'
But later I forgot about it

End of last year we got another new boss
But still I forgot about it
Until early of this year
I asked the clerk to take the photos down
Due to the "cover" issue
But she could not do it
So I told her to do it later
Once again I forgot about it

Today a colleague told me
The new boss took it down
And asked the clerk to keep it
The clerk told him what I have asked her
And why I did so
Guess what the boss said
" Not because of that, This is my instruction"

Seriously???
So arrogant
Hmm when people at the top position
Sometimes they forgot themselves
Did he forget he was not the chosen one
Not even the candidate for that position
So he is totally not eligible for that position
But due to favouritism he is currently there
And very keen to be there
After all I know that the seniors do not prefer him to be there
I knew that he took his previous position for granted just to get more side income by overuling me
and later hidden plan with the ex boss
So you see previously he did something for himself
He may does the dirty trick again
Moreover just after 3 months in the position he is busy with the paid external work
And leave his main work to his strong supporters
Big money big money 😅😅😅😅
So he get his salary, position allowance and external payment
Awal2 dah lepas tangan
Whatever...
Up to him

But when it involves me
I am not comfortable
I guess he did not like me
Why I said so?
First one he did not give me any credit for the document that I have prepared
Second one he did not appoint me as leader in any important program so far when the other so called 'senior" are appointed
Am I not good enough?
Do not know anything?
Anyway I ok about it
Why?
I got so many other things to do
The the third one
But that photos incident
Really made me piss off

And last one...
The ex colleague also upset with him
He forgot that the ex was the one who promoted him here ....
Hmm
When one bites the hand who feeds one

Gila jawatan

Apa2 hal makan dulu.

Alhamdulillah ada orang sedekah nasi beraroma dan lauk yg mantap. Tak tahu nak makan ayam or masak lomak daging salai. So makan dua2 😂😂😂....

Ayam tu boleh makan dua kali
Daging tu boleh 5 kali kot 😂😂😂

Tu kisah hari Rabu...
Ni yg bestnya bila kita berkongsi
Baru hari selasa I beri gorpis pada bebudak dan rakan yg terserempak...
Alih2 Rabu dapat terima pemberian juga
Perasaannya bila menerima tu memang lain
Happy, syukur, rasa dihargai dan diingati...

Minggu ni memang macam2...
Struggling chasing the deadline
Meeting for a competition
Rejecting appointment due to my packed schedule
Listening to various version of stories...
Sometimes I just listened
Sometimes I just gave opinion

The thing is....
Certain people really do not want any top position
They will try in any possible ways to reject it
Certain people also do not want it
But at the end they have to accept it
Certain people really want it
Even though they did not perform while they got the chance
They are willing to go thru all the struggle and stress all over again just for the sake of that position and low allowance 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
They even have plan for second chance 😅
Certain people we did not expect they gonna get that
But due to favouritism he got it 😅.
To our surprise he accepted it and have already making plan even though there is still no official announcement yet
Seriously ????
😅😂😂😂
Wonder why the experience one looking forward for this position?
They have already got higher position
So why come back to lower position?
Is it for the hidden better benefit?
As what they did at their previous position
Being selfish whenever there is extra money opportunity?
Or is it because they wanna help us and build whatever have been ruined by the current one
So just wait and see
Think positive...
Really hope for change....the good one
😀😊😊😊

My popcorn maker

Hari selasa
Pagi2 baru terhegeh2 nak jemur kain dan kemas bawah
Akibatnya lewat 25 minit utk 11am appointment

Dahlah lesu dan layu
Mudahlah naik angin
Lagi2 bila customer serba tak tahu
Memang tak tahu tak mengapa
Tiada effort yg bikin panas

Tghari pun tak calm down
Takde buat appointment
Tiba2 my trainee nak jumpa
Bila terserempak I suruh baiki report
Nampak keberatan
Alasan nak cepat
Tapi terpulanglah
Later jgn blame I

After 1 hour baru them naik jumpa
Rupa2nya tak baiki pun
So apa yg mereka buat for that 1 hour?
Alasan takut tak adil with others
Orang suruh baiki tak mau buat
Orang beri peluamg pun buat tak tau
I tak marah pun
Tapi cakap dgn tegas
Nampak sangat tak ikut arahan
(Dahlah haritu beri task pun tak buat)
I cakap I sedih dan kecewa juga
Then baru terhegeh-hegeh nak buat
Boleh pulak 😰😡😅
Lepas tu nk hantar pun satu hal
Blame me pulak
Konon I dok sembang dengan colleague
Dah tu tak boleh ke datang munculkan
Minta maaf mengganggu, hantar report dan minta diri
Takkan tiada Common sense+Adab
Susah ek nak fikir?

Sambil-sambil tu
Jenguk2 my project doc
Nak edit intro macam mana
Pelaksanaan juga
Tak tamak aktiviti or kejamkah?
Jika kalah wajarkah double penalty juga?
Dahlah x dapat ganjaran
Kena denda pulak?
🤔🤔🤔🤔

Bila sampai lewat
Perlulah balik lewat
So hadaplah berbuka di ofis sensorang
Serve me rightlah kan
Luckily ada air cuckoo
Dan last mini pack biscuit
Then kalut balik rumah
Just reheat frozen food

Hari Rabu cuti lagi
Alhamdulillah boleh rehat
Masalahnya terlebih rehat
Awatlah tak bersihkan kitchen hood dan lipat baju
Luckily ada gak buat drawing for two objects
Kurenglah rasa guilty tu

Untuk berbuka gorenglah ubi kayu

Lawankan dengan leftover ayam kari madu+sambal hitam+steam beans n carrots

Tetiba mlm tu rasa nak makan lagi
Teringat ada dried corn
Moh le buat popcorn guna popcorn maker

My verdict ...
Tengok rupa jadilah popcornnya
Tapi kurang crispy mcm popcorn tgv
And ada certain part mcm x kembang habis
So mcm liat.
Luckily beli murah je
AUD10 je
After 6 years ni first time guna 😅

Hari khamis
Perlu kejar my colleague about our project deadline
Tanya juga awatlah I tiba2 kena jadi ketua sub committee on a program
Risau this committee is very important
I totally have zero knowledge n experience on it
Dalam dilema...
Takut tak mampu hadap n buat
Tapi takut juga nak tolak
Nak beri alasan apa 😅
Sakit? Tiada pengalaman?
Too old for that?
Tak pasal2 kema sembur
Haritu bising tak dpt peluang
Now dah dapat pun kecoh gak
😰😨
So just be grateful
And face it

Then barulah nak apply EL for last week and cuti raya
Dok hadap my project document juga
Baiki lampiran dan wordingnya
Make sure in line with main text juga

Alhamdulillah murah rezeki
Dapat one of my favourite food
Wajik durian

Balik masak ayam goreng kunyit
Dan reheat leftover ubi kayu goreng
Tapi rentung pulak
Tiga je selamat 🤣😂😅

Hari jumaat
Rupanya tak insaf juga
Pi lewat juga kerja
Akibatnya lewat lima minit utk appointment
Lamanya jugak diskusi
From 11.05am to 12.30pm
Discuss the suitable panel
And modify appointment letter
As well their third quarter plan

During lunch break dok hadap my project document
Pelik certain textbox just freeze
Had to retype

I got another appointment at 3pm
Pun hangin juga
Eh! Meletop terus
Punyalah I spent masa
Cari template
Cari bahan
Buat rangka
Modify her task
Tapi yg dah suruh tambah, tak buat
Yg di suggest, dibuangnya
Dah komen ikut format pun buat tak tau
So all this while what did she do???
😡😡😡😡
Sedar2 our discussion ended at 6.35pm
Kalutlah solat

7.03 baru nak balik
Sempatkah nk masak
Dah terbayang2 sup telur
Elok je nak masuk kereta
My ex-staff mai
Bagi satay
Alhamdulillah rezeki

7.14 sampai rumah
Settle itu ini
Nak rekod drama Aku yg ko tinggalkan lagi 😅
Barulah Kalut masak sup telur
Sayur takde
Ada beans and carrot je
Berbuka kurma dulu...
Alhamdulillah by 7.27 siap

Sementara nak tunggu kurang panasnya
Makanlah satay dulu....

Punyalah tak senonoh
Lepas solat tarawih
Makan lagi satay
Lepas tu kudap crunchy nut pulak
Then teringin asam pulak 😅
Eh! Ada yg menumpangkah?
Hebat selera makan tu....

Bila malam
Dah kepenatan
Nak rehat dan tenangkan fikiran
Ada pulak yg cerita
Benda yg sama berulang kali
Sampai I naik rimas
Faham perlu tempat nak meluahkan
Tapi agak2 lah
Padahal dah byk kali pesan
Jangan fikir lebih2!!!
Orang tu tak fikir pun pasal dia
Tapi degil juga
Pernah juga dia pi kumpul bukti
Tunjuk yg org tu pun fikir pasal dia

Orang macam ni perlu diingatkan juga
Not everything is about us
No one is perfect
Sukarlah hidup jika semua tak boleh terima
Esp bila things happen tak seperti yg diinginkan
Tak suka bebudak berlari bising2
Padahal jumpa setahun berapa kali je
Menyampah tengok org selfie
Ikut suka hati org tulah
Melainkan pasal dia selfie ganggu kerja kita

Dok kata boss tak kompeten dan bias
Tapi bengang pula bila boss kata dia sendiri yg x perfom
Ada task yg tak boleh solve
Berani pula tak ikut arahan boss
Dan buat hal sendiri
Pulak tu blame boss for why it happened like that
Then nak apa sebenarnya?

Dok kata itu ini salah, jumpa f2f suarakanlah
Tak dilayan, buat aduan
Masih tiada perubahan, usahakan ke peringkat tertinggi
Dah buat semua tu
Maka tak perlu fikir lagi apa yg akan berlaku
Coz tau dah buat yg terbaik
So just accept it
So that we can live calmly n happily

Bila dah tukar tempat kerja beberapa kali
Tak puas hati, sampai bila nak lari?
Wonder juga apa yg tak kena?
Mana boleh semua nak ikut cara kita
Siapa yg bermasalah sebenarnya? 

Kadang2 terfikir juga I ni just mcm taken for granted
Dicari hanya bila perlu 
Otherwise senyap berbulan2
I contact banyak kali tak layan
Sampai I risau apa yg dah jadi
Out of sudden barulah contact I semula
Rupa2nya orang lain dah malas nak layan
No matter what as a friend I layan je la
But nowadays I dah berani tegur n cakap terus terang
Jika betul kawan we never leave our friends
If they made mistake, remind n advise them

I pun jenis cerewet
Cepat tak puashati
Cepat naik angin
Tapi when it comes to work I buat je
Coz tahu tu tanggungjawab
Memanglah sakit hati
Customerlah
Bosslah
Boss abaikan unit dan sibuk cari pendapatan sampingan
Kita yg ada kerja sendiri pun kena jadi balaci
Walau cuti buat juga
Tapi sesudahnya boss tak guna pun
Info penting dari top tak disampaikan
Pandai-pandailah cari sendiri
Boss tak tahu apa
Kita jadi rujukan
Tapi org lain ingat dia serba tahu
Hal ehwal penting diabaikan
Ada je yg perlu jadi wakil
Tapi ada event yg ada boss dan customer boleh muncul and tonjolkan diri pula
Tapi bila fikir balik
I pun pernah jadi boss
Idok le bagus mana
Staf pun tak hormat I
Serabut juga pun ya 🤣🤣🤣
Yg penting sedar diri
Apapun I perlu diluahkan juga
Bila takde siapa yg boleh dengar
Atau bila nampak mereka mula rimas
Atau bila tak boleh share dgn org sekeliling
 I luahkan dalam blog jelah 😅 

Wow panjang bebelan
Maklumlah 2 hari tulis ni
🤣🤣🤣

Bila serabut ....

I have been struggling checking this one document. When I refer to other docs, I become more confuse amd blank.

Bila dah gitu
Mulalah rasa sensitif
Orang yg dekat je office dengan I boleh ajak orang lain datang to promo something...
But she never invite me...

Bila dah gitu
Mulalah berprasangka
Mula2 bising bergelak ketawa
Tiba2 senyap berbisik2

Dia mungkin ada sebab tertentu2
I tau tak elok fikir negatif
Tapi sedih ada kesal pun ada
After what she had gone thru for 4 years
Once she is better ... she does not change ...
Only find me when she need me

When Friday is just like Monday

Tu kisah semalam

Walaupun mood ke laut
Kalut dok mencari customer yg berdiam diri
Kalut dok tanya staf yg berkaitan dan her family
Kalut dok call byk kali other department on behalf of my friend
Sambil2 tu cuba clearkan table juga
Siapkan satu fail pun jadilah
Daripada tiada kan...

Akibatnya
Yg dah disenaraikan as priority dilupakan
Pun melibatkan customer juga
Perlu check, suggest dan submit segera
My document editing pun entah ke mana
😅😓😭😥

Walau apa pun
Makan itu perlu 🤣🤣🤣
Slice manggo n nasi dagang

Tapikan ....
Memang lately mood ke laut
Macam serba tak kena
Tak larat
Hilang fokus
Tak sihat tu satu hal la
Rumah bersepah
Office bersepah
Budget/spending tak update
Cari info di internet tak jumpa
Baca tak faham
Makin confuse
Jadi risau

Tengok pula sekeliling
Yg lama tertunggu dah dapat apa yg diidam
Yg tak larat dah mula aktif dan cekap
Yg dulu di belakang tabir mula ke depan
Yg baru pula diutamakan
Yg baru juga diraikan
Yg mmg aktif asyik dapat peluang
Jadilah makin risau
Bukan dengki
But just feel I am useless

Tapi tulakan
Itu semua hal dunia kan
Sepatutnya kerja akhirat
Memang susah nak berubah
At least cuba untuk berubah
Dan cuba untuk istiqamah....
Semoga diberi keazaman dan kekuatan...