Bubur lambuk berhias

Semalam kalut nak pi ofis

Semasa dah masuk ke perkarangan tempat kerja

Baru sedar saya tertinggal cermin mata

Nak patah balik malas

Lagipun dah lewat

Padanlah muka ...

Kabur nak hadap laptop

Sakit kepala kerana memaksa diri

Tapi tulah...

Kerja gerak sikit je

Tapi mulut gerak dari 1-4pm

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😅....

Kalut balik solat

Then kalut juga balik dari ofis

Nearly 7pm

Masuk tempeh dalam air fyer

Potong and rendam brocoli

Reheat sambal hitam dalam microwave

Aik...awat sambal mcm kekal bentuk

Biasa tak sampai 20 saat dah panas

Adoi rosaklah tu...

Ni mesti gara2 masak nasi guna mv haritu

Dah la my gas stove dah tak berfungsi

Terpaksa guna electric cooker

Celur brocoli

Reheat bubur lambuk

Reheat sambal...

Buka Danmuji

Nah siap bubur lambuk berhias

Anyway

Moral of the story for yesterday

Jangan mudah bersangka2

Jangan mudah kecil hati

Orang tak ajak

Rupa-rupanya orang tolong ambilkan

For today

Long list of things to do

Kalut print itu ini

Sempat dengar kisah si ibu yg tiada mood beraya

Beraya seorang diri buat pertama kali 😢

Atau balik ke kampung menumpang saudara

Anak tunggal akan beraya di rumah mertua

Jiran pula tiba2 tidak bertegur sapa

Kesian kan...

Sebab tu kita yang mendengar ni

Patut bersyukur with what we have

Dan doakan baik2 utk org yg begini

My colleague suddenly shared her voice note material

I searched for other material

And shared with her

Sharing is caring 😁

Together we are stronger

Then I downloaded my customers' documents

I am really worry about my laptop capacity

Only 3.2gb left...

While I was struggling to complete my list of things to do

My colleague reminded me to check her customer's project 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

As what I have planned the day before

I totally forgotten about it

While I was rushing with the checking task

My biskut raya supplier came to deliver my order

Then another biskut raya supplier sent me a message 

that I can pick up my order at the main office at 4.15pm 

Oh! NO!! 😱😱😱

still a lot to check

Alhamdulillah I done submit it by 4.20pm

Then I drove hurriedly to the main office

Oh! NO!!!

Where is my supplier office

I went to a different building

To make matter worst she neither reply my messages

Nor pick up my call

I had to call another friend

🤣🤣🤣

Since when did they relocate to another building???

Biskut raya is biskut raya

I missed my friends here

My ex housemates

Short meeting 

But very meaningful

Yes...we need to held a reunion

Then I went back to my office

Uploading files and reorganizing them in the new folder

Then shared them with my customer

Next I went to shop lot

Unfortunately the matcha tea is gone 😭😭

Went to speedmart to buy almond milk

Still no stock 😭😭😭

went back home

Reheat the leftover rice

Reheat sambal jawa

Reheat ayam masak kicap, add on black pepper sauce and brocoli

Went back to office

Broke my fasting

With the dates and grass jelly drink 😅 in my car

Then rushed back home

To have to reheat leftover food...

After tarawih 

I had 3 pieces raya cookies

While typing this post

I had oreo ice cream

Terpengaruh nampak org beli minggu lepas 🤣🤣🤣

Just throw your toxic ego

It is not easy to let go

When someone said improper words

When I told him it is not ok to do so

When it really hurt my feeling

When there was tears in my eyes

When other people shock to read the words as well

When I left the group

When I left a big task that can contributes to many people

It is not easy to let go

When someone did not want to apologize

Just ignore it like nothing happen

When several colleagues have advised him to do so

It is not easy to let go

When I had given the reminder generally in the meeting about attitude, manners and stealing others' work

When someone purposely share something about defamation in the social media?

Why suddenly share that kind of article

Why be triggered like that if he did nothing wrong

For what?

To remind me?

To threaten me?

To make me worry?

It is not easy to let go

When other people tried to advise him to just apologize

But he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

It is not easy let go

When other people told me he also updated a status regarding this issue

And that status can be seen by the colleagues as well

What is the purpose?

To gain sympathy and support?

To make me read it

But hello I never read anyone status 🤣🤣

It is not easy to let go

When other people has also tried to advise him to just apologize

But again he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

If he think his words were not wrong

Ok...I will try to accept that.

But how about he knew that his words hurt  my feeling?

So why he still do not want to apologize?

Rude, ego, arrogant, trying to threaten me and make a fuss in social media

He did not respect me

Only select certain people to be nice

Did not walk the talk

When he involves in the task about manners 😅

He just works here for less than 3 months

See...this kinda attitude from new people

How about later?

Due to him

I feel unhappy to work here

No motivation anymore...

Not only me...

There are others who feel the same

Again ....Due to his attitude

Stealing other people hard work

Admit his mistake to the third party

But never apologise to the one involve

Act like nothing happen

And I know that...

Whatever that colleague and I feel

He feels it too...

The negative energy will bounce back to him

Moreover I always hope that he will be always kept away from me and my work place🤲🤲🤲

I imagine and believe that it gonna be happen on one fine day 

Can't wait for that moment

My dear friend also pray for the best for me

Last year 

One of my colleague told me that ...

He felt like not feeling calm

He wanna resign from work

Glad to hear that

But his family objected to that

But...hmm...still here

Today

Another colleague told me

He feel like wanna resign

Due to the tiring trip

Need to focus with his bussiness

But he is a bit heavy hearted when thinking about service duration ...

So you see...

Moral of the story...

Life is a cycle...

What you give you get back

Never ever makes other people unhappy

Due to our words and attitude...

If you hurt people feeling

Apologise !!!

You will never be calm unless you apologise..

As for me

As what the speaker said

Do not ever put hope

Or expect things to happen as what we wanna it to be

So I should let it go

Try to be forgiven

Even though he never apologise

But...

For time being 

I can't do so...

I am really deeply hurt

I still remember how miserable I was last year

Planning to take a long leave

Or just to resign...

But I kinda of SEDAR DIRI

Banyak hutang lagi 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Moreover one of the senior had reminded me

Rugilah....

The feeling of wanna die

But SEDAR DIRI

Dosa banyak 😅😅😅

Bekalan pun tak cukup lagi

Banyak lompang sana sini

Certain people may think

Why is it so hard to let go?

This is very small matter

Why let this some one ruining me?

Well...

We will never understand certain thing

Until we are in that people shoes...

Tak bincang

Bermula semalam I kurang sihat

Tekak tak selesa dan suara serak

Rasa nak demam

So ambil panadol je

Pagi tadi mula ada stuffy nose

But masih boleh buat stir fried veggies 😅

After brekky mula rasa nak demam

Rasa panas badan, sakit bhg mata dan sakit kepala

Alhamdulillah buat saliva test negatif

But still kena jaga2

But badan rasa lesu

Mengantuk pun ya.

Kiranya after brekky...

mcm seharian I terbaring

Kecuali bangun utk mandi, solat..

Ambil food dan makan

Ya walaupun tak sihat

I tetap berselera...

Petang and malam ok sikit

But malam fikiran terganggu

Kerana kerja lah...

How la certain team memandai buat perubahan

Tanpa bincang dengan semua

Tanpa di bawa ke mesyuarat

Yes...saya hargai tugas dan usaha mereka

Saya pun tak larat nk pegang tugas tu

Apa masalah dengan prosedur lama?

Apa rasional buat perubahan?

Mereka boleh pilih sendiri?

Adilkah konsep first come first serve ?

dalam konteks tempat kami?

Of courselah mereka pilih yg mereka kenal

Yg nampak hebat dan baik utk mereka

So adilkah untuk kami?

Yg tak dikenali?

Or mungkin mereka tak suka cara kami

Eh kami boleh pilih mereka juga???

Boleh pilih lebih awal?

Dah tu how kami nak pilih?

kami pun tak kenal mereka

Adilkah???

So end up kami yg tak dikenali

Tak jadi pilihan mereka

Dan mereka yg bagus pula telah dirembat

Maka tinggallah yg bermasalah untuk kami

See...

..inilah bila team yg memandai2

Lagi2 bila ada ahli2 yg baru

Konon nk buat perubahan

Tapi lupa konsep keadilan 

Dan ahli2 baru ni 

Memang byk idea yg konon nak memudahkan

Tapi ikut pengalaman...hmmm

Ada yg buat borang 

tapi makin mengelirukan

Ni bukan i kata but org lain kata

Ada yg cadang guna dokumen sama

Tapi tak betul dari segi prosedur

Ada yg konon nak bincang

Tapi rupanya bincg depan customer

Memalukan coz nmpk kami tak sepakat

Eh banyaklah....

Tu belum cerita masalah attitude

I terpaksa dump my nagging here 😅

By writing it...

Habih tu...to whom may I talk to?

I called my friend lambat pick up...

Bila pick up..ada bunyi dan mcm terputus

Tapi tak call semula

Whatsapp tak reply...

Sedih...kecewa...

When I am in need

People could not be bother

Tapi when they in need 

I always lend my ears 

Tak kisahlah I sibuk or not

Bukan 5 minit...

Tapi biasanya antara 30 minit-2 jam

Lebih 2 jam pun ada....

Eh!membebel ni macam org sihat pulak kan....

Friday nagging...

Bila emosi masih terganggu

Kerja pula banyak

Long list of things to do

Nak semak itu ini

Nak buat laporan itu ini

Tapi banyak perkara tak selesai

Jadi tertangguh

Sukar dipantau

Due to certain party yg byk songeh

Dia lagi besar dari big big boss 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Benda boleh settle sehari

Jadi hampir 45 hari

Sikit2 nak memo

Org biasa2 tak boleh hantar memo

Nak emel satu persatu bagi setiap task

Tak mau emel yg ada senarai task 😡

Masalahnya ko selamba terlepas pandang email

Nak isi borang itu ini

Nak lengkapkan fail itu ini

Nak muatnaik bahan itu ini

Nak update bahan itu ini

Nak sediakan bahan itu ini

Nak kejar customer itu ini

Rumah macam tongkang pecah

Tanaman kuning melayu kekeringan

Tadi semasa proses semakan 

Ternampak sesuatu dalam sistem

Ini tak boleh jadi

Biasa perlu hadap 1-2 sahaja

Kenapa kali ini 3

Ini tidak adil !!!

Bila ditanya pada leader

Dia pun terkejut

Coz senarai yg dia buat lain

So bagaimana senarai dalam sistem berbeza?

Bila ditanya kepada boss

Bagaimana boleh jadi gitu?

Bunyi macam benda kecik

Oklah jika as dummy temporarily

But still kena fikir risiko dan kesan to me

Nanti my work schedule pasti kacau bilau lagi

Yg sekarang ni pun masih tak selesai

So it is better to settle everyrhing at the early stage

To avoid the same thing happen again

But a bit dissappointed with the boss

Bila ditanya siapa yg masukkan dalam sistem

Coz ikut pengalaman, unit kamilah yg masukkan

In fact during my time...

I was the one who keyed in everything in the system

Dengan yakinnya dia menjawab pihak lain 😅

But when I asked the unit clerk

Definitely she was the one who keyed in it 🤣🤣

How come the boss did not know about it 😅

Moreover, later the leader called me

She actually have forgotten that she asked the clerk to put my name 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

Moral of the story

If you feel you are treated unfairly

Then you should make an enquiry

No harm in informing and asking

But....hello

If you aren't sure of certain things

Just try to get the fact right

Before you telling incorrect things 🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes we think highly of certain people

But they also normal human

....not perfect 😊😁

Well that is life

And we should have the strong courage

To tell them that they are wrong 😁

Whatsapp

Norma kerja sekarang

Semuanya melalui whatsapp 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Sampai adakalanya terlepas pandang

Sukar utk cari semula

Sepatutnya whatsapp hanyalah sampingan

Utama dan rasminya mestilah melalui email

Memang whatsapp byk peranan

salah satu platform utk peringatan tarikh dan perkara penting

Perkongsian maklumat

Penyumbangan idea

Perbincangan

Tapi whatsapp tetap ada batasnya

Info yg kurang jelas

Buat staf tidak faham

Penulisan yg tidak sampai maksud

Buat staf keliru

Penulisan yg dibaca dengan nada lain

Dan mungkin boleh sebabkan salah faham

Jika nak minta pandangan/komen info perlu lengkap

Bila orang minta info lanjut utk mudah beri komen

Janganlah senyap

Bila orang beri cadangan 

janganlah buat2 tak nampak

Jika orang tu salah faham

Betulkanlah...

Jangan sekadar letak contoh tanpa huraian

Jika minta org semak sesuatu

Bila ada yg komen 

ko layan

Bila saya yg komen 

Kesilapan ketara pulak tu

Sekali lagi ko buat tak tau

Sebenarnya nak apa???

Bila beri komen

Jangankan nak ucap terima kasih

Malah tidak dihiraukan

Pilih bulu pun ya

Tak beri komen 

Dikata tak beri kerjasama

Tau ko tertekan

Boss goyang kaki

Ko yg buat kerja

Tapi setakat kerja balaci pun besar kepala

Jangan haraplah org happy bila ko jadi boss nanti

Harap takkan jadi boss sampai bila2...

Tamak haloba

Pagi2 lagi dah org contact

Buat2 tanya pasal my customer

I rasa pelik

Tak pernah umur nk contact I

Entah2 nak tanya pasal my customer  "produk" yg baru keluar 3 days before

Memanglah dia our team member
Tapi tu utk new project
Not this project

As expected

Memang itulah yg ditanya
Memang tak malu
Produk kecik je utk org yg tak aktif mcm I
Bukan mcm dia yg aktif
Byk produk besar

Awatlah jerung sangat tamak
Bilis punya hasil pun nak ngap

Haritu pun mcm tu
Our unit open application for a task
Non paid but good to gain experience
Ramai yg mohon
Termasuk non active bilis like me

Guess what??
Dia pun minta
Dah la ada jwtn besar
Sangat aktif buat itu ini
Ke sana sini
Finally dia dapat

Memanglah rezeki dia
Tapi adilkah???
Kenapa tak beri peluang pd org lain
Tak fikir pasal org lain
Boss pun mcm bias

Dia minta apa pun boss layan

Walaupun tak adil

Dah diputuskan dalam meeting

Semua perlu conduct two tasks

Dia siap argue how people calculate the load

Dia request utk satu task

Finally dapat

Tapi boss dalam whatsapp dok bash I

Remind lagi dalam meeting

Tak tahu atau lupa kena belajar

Jangan demand2

I mohon utk first task tu I prefer certain subtask

Just tanya, tak dapat takpe

Ada sekali tu kami kalut nk submit something

Alih2 perlu WFH

Angkara boss jugalah

Disebabkan bhn tertinggal di office

Maka minta boss bawa ke atas 

pasal mohon perlanjutan utk submit 

Masa meeting I kena lagi

Katanya dah lama beri masa

Tapi elok je lepas tu dapat perlanjutan

So org lain mohon boleh pulak

Satu lagi pasal time off

Dapat remind masa mtg utk yg kerap 

Ingat I suka2 ke sakit?

Dah mmg ada appointment 

Pi je la

Kerja I tetap jalan dan siap

Sambil duduk tunggu appointment I buat kerja

Eithet by using phone or laptop

Cuma bila mula kurang selesa I stop

Takpun bila mata dah blur bila dimasuk ubat mata

The thing is

Not happy with orang tamak

And with the boss yg bias dan mcm hsve something against me

Buat kerana siapa?

Last month we got a workshop at out place 

So I suggested for the use of foreign aspect

I even suggested to use two foreign aspects

But we can only add one aspect due to criteria limitation

Then we got another workshop outside

To ammend the proposal

Two of the team members discussed on how to arrange all aspects.

One of them have attended the first workshop

While the other have not attend

Suddenly the absent one said that the idea of  two foreign aspect came from the other member

Due to dissapointment I just said 

- wasn't it we have agreed for one aspect only

- I even suggested for two aspects but was not acceptable

It seems that other people got credit from my suggestion

Later my colleague presented our proposal

The big bog like the idea of foreign aspect very much

She even asked other group to embed our idea of foreign aspect

Guess what?

The one who absent from the first wshop kept on giving credit and praising to that other member for her idea

I really really dissapointed because she seemed to mock me

And the other one just kept quiet and didnt say that  the idea is actually from me

Bila mengadu dengan my friend

Katanya biarlah

Kita niat ikhlas kerana Allah

This week we got another workshop

So I prepared excel file to ease our calculation and shared with others

I even taught the coordinator on how to calculate and how to key distribute the data in the document

I am sure the coordinator taught others about it too

Yesterday she worried something about our proposal

Due to panel's comment

So I helped her in seing the key aspects 

And justify our proposal

So today the coordinator update our progress

When everyone thanked her

She only mentioned one person who helped her

Seriously?

Who am I to her?

What I can see here

Everyone is selfish

#They find us when they need us

#But they chose who they want to give credit

#And the people who are not suppose to get the credit just keep quiet 

and did not correct the mistake

Or explain the real situation

So how do I suppose to react?

If possible try to explain what is actually happen

Not to get the praise etc

But to fight for my right

If it not possible just accept whatever happen

And left the rest to Allah 

ANYTHING WE DO FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH

Cari kita kutuk kita

 Yesterday 
I was racing for two deadlines
Need to attend two events
And tried to find a few minutes to meet and old friend after buying food for lunch

Despite my tight schedule
Tuere were several knockes on my office door 
from 11 ++ to 1pm
Maybe more than five times 😅😅😃
The daughter of my colleague who need my help to open her mum's door 
I don't mind doing that....

My colleague seemed in hurry to a program
It is ok to help people in need
After all I love children
This cute lil girl is cute and cheeky

After the second knock
I help again to open the door
Guess what ?
She gave me a birthday card 😍

After the third knock
She said sorry kacau 
Tell me...whose heart is not touched?

Not melted?

There was also a colleague
Who need a shoulder to cry on
Family and customers" problems
Nothing really new except one

Many times I lend my ears for the similar matters
But again I just listened
And spoke whenever neccesary

Coz I do understand 
Sometimes people just want us to listen
Just want to ecpress their feeling
To make them relief from the burden

Around 6pm
I still struggling to meet the first deadline
She came to me again
And I know it gonna be long time

Oh No!...
I did not know on how to refuse
Moreover I dont have a heart to ignore her

Guess what she said ?????

" I went to several people, but I still could not see.
Finally I got the answer from the fourth person.
First I should understand my customer 
She may have problem too
Second, actually I dissappointed with her for not meeting my target"

She kept on repeating the similar words for the first bold sentences several times.
Such as... takde jawapan, tak membantu
How would you feel if you meet this kind of ungrateful person.
Yes...I am the first person.

I spent my time to listen to her despite my hectic schedule
Due to pity
And sense of responsibility for people in need
But what did I get?

It is ok if she forgot to say thank you
But why wanna say all three of us it is not helpful...
Seriously.????
But at the same time still wanna find me 🤦‍♀️😅

Find me when she need me

Or to kutuk me as well 😅

Or if her so called good listener is not around
But if I need help
Sometimes she did not even border to pick up my call 
Or open her door

evem though I know she is her office
Why? 
Because she want to finish her task

But if she need help

She would not be border 
If we are busy or not

We have to spend time with her

Listen to her

Hmm...she is totally selfish
Self centered
Ungrateful
And  SICK

She can't differentiate between a colleague and a councellor

She can't differentiate between a friend and a pschyciatrist that she used to meet

Hello! I takde tauliah pun 😁

Lepas ni ngaji psikologi ler...

Ada permintaan nampaknya

Me and myself is to blaim too

WHY?

Because too kind to people who often hurt me

Whatever it is I dah luahkan di sini

Dah lega...

Maafkan dia

And move on 😊

Sailang Customer

 Hmm memang tak sangka

Tak tahu nak marah or sedih

Orang yg selami ini saya hormati

Cuba sailang my customer

Hello sister!!!

Ko nak apalagi?

Customer ko pun dah ramai

Awat nak tamak?

Yg ada dulu pun ko tak terhadap

Ada yg terabai 8 tahun

Ada yg terus senyap

Pulak tu bab2 utk diri sendiri 

sangatlah cekap

Tapi bab2 utk unit dan teamwork

Mcm siput...

Ke laut pun ya...

Dulu ko juga yang sentap

Dulu ko yg bising

Konon tak cukup pelanggan

So I dah buat new regulation

Supaya lebih adil

Dan semua dapat peluang

Alih2 ko tamak haloba

Alih2 ko jadi kera dapat bunga

Ko jadi kacang si pelupa kulit

Ko balas racun dengan madu yg aku beri

Tapi lantaklah kan

Ko punya sukalah kan

Nak selori ke nak sekapal

Nak abaikan ke nak tatang

Nak ingat or nak lupa

Tapi...

Yang nak pi sailang my customer apehal?

I know she is international customer

Dah rezeki saya

Tapi ko carilah sendiri!!!

Pulak tu ko pi burukkan I

Apa dia???

Aku ni tak pakar ya.

Ko jelah yg pakar kan....

Nasiblah my customer tu setia

Eloklah tu...

 yg kakak cuba sailang my international customer

Yg adik dah berjaya sailang my ex customer

Penat bimbing dan bantu pun tak hilang lagi

Alih2 kena rampas

Tu yg kami tahu...

Yg tak tahu...hmm entahlah

Keturunan hebat

Tapi perangai macam  dot dot dot

Pasti ada kifarahnya....