MYR21k in 2 months 😱

Due to an issue with my account at Bank xyz

I was in panic mode yesterday

Not again...

With the same bank?

But different scenario

What have I done?

Is that what is left?

How am I going to survive this month?

And to think about the balance in Bank abc

And with so many bills to pay

My parents portion

The allocation for out station work

The second payment for my house repair

This totally lead me to high panic mode

That is the second issue

The third issue is where did my loan settlement in Bank abc gone?

The same goes to the Etiqa periodical payment?

Like gone in a split second????

So today

I traced out all my spending since end of may

Just by checking all my transactions for Bank abc

Seriously I spent nearly MYR21,000 from end of May till yesterday, second august 

😰😱😱😱🤦‍♀️

What did I buy/pay???

Long list...

But all spending is a must

Such as for house, car and medical expenses

Except the jewellery 😅

And the MYR837 for clothes

Really pricey attire but easy and comfy to wear

The lesson here...

Jangan kelabu mata bila nampak duit lebih sikit

As a result over spending 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Jangan buat lagi !!!!

Pengubat Hati Di Aidil Adha

Eid mubarak...

Alhamdulillah diberi kesempatan untuk menyambut Hari Raya Aidil Adha

So my mum cooked chicken curry

My sister ordered 1.2kg beef rendang +peanut sauce

And I bought ketupat palas+beef floss

Even though my initial plan not to balik kampung

Due to piles of works

But family is no 1

However as expected kinda boring day

Without the kids 

I came back home early to meet the kids

Before they left

Sempatlah pi beli corn dog Family mart

Lepak di Tealive menikmati smoothies

Dan pi playground

My friday kinda gone wasted

Plan to focus on checking the document

But only check 1/5 of it

And the rest more to sleeping if not focusing on my mobile phone 🤦‍♀️

On saturday morning

I went to buy brekky

Hmm...nasi lemak 3 -RM6

Sambal kerang utk 2 org makan-RM8

Rendang daging "- RM10

Quite pricey...

But bayau je la

Then I cleaned our living room+second family area

Jenuh...pi bersihkan tahi cicak

Sapu dan mop

So tengahari tu keletihan

Around 3pm I went to Aeon

I had churros and nachos for afternoon tea break

I bought these

And these

As a heart broken healer...

I just realised my precious CK missing as I wanna sleep on 5th of July

At first I just calm

I just thot that I dropped it somewhere in my home

I tried to search it 

And cleared a lil bit of my messy family area

The next day ...

I searched everywhere thoroughly in my home

Either upstairs or downstairs

Even in the bathroom

Either in the Piles of dirty laundry,

in the washing net

Or unfolded cleaned clothes

As far as I remembered 

I did the handwashing on sunday and monday nite

I had stomache on tuesday dawn 

Due to that I had to go to the toilet several times

So I checked

The water holes at my bathroom

I had difficulty to lift the main hole slab

But after a few attempts I managed to do so

However I really afraid to lift the metal cover

Because it kinda rusty n macam reput

Moreover I am afraid in case there is any reptiles or any living things in the dark main hole

In addition definitely it really gross to see my own sewages if they are still there 😅

Strange..that main hole cover suppose to be

Heavy steel and ada cangkuk

But this one seems like aluminium nipis dan tiada cangkuk...

Hmm...did the previous renovation contractor took and sold it?

I went everywhere

**at the cafe that I went on tuesday

Look thoroughly at the parking lot and

Asked the cafe staff

**At my unit office

**At my own office

**at the department office

**at my office parking lot

**at the cafe that I went on monday

**at the herbs shop

**at the stationery shop

I made many phone call 

**security

**second cafe management office

**my colleagues

I even sent whatsapp to the restaurant in town that I went on monday evening

But no one found it...

This really made me upset 😭😭😭

My colleague said who wanna return the gold item?

The only place that I did not go is JnT

Coz I was rushing to go back to my home town

To avoid traffic jam

I went there on friday the week before

But I wonder why they did not pick up the call

The most regretful ...

I knew it has the loose clip

But still wore it

Moreover this was the second time it happened to me

Just like I never learnt 🤦‍♀️😢😰

No matter what

I still hope that I can find my precious piece

I have asked my friend and my cousin who is now the hajj pilgrims to pray for me as well...

Zombie life

For the past few weeks

I guess I was living like a zombie

All concerning my work

Dealing with many types of customers

Rushing to deadlines

Outstation etc

To make matter worst due to my perfectionist personality 🤦‍♀️

Regardless of long list of things to do

And around the corner deadlines

Confusion of which task to complete first

Suddenly I went for hybernation last weekend

Doing nothing except eating and watching kdrama Eve 🤦‍♀️😅

But on monday morning 

I became so worried with the piles of tasks

And almost did not want to wake up.

But, finally I overcame it

When I arrived at work 

Again I did not know which task that I should do first....

But when it comes to gossipinh and  food laju pulak 🤣.

My colleague told me that she made me as the example to justify her concern during a meeting

However I was kinda annoy 

When certain of what she listed concerning me

Was Not really true

And may lead to misinterpreted by others

But...thing has passed

Couldn't be rewind

So I have to train myself 

Not to overthinking

And let go of things that I can't control

So i bought the following food for lunch

Nasi campur lauk asam pedas ikan+bende goreng+taugeh+sambal belacan

And jambu+asam kawan belanja

Unfortunately around 2pm

One of the organizer for the external workshop

complained that I did not complete my claim form

and did not provide my ID photocopy and payroll slip 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Once settled with this claim thingy

I have to check my junior customers task

Dah komen dan ada contoh pun salah 😡😅

Sabau je la

Then I was so shocked to see my attendance record

Not again ...

The outstation was not recorded

Not enough working hours etc...

Maybe due to system error my reasons were not submitted 

I went to town to buy stationery, food for dinner and raya cookies

Unfortunately, only the banner of raya cookies still available 🤣🤣🤣

And the stationery shop closed early

I had a small bowl of soto+a quarter plate of nasi goreng+laici kang for dinner

Unfortunately, around 3-4am I got stomache

And went to the toilet several times

Today I had mcd pie apple for brekky

And this food for lunch

Unfortunately...I had stomache again atound 8pm 

What is wrong with me?

I was afraid to had dinner

But I was so hungry

I ended up having 2 packets of biscuits+hot peaches tea

High calorie but not satisfying my hunger 🤦‍♀️😅

This one whole day

I was kinda had mental block

while checking and editing my jaws customer's document

I only submitted the latest version to her at about 9.50pm

Kinda dissapointed when certain people just doing their work rushingly and not properly

Additionaly, when she hardly listen to my suggestion 

I wonder how can she do something that require at least a month in just one day

Tak kesampaian

Konon today cuti

Nak pi tukar IC baru

Nak pi tukar nama pemilik kereta

Nak pi servis kereta

Nak lipat baju

Nak urut coz sakit bawah belikat

Utk renew IC

Rasa tak mau pakai tudung hitam

Nanti nampak bosan

Nak pakai tudung plain instant dark blue

Risau design tak dibenarkan

Risau juga embossednya berkilau

Nak pakai new tudung instant merah

Belum basuh

Confirmlah kedut

Lagipun inner mcm terlipat

Pangkal tudung pun macam tak smooth

Kena iron properly kot

Nak pakai tudung pleated dark purple

Baju light purple tak dijumpai

Jenuh cari di bakul laundry, 

Di bukitan baju tak berlipat

Di dalam wardrobe

Di dalam beg balik raya

Di dalam beg balik weekend

Di dalam jut bag

Pun takde 

🤔🤔🤔🤦‍♀️

Selalu mcm ni

Haritu sebelum raya cari tudung pleated hitam

Dah la kalut nk packing

Dah lewat

So balik kg je la

Siapa pulak pi curi tudung

Dan baju

Pakaian murah je 😅

Tapi tadi rupanya 

Tudung hitam tu terselit dalam jut bag

🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Anyway due to cari baju dah buang masa

Tu belum lagi nak google tudung utk IC

Tapi si android+google asyik lah pi redirect ke lazada 😡

Wasting time

Bila cuba nak block

Dah google cara to prevent redirect

Tak faham2

Bila faham, tak menjadi pula

Wasting time

So dah 10++am

Dah panas

I pun takde mood nk keluar 

Tapi tengoklah 😅

Bubur lambuk berhias

Semalam kalut nak pi ofis

Semasa dah masuk ke perkarangan tempat kerja

Baru sedar saya tertinggal cermin mata

Nak patah balik malas

Lagipun dah lewat

Padanlah muka ...

Kabur nak hadap laptop

Sakit kepala kerana memaksa diri

Tapi tulah...

Kerja gerak sikit je

Tapi mulut gerak dari 1-4pm

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😅....

Kalut balik solat

Then kalut juga balik dari ofis

Nearly 7pm

Masuk tempeh dalam air fyer

Potong and rendam brocoli

Reheat sambal hitam dalam microwave

Aik...awat sambal mcm kekal bentuk

Biasa tak sampai 20 saat dah panas

Adoi rosaklah tu...

Ni mesti gara2 masak nasi guna mv haritu

Dah la my gas stove dah tak berfungsi

Terpaksa guna electric cooker

Celur brocoli

Reheat bubur lambuk

Reheat sambal...

Buka Danmuji

Nah siap bubur lambuk berhias

Anyway

Moral of the story for yesterday

Jangan mudah bersangka2

Jangan mudah kecil hati

Orang tak ajak

Rupa-rupanya orang tolong ambilkan

For today

Long list of things to do

Kalut print itu ini

Sempat dengar kisah si ibu yg tiada mood beraya

Beraya seorang diri buat pertama kali 😢

Atau balik ke kampung menumpang saudara

Anak tunggal akan beraya di rumah mertua

Jiran pula tiba2 tidak bertegur sapa

Kesian kan...

Sebab tu kita yang mendengar ni

Patut bersyukur with what we have

Dan doakan baik2 utk org yg begini

My colleague suddenly shared her voice note material

I searched for other material

And shared with her

Sharing is caring 😁

Together we are stronger

Then I downloaded my customers' documents

I am really worry about my laptop capacity

Only 3.2gb left...

While I was struggling to complete my list of things to do

My colleague reminded me to check her customer's project 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

As what I have planned the day before

I totally forgotten about it

While I was rushing with the checking task

My biskut raya supplier came to deliver my order

Then another biskut raya supplier sent me a message 

that I can pick up my order at the main office at 4.15pm 

Oh! NO!! 😱😱😱

still a lot to check

Alhamdulillah I done submit it by 4.20pm

Then I drove hurriedly to the main office

Oh! NO!!!

Where is my supplier office

I went to a different building

To make matter worst she neither reply my messages

Nor pick up my call

I had to call another friend

🤣🤣🤣

Since when did they relocate to another building???

Biskut raya is biskut raya

I missed my friends here

My ex housemates

Short meeting 

But very meaningful

Yes...we need to held a reunion

Then I went back to my office

Uploading files and reorganizing them in the new folder

Then shared them with my customer

Next I went to shop lot

Unfortunately the matcha tea is gone 😭😭

Went to speedmart to buy almond milk

Still no stock 😭😭😭

went back home

Reheat the leftover rice

Reheat sambal jawa

Reheat ayam masak kicap, add on black pepper sauce and brocoli

Went back to office

Broke my fasting

With the dates and grass jelly drink 😅 in my car

Then rushed back home

To have to reheat leftover food...

After tarawih 

I had 3 pieces raya cookies

While typing this post

I had oreo ice cream

Terpengaruh nampak org beli minggu lepas 🤣🤣🤣

Just throw your toxic ego

It is not easy to let go

When someone said improper words

When I told him it is not ok to do so

When it really hurt my feeling

When there was tears in my eyes

When other people shock to read the words as well

When I left the group

When I left a big task that can contributes to many people

It is not easy to let go

When someone did not want to apologize

Just ignore it like nothing happen

When several colleagues have advised him to do so

It is not easy to let go

When I had given the reminder generally in the meeting about attitude, manners and stealing others' work

When someone purposely share something about defamation in the social media?

Why suddenly share that kind of article

Why be triggered like that if he did nothing wrong

For what?

To remind me?

To threaten me?

To make me worry?

It is not easy to let go

When other people tried to advise him to just apologize

But he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

It is not easy let go

When other people told me he also updated a status regarding this issue

And that status can be seen by the colleagues as well

What is the purpose?

To gain sympathy and support?

To make me read it

But hello I never read anyone status 🤣🤣

It is not easy to let go

When other people has also tried to advise him to just apologize

But again he arrogantly said to others

He did not do anything wrong

Why he has to apologize?

If he think his words were not wrong

Ok...I will try to accept that.

But how about he knew that his words hurt  my feeling?

So why he still do not want to apologize?

Rude, ego, arrogant, trying to threaten me and make a fuss in social media

He did not respect me

Only select certain people to be nice

Did not walk the talk

When he involves in the task about manners 😅

He just works here for less than 3 months

See...this kinda attitude from new people

How about later?

Due to him

I feel unhappy to work here

No motivation anymore...

Not only me...

There are others who feel the same

Again ....Due to his attitude

Stealing other people hard work

Admit his mistake to the third party

But never apologise to the one involve

Act like nothing happen

And I know that...

Whatever that colleague and I feel

He feels it too...

The negative energy will bounce back to him

Moreover I always hope that he will be always kept away from me and my work place🤲🤲🤲

I imagine and believe that it gonna be happen on one fine day 

Can't wait for that moment

My dear friend also pray for the best for me

Last year 

One of my colleague told me that ...

He felt like not feeling calm

He wanna resign from work

Glad to hear that

But his family objected to that

But...hmm...still here

Today

Another colleague told me

He feel like wanna resign

Due to the tiring trip

Need to focus with his bussiness

But he is a bit heavy hearted when thinking about service duration ...

So you see...

Moral of the story...

Life is a cycle...

What you give you get back

Never ever makes other people unhappy

Due to our words and attitude...

If you hurt people feeling

Apologise !!!

You will never be calm unless you apologise..

As for me

As what the speaker said

Do not ever put hope

Or expect things to happen as what we wanna it to be

So I should let it go

Try to be forgiven

Even though he never apologise

But...

For time being 

I can't do so...

I am really deeply hurt

I still remember how miserable I was last year

Planning to take a long leave

Or just to resign...

But I kinda of SEDAR DIRI

Banyak hutang lagi 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Moreover one of the senior had reminded me

Rugilah....

The feeling of wanna die

But SEDAR DIRI

Dosa banyak 😅😅😅

Bekalan pun tak cukup lagi

Banyak lompang sana sini

Certain people may think

Why is it so hard to let go?

This is very small matter

Why let this some one ruining me?

Well...

We will never understand certain thing

Until we are in that people shoes...

Ramadhan weight

Dah 3am ni...

But tak boleh tidur 😭😭😭

Nk muntah tengok IG/FB/youtube

Or belek2 gambar lama

Lagi sakit hati pun ada

Coz byk gambar when I was 16kg lighter

Quite ok skin and No pigmentation

With thick and healthy hair

Dah tu...passed is passed...

Bukannya nak pi tahajud ke kan

Pi buat benda2 mengarut

Apalah nak jadi?

Sejak puasa ni

Tak larat nak sahur berat

Biasa kurma dgn susu/air kosong

Or tak terbangun sahur 🤦‍♀️

Rasa dah kurangkan portion makan waktu beebuka

Kadang2 cuba juga suku2 separuh

No ice cream

Selagi boleh cuba elak sweet food kuih/cake etc

Melainkan teringin sangat 

Ada juga orang beri

Baru sekali beli taufufah

Baru sekali beli 2 paket kuih 

Dan sebekas bubur pulut hitam 

Tu pun limitkan sehari 1-2 ketul

End up tak habis

Since dah almost 2 weeks

I terpaksa buang

Sayang....tapi memang tak selera

Lagipun dah keras 😅

Tapi tang air tu susah sikit 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Baru sekali minum air berkarbonat-F&N orange 😅

Air kelapa no sugar 1x

Air cincau tin 1x, 

matcha green tea 2x, 

hazelnut matcha ice blended 1x

Blend fruit juice sendiri 1x

Buat lemon asam boi madu 2x

Owh selain makan buah naga/anggur/mangga/tembikai

But buah kan manis

So I kawal juga portion

But without exerciselah

Selain lemau

Memang tiada semangat nak mulakan

So very slow weight loss....

Lepas tu padan muka

Dissappointed 😭

Harapan tinggi 😅

Here is my note

0. 3 april: first day ramadhan
1. 4 april: puasa 1-64.5kg
2. 5 april : 63.2kg
3. 6/04: 62.6 kg(diarrhea) 🤦‍♀️😅
4. 7/4: 62.6 kg
5. 8/4: 62.2 kg(total lose for 5 days=2.3kg)
       Expectation:
            7 days=3 kg..........61.5kg
          14 days=6kg.........58.5kg
          30 days=12kg ....52kg???
6.9/4: 61.9 (6d=2.6kg)
          Static/gain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
7. 15/4: 61.7 (12d=2.9kg)
          Static/gain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
8. 18/4: 61.4(15d=3.1kg)
         New expectation:
         30days=6.2kg...58.3kg

Tapi bila fikir semula...

Dulu tahun 2017 ada coach

Utk 2 bulan...

Once/twice a week adalah exercise 1-1.30jam

Makan kadang jaga kadang tak 🤣

Dari 60kg turun ke 57kg

Turun 3 kg je 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

But mmg nmpk juga inches loss

Bayangkan dulu dengan exercise pun turun sikit je

Mmg jenis low metabolic rate kot 😁

Menu Ramadhan 7 hari

First day-Ahad

Walaupun tak puasa 😅

Masak apa ada...

Tak sempat/larat pi kedai

So sambal sardin+paratha

Second day-Isnin

Baru start puasa

But I saja ambil cuti

I cancelled Meeting with customers as well

Konon nk kemas rumah

But tak gerak

I tambah gochucaru (cili korea) dalam sambal sardin supaya pedas

Tp tak pedas pun 🤣

Dan goreng telur+lobak asin

Third day

Konon nak pi withdraw duit

Tapi teringin sambal petai

Pi bazar ramadhan

Dah la it was drizzling

Kecewa....

Hmmm...sana sini roti john

Kuih pun tak byk pilihan

Or banyak dah habis

Air pun tak menarik

Takde org jual lauk

Dalam pada takde apa tu byk gak I beli 😅

Antaranya mee kari +air kelapa + taufufah 

Tapi esoknya I terpaksa ambil EL

I had diarrhea 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Fourth day

Nasi ayam golek 

dari bazar ramadhan semalamnya

Tapi kira candle light breakfasting 😅

Coz black out ....

Fifthday

Pun nak cari lauk di gerai/kedai nearby my house

Lauk di kedai tak byk pilihan.

Lagipun semua ayam

So I pi kedai lain

Beli ikan bakar +teh hijau

Pi gerai tamak pulak

Beli bubur pulut hitam+kuih kaswi+kuih sagu

Tapi mkn kuih je...

So hadaplah sehari seketul 😅🤣

Keras dah...nanti kena kukus semula

Bila taip post ni baru teringat bubur 🤦‍♀️😅

Sixth day

Teringin burger pulak

Konon nak belanja my nearby customers

But I just asked siapa yg ada

Tak ckp nk belanja pun

Masing2 senyap2...

Sedihkan...niat nak bersedekah pun tak tercapai

Alhamdulillah ada security guards at my work place

Tapi tak cukup pulak burgernya for them 😅

Harap them share lah

Anyway here was my portion

Seventh day

Misi mengosongkan fridge

Kali ni modify sambal sardin

Curah lebihan kuah mee kari

Jadilah...kari sardin 🤣🤣🤣

Masak telur dadar

Tumis brocoli sos tiram

Penuh pinggan

Suapan ke-3 dah senak perut 🤣🤣🤣

Fullstop

 Semalam ternampak FB posting Syed Azmi

He shared quotes from IG

"Marahnya orang sabar adalah diam"

"Marahnya orang kecewa adalah pergi"

The second line just happened to me last week

When a friend ignored my advice for not copy paste

When her words hurt my feeling

When for the first time in 12 years 

I got the courage to say ....

Her words really hurt me

When she said she upset with me

 I chose not to not reply her whatsapp message

No point of saying anything anymore

when someone did not want to listen

Even though it is for her own good

Not only she hurt me

She made me dissapointed with her

I better leave

But after 5 days

I just wanted to clear the air

Maybe I did wrong too

Maybe my words also hurt her

I thought she had enough time and space

To calm down

To think and reflect

After all it's now Ramadhan

So I just asked what she had for breakfasting...

But today....

After 3 days I am still waiting for her reply

Hmm...is this situation refering to the first quote?

Seems not suitable huh 😅

Hmm...let her be

This is not the first time she gave me the silent treatment 😅....

It kinda normal to me

Be it her, other friend or my colleague

Certain people only find me

When they need my favour

When they want me to lend my ears...

But when I am in need

Or think about them

They just ignore me

I guess I should avoid this kinda people

No point thinking

Or worrying about them

Or feeling sympathy for them

If they never think or worry about me

Moreover dealing with them

Gonna make my life miserable 

So enough is enough

FULL STOP....

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