Sick and Alone

Few months ago 

Due to my health problem

I underwent certain procedure at KPJ

Then I underwent the same procedure at public hospital

As well as a test

Guess what?

Based on the test result

the doc just asked me to just bear with it

Seriously??😡😡

But it affect my daily life and focus to work🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

So I kinda getting upset and raised my voice

Finally the doc have refered me to undergo the MRI test at the main hospital

Even though I was really worried 

For driving there alone

And very risky in my condition

Not to mention I lost my way 😅

And hard to find the vacant parking

Anxiety of hearing the mri sound

And claustrophobic

And have to get inside the tube twice

Alhamdulillah I was safe and sound

Inside the changing room after the mri test

Unfortunately due to the late follow up action by the district hospital staff

Only after 3 months I got the result

Which was last week

I could not share the result here

But it made me shock, sad and in tears 😭😭

The doc had to refer me to "*......surgery"

Luckily they managed to arrange the appointment with that department for next week

But my problem is

Who gonna accompany me there?

Moreover my condition getting worst this week

I am really worry if something happened while I am driving

My family is at kampung

My friends here only my colleague

After all they definitely super busy

I do not like and seldom ask for help

But this time I have to do so

So I just asked my SIL this afternoon

In case she can come here

And accompany me

She not only just starting back with her work

After a week leave

But on the appointment date she has something too

So how???😭😭😭

Even though I understood her situation 

and her early arrangement

One thing I learnt here

I am not one of her priority

After all I should aware

Why bother to ask help from in laws

If I still have my own sibling

But I know them ....

To Allah I seek help 🤲🤲🤲

Please grant me ease in everything

And complete syifa

Kari sotong modify

Sabtu lepas...
Semangat berkobar nak pi ofis
Nak lengkapkan fail
Dan cari report yg entah ke mana

Macam biasa
Plan ke ofis hanya tinggal plan
Luckily ada kekuatan untuk kemas dapur
Dan sapu downstairs
Selebihnya dipenuhi TV, FB, IG dan makan...

For late lunch
I keluarkan kari sotong RnR
Ambil sikit kuahnya
Panaskan in pan
Tambah serbuk kari dan low fat milk
Masukkan terung dan tomato
Bila hampir the veges hampir masak
Barulah masukkan sotong dan kuah yg selebihnya.
Akhirnya jadilah begini ....

Hari Ahad
Pun tak ke ofis
Around 10am teringin fries
Maka gorenglah...

Tapi sebelum goreng tu taburlah italian herbs, grounded garlic and cajun. Yummy...

Then, here was my late lunch...

Ikan tenggiri bakar dan suhun+tempeh+terung goreng...
Laju je I makan 😅😅😅

Malam tu sambil tonton ABP2018
sambil check documents bertimbun tu
Alih2 ABP yg tonton I
😂😂😂

Ni antara movies astro yg I tonton that weekend..
1.Orphan
Esther a sweet and creative 9 yo orphan girl but so disturbed and very manipulative. Dikatakan berasal dari Rusia dan ibu bapa angkat terdahulu mati dalam kebakaran. Dia diambil sebagai anak angkat oleh famili yg ada seorang anak lelaki dan seorang anak perempuan yg pekak dan bisu. Pelbagai insiden berlaku dan si ibu mula meragui Esther. Beliau dihantar untuk sesi bersama psikiatri tiba2 si ibu pula dipersalahkan kerana tidak berusaha berbaik dengannya. Si bapa juga lebih mempercayai esther. Apabila kisah silamnya mula terbongkar, esther membunuh sister di orphan home yg datang ke rumahnya. Malah, dia mengungut adik angkatnya yg menyaksikan pembunuhan tersebut. Dia juga cuba membunuh abg angkatnya dengan membakar the tree house. Abang angkatnya mengalami kecederaan kerana terjatuh ketika menyelematkan diri. Olehkerana terlampau marah dengan apa yg berlaku, si ibu menamparnya ketika di hospital. Akibatnya si ibu ditahan. Ketika si ibu tiada, esther cuba mengoda ayahnya dengan berpakaian sebagai wanita. Melalui penyiasatannya si ibu mendapat tahu esther bukanlah kanak2 tetapi sebenarnya seorang wanita berusia 33 tahun yg mengalami hormon disorder. Beliau seorang pesakit mental berbahaya dan ganas yg telah membunuh 7 orang.

2. A surrogate's nightmare
Angela a surrogate mother for her sister Shelley. Their mother was killed. Suddenly her chilhood sweet heart wants to reconnect in their relationship and keep on disturbing her He became a stalker and even installed a hidden camera in her room. He thought that her brother in law is her boyfriend and due to jealousy he killed him. He tried to kill her sister too and suddenly angela revealed that her sister is actually their daughter 😅.

3. Big Driver
After Tess Thorne a famous mystery writer is raped by a truck driver and left to die, she somehow manages to survive and makes it her mission to seek revenge.

4. Extremely loud and incredibly close.
A boy embarks on a journey to find out the secret behind the key his late father left behind. He still trauma from the lost of his father during 9 11 tragedy and feel guilty for not answering the phone when his father call him several times and left the voice mail. He found a key in the broken vase and there is a name Black written on the key's envelope. So he made a very intensive searching for Black hoping to know what his father keep for him. He finally found out that the key is not belong to his father but actually belong to Black. Casts: Tom Hank and Sandra Bullock

5. The stepchild
Plagued by fragmented memories of her father's murder, ashley suspects her father's  friend is guilty. But only to find out later that her loving and caring stepmother is the killer.

6. Indiscretion
A steamy psychological thriller. Veronica, A politician wife had a brief affair with a troubled young artist. This man keep on infiltrate her life and accidentally killed her husband. To cut the story short veronica wins the in the election. When she visited the young artist in the prison the truth is revealed. She manipulated the artist and made him as a scapegoat in her political ambition.

5. The Grudge 2...only half duration 😅
An evil spirit locked in a house is unleashed when the house is burnt to the ground. Those who come to that house will be haunted and get killed.

6. Shut in
A widowed child psychologist  becomes convinced that the ghost of her young patient is haunting her and bedridden step son. But later only to find out that her step son is not as what he seems to be.

7. The Bachelor next door
A newly engaged couple are pleased when a handsome and friendly stranger moves in next door, but he is not what he seems. He was her her secret admirer while she was in college.

Eh banyaknya I tonton.
Tu tak termasuk 3 episod akhir Bahagia bukan bidaan 😅😅😅....

Tercapai hajat

In sept 2016...
I am not ready yet, but I know I have to force myself...How long do I have to wait till I am really ready? At least start with it, not properly, not completely but slowly.....Drastically change may turn me back to the old me ....

Early 2017...
Someone asked me...When I gonna wear something like my colleague is wearing? Kan cantik...Even though I was surprised and kinda annoyed with that question...I tried to hide it with fake smile and said I am not ready yet...It easier said than done. Hello...it is better I be like that than the old me. Definitely there were many challenges when we do something not fully hearted..The struggles are real....Sometimes I just wanna be the old me. But I have to be strong and keep going...

End 2017 till early 2018..
Eventhough I am still not completely changed but I tried to do something quite proper...But sometimes I just do what I wanna do. Anyway...it was quite funny when people said
""Eee...geramnya tengok u"
"Comelnya...." (Comel muka or badan mkin comel 😅😅😅)
"Muda 20 tahun" (Ko ingat aku tua sangatkah)
"Nampak lainlah"
"Makin berseri..." (I pakai lip balm yg ikut warna darah kak oi...nothing more)
"Makin comel..." (No point if you got more pimple 😰😰)
"La ..you ke...ingatkan our younger customer"
Well...all that were common...
Alhamdulillah if they really meant it...
But today it took me by surprise
When the senior grab my hand and shake it..
Hug me while saying my name 3 three times...
"... ke ... ke ... ke"
"Alhamdulillah ...hajat kak ...tercapai"
I just speechless for a moment
Then I asked...hajat apa?
"Ko tau lah...."
I guess I know why....
Yes, definitely I am happy coz by doing something I managed to make someone happy and fullfill her intention...
But I am really worried if she feel dissapointed when she saw me whenever I am not in the mood to do something properly....
Whateverlahkan
We live not for somebody else expectation etc....

Mood kerja ke laut

MY MONDAY

Biasa gitulah
Isnin confirm monday blues
Lagi2 jika dari kampung
Konom nak bangun awal dan bertolak sesudah subuh
Tapi hujan lebatkan...sedap tarik selimut 😅
End up bertolak 6.45am 😅😅
Tapi brekky cheese cake n coffee seawal itu 😂😂

Bila sampai teringin nak nasi kerabu sedap.
Cari tak jumpa
Call kawan tanya arah pun tak jumpa
Hmm...pi je la Medan Selera
Takde pula jual nasi kerabu
Beli je la nasi goreng for lunch
For morning snack makan epal sudah

Sampai office
Kena confirmkan dengan kawan which is my task
I totally forgotten
Maklumlah busy bebeno last week 😂😂😂
Luckily the most urgent task she was preparing it.
Then, I focused doing my task
Serba tak kena
Sekejap upgrade yg lama je
Tapi mana boleh guna bahan sama utk program berbeza
Sekejap ubah kes mcm parking lot
Macam tak menarik pula
Sekejap selongkar bahan rujukan
Pun tiada kes yang menarik
Sekejap nak buat building
Tapi tiada story behind it
Tetiba teringat something new in our organization that can be relate with that building
Alhamdulillah....I was really happy.
By 3pm it was settled

Anyway bengang pun ada
coz printing company senyap
Ko kata senin 10am nak hantar
Alih2 cutter machine rosak 😠😠
Whateverlahkan....tak larat nak fikir

Then case the rude junior with no common sense tu kan
And I jugak yg kena modify her work
As a result...I went back home quite late
And too tired to drop by at another place as what I have planned....

My tuesday....
7.30-8 40am
I started my day with 5 round running/jogging.

Then I had my brekky with these

9.00-10.20am
Banyak misi
Menampal kitchen sticker
Bersihkan bilik no2 dan letak carpet
Bersihkan bilik 3...adoi banyak fungus
Nak ubah kedudukan katil tak muat pula in horixontal position
Bersihkan master bedroom
Adoi...fungus n tahi cicak

11.30am
Off to work
Lunch
Had to hunting for atm machine 😰😰😰
Penat....
Went to collect materials for customers
Went to Gdex to pick up parcel

2pm
Balik rumah dan pengsan 😅😅
Then back to worklah

5.30pm
My customer came to collect documents for his group

7.30pm
Barulah balik 😁

MY WEDNESDAY
Pagi
Konom nk pi kerja awal
Tapi lewat gak
Ada event pulak tu...
So naik ofis ikut tangga kanan
Pi event ikut tangga kiri
Cabut dari event ikut tangga next building pulak
😂😂😂😂
Then pi n balik makan ikut tangga gak
Tang tangga sangat produktif
Tang keroje hmm.....
Emosi tak stabilkan
Apapun tak jadi....
Lately I mmg into ikan bakar n kerabu
Dah 2 hari mengadapnya 😁.
Nasi boleh kawal pengambilannya
Lauk susah sikit
Lagi2 bila mkn di kedai 😂😂

Petang
Sempat exercise
Even though not as energetic as usual
Exercise can release my stress sikit
Tupun sedikit terganggu once I heard about the appointment of the new boss...

Malam
Reward myself with 233 kcal ice cream 😅😅😅 for losing weight...not much loss but still in normal range....

Tak sedar diri ek...
Turun berat sikit je
Tp pi reward myself with high calories snack 😅😅
Stress kan....
Kira release stress by having something sweet for my tooth 😉😉😉

Had this for dinner

Then perabih KDrama Sweet Enemy ep 123 and 124
Very dissapointing ending
How la heroin end up with the second hero 😭
Dah la banyak tak logik cerita ni
Bila dapat bukti
Pi serang penjenayah
Inatead of pi serah kat polis
Penjenayah n keluarganya sentiasa terlepas
Macamlah orang korea ni asyik tertipu dan tertindas
Dan polisnya tiada usaha 😂😂😂
Hanya pada episod 122 kot penjenayah ditangkap dan disabit kesalahan 😂😂
Tapi aku pun satu
Yg pi tengok jugak dah kenapa 😅😅😅


MY THURSDAY
apalagi tulis blog ni pepagilah 😂😂
Oklah nak jemur kain
Nak siap pi keroje....

Mission to lose weight: 751 kcal a day

I pelik sangat how my friends' calories intake was less than their recommended calories. Mine always on point or greater than the recommended calories. Sometimes I feel stress just to control what to eat 😅.

However, I am quite shocked yesterday when my calories intake was 751 kcal only. I thought I ate a lot yesterday. Cuma brekky tak sempat ada hiasan coz kalut. Lunch pun tak sempat keluar cari nasi. Dinner pulak teringin makan sup sayur dan telur.

Tiba2 tergigit cili. Podeh bona. Memang tak tahan. Buka peti sejuk terus ngap aiskrim 😂😂😂. Anyway, bawah ni my calories counter for yesterday....

Itulah bila hari yg kalut...begitulah jadinya. Tapi coach kata sebaiknya ikutlah our recommended calories intake for example mine is 1200 kcal coz it may harmful to the body if I took less than that. I searched the internet...one of the effect it may lower the metabolism which is not good for the body.

Anyway just for the record...my weight was 57kg last week. But it was 60kg using the coach weight scale yesterday...really can't accept that...60 kg???. Mesti rosak tu 😂😂😂. But just want to stick to my weight scale...And guess what this morning my weight is 56kg...yeay...the result of controlling calories intake. Exercise setakat brisk walk sesikit je within these 5 days kot. Takkanlah exercise semalam yg ada jumping jack, squat,lunges, plank etc terus turun 1 kg kan 😁.....

Hi stalker

Tak sangka ek

Blog gini pun ada stalker ek.
Ada beza silent reader and stalker kan 😉😉
Takpelah janji ko bahagia
Takpelah ....
asalkan ko tak ganggu kebahagianku
Asalkan ko tak jaja kisahku
You cannot judge me just based on this blog
I do not write everything here

Why am I blogging?
Definitely not for you.
It is for me, myself and I 😍😍😍
My journal
My memory training...
It is a bonus if my blog post can inspire others to be a better person
Walaupun sebenarnya banyak bebel 😂😂😂

Nampak muda

Semalam lewat pi ofis. Semak dan settlekan apa yg perlu diemel.

Then meeting with customer. Hah! Terkial2 korang nak mengoogle ya. Whatsapp n Fb pandai 😂😂😂.

Terserempak exboss semasa lunch hour. I senyum je la.
X-boss: Legalah sekarang tak jadi ....
Me: lega sangat, hilang stress
X-boss: : tu la nampak muda
Me: ha 😅😅
X-boss: nampak ceria

😂😂😂😂....tu la bila dah lepas bebanan.
Memang sangat beza antara belakang tadbir n front line 😁😁😁😁.....

Borak pula dengan rakan. Bila frontline pun banyak jenis...direct to the top management or just in the unit. Both got their challenges...People can say anything but wait till them in our shoes. Ko tunggu....😂😂😂😂.

Then jumpa  pula sekumpulan orang. Kita nak beri briefing pasal regulation dia sibuk chit chattinh. So rude. Then terkial2 nak explain 😠😠😠. Bila sentap buat muka. Ada juga yg sengih2...Tapi di luar dok cakap kita ni  very district....ingat kita tak dengar. Habis tu baru jumpa pun dah biadap takkan I nak senyum dan biarkan je....kami nak berurusan lama.

Petang tu excited nak sign up for training. Tspi bila balik teringin nak kudap jambu. Teringin pula nak goreng pisang. Beli je RM1...Tapi dapat sedekah RM3 😁. Takkan nak tolakkan....So how to control my diet 😅😅😅.

Urus Sendiri Part 13: Allah Maha Mendengar

Minggu ni memang busy
Selain tak sihat
So memang tak sempat nak mengejar orang

Pagi semalam dah plan
Mesti hubungi both tenant and owner on that day
Tapi tak terbuat
Takpelah mungkin jumaat

Lepas solat Isyak
I memang berdoa dengan sepenuh hati
Memang penuh harapan dan keyakinan
Supaya urusan dgn mereka dll dipermudahkan
Memang saya tak larat nak tanggung

Surprisingly selepas 10pm I received a message from the owner
He wonder why I have been quiet
He thought that mine is ok
So I informed him there is still problem with space 1
There is a new problem with space 2
I even sent him both pictures
Told him that the tenant has came n checked space 1
He said he gonna discuss with him
To do the hacking and all
But few weeks have passed
I did not see or hear any  repair work.
Several contractors told me that it should be done properly ie hacking not just applying the chemical
I sent him messages on 17 and 30 oct
But I did not receive any response.
Suddenly the owner said he got free time today
So he will see the problem by himself
And we should discuss.
Alhamdulillah...thank you Allah
Hopefully our discussion will be fruitful
And my problem will be settled soon.
InsyaAllah...

Bila fikir semula selain doa dan
Kun faya kun...
If it's meant to be
It will be...
Mungkin juga Allah beri as whatever I done yesterday
The banana hunting
Helping the customer
Helping my boss
Sharing tauhu begedil 😅
Please bare in mind ya
I have no intention to be riak or whatever
It may small matters to others
But for me it really means a lot
Here we can see
The power of Doa
The power of Sedekah
The power of ease other people affairs
It reminds me that Allah is the greatest,
The most beneficient and the most merciful
It inspire me to be kind to others
I hope by reading this it will inspire you to do the same too...
Something like Oprah says
The ripple effect of kindness
No haters please
If you Hate it, then leave it
Eh ayat macam retis fofular 😂😂😂

Croissant for brekky

Bolehlah tahan croissantnya

Lupa pulak brand apa.
Apapun definitely I prefer freshly baked croissant at Quality Hotel 😍😍.

Semalam brekky ni...

Setakat itupun nak tunjuk ek 😛😛
Kering rentung frankfutternya 😂😂.
Apa taknya defrost dalam microwave dan grilled on pan...

Dah dua hari ni memang tak aktiflah
Banyak buang masa.
Gossip terbaru pun tahu 😂😂.
Senyum je la tengok kipas susah mati bergaduh
Takut pun ada dengan obses mereka
Moral of the story ....
Tak tahu hujung pangkal jgn cepat kecoh
Jangan aibkan orang
Kenapa keluarkan hashtag yg mengundang kontroversi dan sakit hati
Kalau ko ada masalah dengan orang tu janganlah libatkan famili dan fizikalnya
Tang mana profesionalnya.
Eh...macam biased pulak 😅😅😅

Perlu berubahlah
Perlu bijak urus masa
Perlu buat jadual
Perlu disiplin

Malulah pada orang yg berkeluarga dan ramai anak
Kerjaya cemerlang,
program berkaitan kerja sana sini,
pegang jawatan
Pejabat kemas dan bersih
Rumah terjaga
Ada bisnes
Rumah sana sini
Tapi
ada masa terlibat dengan program amal dan sosial
Menyertai sukan
Sempat balik kampung
Sempat jenguk anak di asrama
Sempat melancong

Aku?????

Sendiri mau ingat dan fikir?
Sabtu pagi just beri makluman to customer and arahan kerja to colleague via whatsapp.
Then entah apa yg I buat.
Kemas dapur pun tak habis
Dah 7am baru terhegeh keluar cari susu tp takde.
Tiba2 melencong pi thai restaurant
Dah malam baru terhegeh monitor customer progress. Hantar whatsapp tak reply pun 😠.

Pagi ni konon nak start early morning.
Tapi dah pukul 11 baru keluar dan bersihkan porch.
Oklah nak pi handwashing jap.
Sesilap tengok melodi 😉😉😉😉

When life upside down

Hari Isninku terasa seperti zombie.
12.30 baru nak tidur, 5am bangun, 6am bertolak, 8am singgah kedai, 8.40am kalut prepare nak jumpa customer, 9am meeting with customer, 12.30pm jumpa boss, then prepare bhn n emel to him.2.30pm meeting, 4.30 kalut pi headquarters jumpa boss besar.....malam pengsan.

Hari khamisku lagilah parah, tidur 1 jam je.
12.00am baru nk buat presentation slide for new customers.. 5am cuba nk tidur tapi x boleh. 6-7am bolehlah lelap jugak.8-10am meeting with customer. Then kalut prepare material for 10.30 meeting with colleague. Menahan sabar when people keep on asking/discussing irelevant or not so important questions and we ended up finish our meeting around 1.30pm. Yg sakit hati dahla kita penat, lapar dan kalut, ada juga yg sibuk jugak nk discuss lagi. Tak faham2 juga sampai I raise up my voice. Then, bila kita sedang makan laju2 pun ada juga yg nak bercakap lagi. Adoiii...Please give me some. Then, kalut bersiap. 2.30pm meeting with new customer. 4.15pm balik ofis...jadi blank. Dok saling meluah perasan dengan friend for nearly 2 hours.

Sampai bila nak hidup macam ni? Ada orang lagilah byk kerja dan padat jadualnya, boleh je hadapi dengan tenang. But me...it really difficult for me.

Being cruel ???

Sometimes when people in need we have to refuse their request. It does not mean that we have no sympathy to people and do not want to help. It just not the right time...not being able to help at the moment. A test and trial for some people is a test to us as well on how we react and deal with it...

Aduhai ....

Bila petang terkesima mendengar.
Wahai yang berkenaan...
 tolonglah jaga amanah Allah.
Janganlah perlakukan mereka macam batang kayu,
Janganlah buang mereka....
Bila mereka pun sama menyingkir juga, mereka kata lega...
Mereka dah tak mahu fikir...
Tapi bahagiakah mereka?
Tenangkah mereka?
Hidup tanpa restu?
Bagaimana dibuat mereka, begitulah mereka pada orang lain...
Mereka nampak orang lain semua salah...
Mereka macam tiada arah...
Mereka asyik nak lari dari masalah...
Sampai bila????
Bersama pula dengan rakan2 yang sekapal...
Solat pula sekali sekala...

Bila lewat petang, hati membara pula...
Kenapalah sekumpulan itu selalu jadi mangsa?
Dipinggirkan
Dilupakan
I tahu, itu program orang lain.
I tak patut menyibuk
Tapi I rasa tak adil bila kumpulan itu dianaktirikan
Mereka pun penyumbang ekonomi organisasi juga.
Kasihanilah mereka!!!!
I rasa terkilan dengan orang yg menguruskan
sudah la lepas tangan suruh orang lain yang buat
data sulit pun dibuat mainan
Ini pulak meminggirkan.
kalau asalnya memang terlupa, takpelah.
Bila dah disuarakan pun tak nak libatkan kumpulan itu.

Bila malam hari, rasa meletup2 pula....

Biarlah rahsia

Berserah kepadaNya

Pagi khamis, I tersedar on something when checking the  internet and my handphone screen capture. Saya menghubungi beberapa pihak yang terlibat, pergi ke cawangan terdekat dan juga membuat laporan polis. Pada mulanya memang saya sangat terkejut, tetapi tenang dan tabah kerana saya percaya thing happened for a reason. Tiba2 sahaja saya sebak ketika mengadu dengan rakan dan entah berapa kali air mataku tumpah. How can I be so careless? Kenapa tak NAMPAK walaupun disebut? Mengapa tak semak? Bukan saya tak biasa buat. Dah lebih 10 tahun kot....Ada juga yang bukan nak menenangkan kita, tapi mempertikaikan apa yang kita dah buat dan bercerita apa yang dia biasa buat. FAHAM TAK BENDA NAK JADI??? Agaknya mereka ini tidak pernah diuji dengan perkara yang tidak disangka2.

Berusaha selagi boleh,
tidak putus berdoa memohon kepadaNya,
Recite doa nabi Yunus,
Berzikir Ya Aziz, Ya Jabbar, Ya Mutakabbir,
Ya Fatah, Ya Wahab, Ya Razak,
Memohon rakan2 mendoakan,
Malah ada rakan yang bersolat hajat,
Yakin Allah is with us,
Dan berserah kepadaNya....

Apa sahaja kemungkinan saya terima....
Jika dikembalikan, memang itu rezeki saya
Jika tidak, mungkin itu ujian dan peringatan untuk saya...

Bagai mimpi di siang hari ....
Rupa-rupanya Allah hanya uji saya sebentar sahaja dan kembalikannya....
ALHAMDULILLAH.
Nikmat yang manakah nak didustakah????
Maka niat jika hak I dikembalikan, I akan buat spmethig perlu dilaksanakan segera.

Expect the Unexpected....

Be prepared for any unexpected thing.
Do not expect that everything should be perfect.
So when thing happened not as what we want it to be, we won't feel too disappointed.
When there is nothing else that can be done....
Accept it and move on ...

Seorang vs rumah besar

I called my neighbour this morning and told him that I am constructing a half wall dividing our porch replacing the green chicken wire fence. I asked his permission to put my book rack, coffee table and the construction equipment outside his long abandoned house temporarily. Alhamdulillah he didnt mind at all for me to do so as long as I tak robohkan or pecahkan rumahnya hehehe....

Hmmm....what made me kinda surprised when he uttered

Belakang dah tambah

depan pun tambah

rumah dah besar

tapi duduk sorang

bila nak berduanya 

I can only say ......

Tu la...

tolong doakan ya

My house is just an intermediate terrace house..Itu pun orang dah tertanya2 dan berkata2. I just wonder what would they say if I stayed all by myself  in bigger house or compound such as corner lot, semiD house or bungalow...hmmmm.. 

I think it is now not a surprising matter in Malaysia...But...ya...certain people can hardly accept it. Saya tak marah, jauh sekali terasa hati kerana dah mangli....juga telah bersedia dengan kata2 begitu. But...what can I do if it is not the time yet??? Let people talk....Let people say whatever they want to....It is interesting to observe that this people can only say but neither help nor support people like me ;))))....whatever...life must go on..LIVE IT, ENJOY IT.

Hilang mesej

Disebabkan stress psl kes yg x dijangka dan pasal orang yg tuduh I unfair,  I mengadu kepada 2 orang rakan via whatsapp. Tapi bila fikir balik tak baik I mengadu domba I deleted message tu. Lagipun rakan2 tu masih x baca mesej tu.

Tapi bila I google rupa2nya walaupun kita dah delete message tu rakan2 masih boleh baca mesej tu in their conversation history.

Then, I rasa ralat pula delete message tu coz ada juga info penting. Bila google kita boleh restore message tu dgn cara uninstall n reinstall whatsapp. Malangnya, semua message semalam cannot be retrieved. Hanya mesej dari previous days yg boleh restore. Adoi...dah la bamyak sangat mesej penting. Hmm nilah akibatnya bila buat juga perkara yg kita RASA tak patut dibuat dari awal. Tapi ada juga hikmahnya supaya i tak asyik baca dan teringat2 that 'unfair' conversation

Merajuk or Mengalah????

Siapa yang tidak sedih apabila dikata dan dituduh yang bukan2  hanya kerana tidak dapat menolong seseorang. Pertolongan dihulurkan jika kita berkemampuan. Bukan hanya dari segi duit, aset malah masa juga. Bagaimana hendak menolong jika kita terikat dengan kerja? Susah sangatkah nak faham?

Tidak jawab panggilan telefon pun jadi isu.
Bagaimana nak jawab panggilan telefon ketika kita sedang kalut dan gementar memandu ke destinasi tertentu? Bagaimana kita nak dengar panggilan telefon yang dalam silent mode? Tambahan pula ketika sibuk berbincang dengan pelanggan.

Tak percaya kita sibuk bekerja pula.
Sanggup datang rumah untuk pastikan. Malah tanya orang di rumah bila kita keluar dan bila kita balik.

Bila tidak dapat apa yang dikehendaki mulalah mengungkit, mulalah menyebut2 tidak akan menolong jika saya pula kesempitan.

Kita pun punya hati dan perasaan. Kita pun boleh marah bila dituduh dan jauh hati bila orang menyebut2.

Dah puas mengata kita, tiba2 ada hati pula nak dapatkan sesuatu dari kita. Hina sangat rasanya bila tidak bercakap terus dengan kita, tapi ada perantara. Ego tapi boleh pula nak minta harga murah. Kehendak ditolak pasti timbul amarah.

Enggan luka menjadi nanah
Enggan yang kecil jadi parah
Dihantui rasa bersalah
Walaupun bukan punca masalah
Terganggu walau ke mana kaki melangkah
Berdoa mohon ditunjuk arah
Akhirnya terbuka hati untuk mengalah
Malangnya panggilan tidak berjawab sampai ke sudah.

Sepatutnya kita yang merajuk kerana diperlakukan sebegitu, sebaliknya orang lain yang lebih2. Bila difikirkan kembali patutlah dilorongkan untuk tidak menolong rupa2 nya apa yang diminta penuh penipuan. Tidaklah mengejutkan kerana dari awal lagi sudah boleh nampak reaksi janggal dan dengar kata2 yang berputar belit.

Carelessness costs me half a thousand ringgit

Who knows it could be my life too...
Believe it or not, the day before I got the instinct that something might happen today or later.
Yeap! It really happened this afternoon.
Although that early sense made me prepared and accept whatever would happen, but still I can't avoid feeling a little bit panic at the beginning.
A test and reminder from Allah...

I will share the story later.

TV mogok di hari pekerja

Selamat Hari Pekerja

Maka hari ini saya memang rehat sakan di pagi hari.
Macam2 plan telah dibuat.

Konon nak pi jogging, tapi macam tak larat pulak. Maka ikut je la recorded cardio exercise by Jillian Michael at Channel 728. Baru 20 min, saya pancit ..........

Konon nak basuh baju, lipat baju dan iron baju.
Tapi dok berlengkar atas sofa membaca majalah dapur sambil menonton Primadona, bersambung pulak ke recorded Sister Act 2.

Konon nak siapkan projek yang sudah 2 bulan tak bersentuh
Tapi pi reheat leftover tomyam and nasi goreng, had lunch

then entah camna terlelap kekenyangan.

Konon tengahari nak pi pekan cari mentol dan microwave oven.
Tapi membelek majalah Dapur lagi.

Dah petang baru terhegeh-hegeh basuh baju, kemas bilik sambil menunggu simulation. Slow giler simulation, sometimes terus tiada result.

Then pi Secret Recipe. Huhu nak spageti bolognese tapi beef habis pulak. So beli je spagetti aglio olio dan kids fish n chips.

Balik rumah switch on TV, awatlah gambar tak kuar huhu....pulak tu stucked at Channel 102. Penatlah I mencabut dan mencucuk semula wayar di tepi dan belakang TV selain kat decoder. I dok mengadap dari 6.30-8.08pm..akhirnya dapat jugak tukar Channel tapi gambar tetap tak keluar huhu....So kita dengar audio for Channel 104 je la.

I was so stressed...tau2 fish n chips dah habis....

Perlu beli TV baru kah? Perlu cari technician/electrician kah? Yang pasti kedua-duanya perlu duit...Nampaknya msih tak tercapai hajat nak belikan TV baru untuk rumah di kampung...

Buat entri ni pun sambil tunggu simulation. Nampaknya tiada result untuk certain parameter. Takpelah...type je la result yang ada dan sumbat je la dalam unfinished article tuh. Rasanya my spv (or should I say my x-spv) dah lama sabar menanti hehhehe.

Apapun...Satu yang saya patut ingat...almost every week sejak saya kembali, ada saja kerosakan...udah macam kerosakan bersiri. One after another. Terkesan dengan kata-kata my friends few weeks ago. Katanya saya ni macam2 hal lah. Lantas dia membuka cerita pasal seorang rakan yang ada masalah bertimpa-timpa. Ditanyakan kawan itu adakah dia ada berbuat apa2. Yelahkan kita ni bekerja makan gaji. Berkatkah gaji kita? Cukupkah waktu kerja kita? Kalau masa cukup pun, adakah kita benar2 bekerja di waktu kerja? Bersihkan gaji kita? Ya saya baru tahu, tahun lepas saya tak bayar zakat pendapatan. Itupun dari panggilan yang dibuat ke Pusat Zakat NS. Hanya zakat simpanan saja dah dibayar. Tapi bila fikir semula...memang saya tanggung diri sendiri di OZ selama beberapa bulan. Adakah kita menunaikan tanggungjawab sebagai anak? Biar sedikit, tapi perlu pastikan ada bahagian untuk parents. Eh! dah lama tak sembang dengan parents. Adakah kita telah membayar hutang? Hmm..baru je bayar RM741 kat kawan semalam. Terharu dia mendahulukan duitnya membayar bil pembetungan dan cukai majlis perbandaran.