Sad and Unsatisfying Ending

Snowdrop....

Who follow this kdrama?

Last month asyik keluar di IG

Tertarik utk tonton

Tapi ada terbaca ada pihak yg protes drama ini

And cuba untuk hentikan tayangan

But biasalah kejap nak tengok

Kejap tak nak

Di youtube pastilah tiada yg complete

Memang ada pilihan utk tgk at certain k-drama website

Tapi mcm kena download apatah

After all ikut kebiasaan terdahulu byk iklan

Promo di astro pun ada

Tapi dalam disney hotstar

Tapi I dah terlepas tarikh utk activate

So biarlah je la...

Tiba2 I dapat mesej dari astro on saturday 22 jan

Kata i belum activate that free package

Benda free jgn ditolak 😅

Bila tgk package ni biasa je

Ada movie+drama lama+baru

But pastilah pilihan yg sikit saja

Whateverlah...

Yg penting boleh tonton yg nk ditonton

Maka, last weekend bermarathonlah I menonton

Sehinggalah cuti thaipusam till ep 13

Lepas tu padan muka tertunggu ep 14

Hari sabtu 29 jan my schedule was packed

Apalagi hadap customerlah 😅

10.30am-2pm

4-6.20pm

8.30-11.20pm

So 30 jan pagi baru dapat tonton ep 14

Tertunggu2 lah ep15

Only dah nearly midnite baru ada ep15.

Bila habisnya je tonton on 31 jan 1.30am

Eh...ep16 dah ada....

Maka, at 3am tamatlah sudah my new addiction

Walaupun expected ending

But still sad and unsatisfying ending

This feeling just like watching ...

the ending of Scarlet Heart and The Red Sleeve

#BDP01022022

RM1

Petang khamis 27 jan 2022

Setelah selesai masukkan plastik sampah dalam tong sampah di luar

I ternampak duit di atas rumput 

Confirmlah tak berani nak ambil

Coz di atas rumput depan rumah jiran

Walaupun hanya sebelah my tong sampah

Lagipun ada baca 2 months ago

Macam orang nak sihir ke apatah

Lagipun RM 1 je...

Entah2 duit budak sekolah cicir ke

Takpun org TNB etc...

So bila nak pi kerja

Kalut dah lewat

Pandu kereta keluar 

Nampak org dok potong rumput area situ

Terfikir agak2 dia nampak tak RM1 tu

Elok je I toleh semula mmg nampak dia ambil duit tu 😅

Selamba je lipat and masuk kocek

Kot la nak tanya duit I ke 🤣🤣🤣...

But anyway rezeki bangla rupanya...

#BDP01022022

Is feeling grateful a test?

Last nite I saw an FB post

Someone felt upset 

and stress dealing with a bossy colleague.

It is good for her to reverse that bad feeling 

to the positive one

By trying to understand if she was in her colleague shoes

and by being grateful with what she has

Her complete life ...

In compared to her colleague...

No children

No husband

No family

No friend

Alone and lonely

But for me 

by listing what the colleague does not has

IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA

and receiving the comment from others

who added more salt to wound

is not COOL

Double blow to this so called uncomplete life people

Maybe certain people can take it openly

And positively

But please remember

Not all people can easily accept it

You see...

By trying to reflect herself in the social media

She forgot that she would hurt the feeling

of those who in the similar shoes as her colleague...

Even worse...feeling down...

Life is a test.....

A test for those who has uncomplete life

As well as those who has COMPLETE life...

New Year

Happy New Year 🎉🎉

I have yet to list down my new year resolution

But I guess the main one

Definitely to achieve my previous years resolution 😅🤦‍♀️😁

But one thing that made me SENTAP last Friday kot

Listening to IKIM radio while on my way to work

BILA DAH ADA LADANG PAHALA 

KENAPA TAK DIUSAHAKAN

MELAINKAN KITA LEMAH DAN MALAS UNTUK BERAMAL

Insaflah sekejap.

Tapi on New Year almost seharian buat benda merepek and membuang masa 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Antaranya pi marathon menonton kdrama

The Red Sleeve...ep 1-7

Padahal boleh je agak jalan cerita awal

Semasa first time tiba2 tertengok ep 11 few weeks ago...

Nak sedapkan hati ada jugaklah dalam 3 jam

I semak dokumen customer

And mengejar customers...

Oklah nk sambung sat ep 8 pulak

Then nak semak dokumen 2 customers yg paling liat 😅

Isi two main documents for next week

Write the FAQ for another document

Yg penting kemas rumah, lipat timbunan kain dan handwash delicate clothes

So tang mana weekend itu utk berehat?

Maybe certain people do not understand our nature of work

Definitely never ending work

If we did not continue doing it

By staying up late at nite

Or during weekend 

We will be in trouble

No mercy if we passed the deadline

Bila orang tanya

Tak balik kg ke

Kita kata taklah

Banyak kerja

Tiba2 orang kata nak datang rumah

So kita pun minta maaf

Dan cakap kita busy

Ingatkan faham

Tapi org kata sekejap je

Dah dapat tandatangan dia balik

Adoilah

Tak larat nak explain

I serabut

I tak larat

Not in the mood to meet people

Kerja banyak

Rumah bersepah

Tapi terfikir juga

Kenapa bersusah nak drive 2 jam

Semata2 utk cari I

Punyalah ramai saudara mara lain

yg dekat2 dan hebat2

Yang selalu pi bercuti bersama

Kenapa tiba2 cari I? 😅

Lagipun we are not that close

She is closer to my cousins 

Even to the cousins of that cousins 

Bukan tak mau tolong

Cuma not the right time

Lagipun byk option lain

Bila kembali WFO

Makin teruk my performance

So slow

Tak larat

Forgetful

And I notice I forgot most of my colleagues' and main office phone extension numbers 😅😅😅

The worse when I wanna call a customer

So I found his phone number in email and called him

Guess what my office phone suddenly ringing

See I even forgot my phone numbers

🤦‍♀️😅🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sick and Alone

Few months ago 

Due to my health problem

I underwent certain procedure at KPJ

Then I underwent the same procedure at public hospital

As well as a test

Guess what?

Based on the test result

the doc just asked me to just bear with it

Seriously??😡😡

But it affect my daily life and focus to work🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

So I kinda getting upset and raised my voice

Finally the doc have refered me to undergo the MRI test at the main hospital

Even though I was really worried 

For driving there alone

And very risky in my condition

Not to mention I lost my way 😅

And hard to find the vacant parking

Anxiety of hearing the mri sound

And claustrophobic

And have to get inside the tube twice

Alhamdulillah I was safe and sound

Inside the changing room after the mri test

Unfortunately due to the late follow up action by the district hospital staff

Only after 3 months I got the result

Which was last week

I could not share the result here

But it made me shock, sad and in tears 😭😭

The doc had to refer me to "*......surgery"

Luckily they managed to arrange the appointment with that department for next week

But my problem is

Who gonna accompany me there?

Moreover my condition getting worst this week

I am really worry if something happened while I am driving

My family is at kampung

My friends here only my colleague

After all they definitely super busy

I do not like and seldom ask for help

But this time I have to do so

So I just asked my SIL this afternoon

In case she can come here

And accompany me

She not only just starting back with her work

After a week leave

But on the appointment date she has something too

So how???😭😭😭

Even though I understood her situation 

and her early arrangement

One thing I learnt here

I am not one of her priority

After all I should aware

Why bother to ask help from in laws

If I still have my own sibling

But I know them ....

To Allah I seek help 🤲🤲🤲

Please grant me ease in everything

And complete syifa

Akhirnya

Akhirnya....

Setelah 2 bulan 

Last nite barulah aku buka TV

Tu pun tonton recorded movie 😅

The Doorman 

Lepas tu sambung Best Friend Betrayal pula

Konon nak rehatkan minda 😅

Alkisahnya lewat petang sabtu till 8pm

Dok ngadap dokumen

Edit untuk customer....

Untuk mudahkan semua pihak

Harap customer bersyukurlah

Dan usaha buat yg terbaik

Jika sebaliknya....

Tak tahulah nak cakap apa

Sejak 31 Ogos

Addicted dengan IG, Youtube dan program in Dailymotion...

Apalah nak jadi kan

Suppose makin usia meningkat

Semakin tinggalkan benda2 gini 🤦‍♀️

Semakin banyakkan ibadah dan zikir 😭

Tolong doakan untuk saya ya...

Akhirnya....

Setelah 2 bulan membeli mee udon dan udang

Setelah 2 kali sawi menguning dan taugeh membusuk

Maka, terjadilah....

Udon black pepper 😁😁

Bukan harta mereka

Orang memang macam2

Bila harta kita

Bukan harta mereka

Mereka peduli apa

Jika berbulan2 kita tak balik

Berbulan2 bilik terbiar

Berdebu

Penuh tahi cicak

Tapi satu persatu barang hilang

Tanpa sebutir kata

Sama ada terus lenyap

Atau rosak di bilik lain

Bila harta kita yang ditinggalkan

Untuk kegunaan bersama

Jagalah baik2

Jangan dicalar 

Jangan digesel

Rosak?

Uruskanlah 

Insurans dan Roadtax?

Kadang kita yg bayar

Kemalangan?

Cepat2lah baiki

Maklumkanlah perkembangan terkini

Kenapa 4 bulan senyap?

Hmm...anak siapa yg bawa?

Kalau anak tak tahu uruskan

Mak ayah kenalah ambil tahu

Perlulah bertanggungjawab

Bila tanya apa status

Kenapa pihak insurans senyap je

Takkan nak jadi besi karat

Bila tanya ada report polis

Tak tahu apa

Nak kena tanya si atuk pula 🤦‍♀️😡

Dah hampir seminggu baru nak update

Tu pun hanya inform dah report polis

Yg lain2 kena tanya satu persatu2 🤦‍♀️😡

Sikit2 nak tanya atuknya

Habih korang parents buat apa

Memanglah itu harta aku

Bukan harta korang

Memanglah barang lama

Tapi tetap berfungsi utk korang di sana

Memanglah itu aku beli

Bukan korang beli

Tapi mana rasa tanggungjawab?

Kenapa nak lepas tangan?

Geram

Sedih

Kecewa...

Serabut!!!!

Semua nak kena hadap

Semua nak kena fikir

Banyak n sibuk kerja tu biasa

Tapi penat dengan sikap manusia

Perangai tempat kerja lain

Perangai di sana pula lain....

Aku pantang betul

Harta aku

Tapi orang buat aku terhegeh2

Buat aku macam peminta sedekah

Takkan nak tunggu aku balik

Nak aku juga yg uruskan semula...

Reminiscing Winter Sonata

 Lately dok dengar lagu BTS, Adele, Christina Perry, Celine Dion and Maher Zain je....

Tiba2 semalam teringat k-drama dedulu,  Winter Sonata

Malam ni teringat pula Autumn in my heart.

Tapi lupa jalan ceritanya

So googlelah....

Sambil baca sinopsis 

sambil dengar OST

Tak semena2 rasa sebak 

Berjuraian air mata

😭😭😭

Dah kenapa???

Emosi sangat???

🤦‍♀️😅😁🤣

Friday nagging...

Bila emosi masih terganggu

Kerja pula banyak

Long list of things to do

Nak semak itu ini

Nak buat laporan itu ini

Tapi banyak perkara tak selesai

Jadi tertangguh

Sukar dipantau

Due to certain party yg byk songeh

Dia lagi besar dari big big boss 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Benda boleh settle sehari

Jadi hampir 45 hari

Sikit2 nak memo

Org biasa2 tak boleh hantar memo

Nak emel satu persatu bagi setiap task

Tak mau emel yg ada senarai task 😡

Masalahnya ko selamba terlepas pandang email

Nak isi borang itu ini

Nak lengkapkan fail itu ini

Nak muatnaik bahan itu ini

Nak update bahan itu ini

Nak sediakan bahan itu ini

Nak kejar customer itu ini

Rumah macam tongkang pecah

Tanaman kuning melayu kekeringan

Tadi semasa proses semakan 

Ternampak sesuatu dalam sistem

Ini tak boleh jadi

Biasa perlu hadap 1-2 sahaja

Kenapa kali ini 3

Ini tidak adil !!!

Bila ditanya pada leader

Dia pun terkejut

Coz senarai yg dia buat lain

So bagaimana senarai dalam sistem berbeza?

Bila ditanya kepada boss

Bagaimana boleh jadi gitu?

Bunyi macam benda kecik

Oklah jika as dummy temporarily

But still kena fikir risiko dan kesan to me

Nanti my work schedule pasti kacau bilau lagi

Yg sekarang ni pun masih tak selesai

So it is better to settle everyrhing at the early stage

To avoid the same thing happen again

But a bit dissappointed with the boss

Bila ditanya siapa yg masukkan dalam sistem

Coz ikut pengalaman, unit kamilah yg masukkan

In fact during my time...

I was the one who keyed in everything in the system

Dengan yakinnya dia menjawab pihak lain 😅

But when I asked the unit clerk

Definitely she was the one who keyed in it 🤣🤣

How come the boss did not know about it 😅

Moreover, later the leader called me

She actually have forgotten that she asked the clerk to put my name 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

Moral of the story

If you feel you are treated unfairly

Then you should make an enquiry

No harm in informing and asking

But....hello

If you aren't sure of certain things

Just try to get the fact right

Before you telling incorrect things 🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes we think highly of certain people

But they also normal human

....not perfect 😊😁

Well that is life

And we should have the strong courage

To tell them that they are wrong 😁

Perlu sedar diri

Bila terlalu sayang
Bila terlalu risau
Kita perlu sedar diri

Perlu ada had
Itu anak orang lain
Bukan anak kita

Bila niat kita baik
Kita beri pelbagai cadangan
Kita minta disegerakan
Kita perlu sedar diri
Kita perlu terima
Orang mungkin salah faham

Tak cakap pada kita

Tapi lepaskan pada orang lain
Kata kita memaksa
Kata dia tahu nak buat apa
Itu anak dia

Kita perlu sedar diri
Kita perlu ingat
Itu hak orang
Jika memberi amaran pada yg menyampaikan
Perlu minta persetujuan dia sebelum sampaikan pada kita

Kita perlu sedar diri
Kita perlu faham
Mungkin sebenarnya orang itu terkejut
Mungkin sedih
Mungkin sukar terima anaknya kurang sihat
Maka dilepaskan kesedihan dan kekecewaan yg terpendam kepada orang lain

Kita perlu sedar diri
Di mana kita dalam hati mereka
Tak semua orang ada semangat kekeluargaan
Maka baiklah berdiam diri
Tak perlu bertanya
Tak perlu berkata-kata
Jika orang enggan memberitahu

Kita perlu sedar diri
Dan persiapkan diri
Bila sampai masanya nanti
Memang tiada lansung yg peduli
Hadapilah sendiri ....
😭😭😭😭