Nothing

Out of sudden I am feeling down...
Running tears ....
I am sick of everything
How I wish everything ends ....

When I delegate my work,
people think that I am taking advantages on them
Making them stress
Complaining in facebook
Yes...I am aware of that,
I got the allowance for the work
They just helping me and got nothing

When sometimes I try talk to them to do extra work based on their expertise
They demanded this and that
Talk behind my back
In fact someone hinted not to pijak and aniaya orang
Konon peringatan utk diri sendiri
Tapi sebenarnya reminder for me

Whenever I point out certain instruction
People akways complain it is not clear
Yes..i know I am not good in communication

When I held a meeting
People do not the understand the material that i have prepared and rather pushy in offering his help.
It just that I didnt have time, that is why the material looks terrible
I do not want to feel in debt with people
After all it is my job, why I want to burden people
But if I didnt accept his offer, I may hurt his feeling
People may think that I didnt care about senior staff
I am to ego
But dont they think I feel so small,
 like I cant do anything
People think that they better than me and wanna take over my job task

When I spend hours to do certain translation,  only to hear the boss asked the senior staff to do so.
And someone just gave synical smile...
Hmm...seems that I am not good enough

The most saddest part was when someone so busy in front of the boss, that the boss asked what am  i doing...
Hmm...Seems that I do nothing