Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Balasan dosa dibayar tunai :(

Bukan untuk menyebarkan aib sendiri. Kisah ini sebagai peringatan dan pengajaran masa depan.

Saya tak bangun sahur pada pagi 07/08/2012. Sedar-sedar sudah pukul 9.45 pagi. Itu bermakna saya juga terlepas solat subuh. Setelah sampai uni, saya sibuk dengan pelbagai urusan seperti berjumpa spv untuk urusan perlanjutan COE, mengisi form secara online, renew insurans sehinggalah membeli dan pos something to my nephew dan meminjam buku di library. Apabila sampai di office, saya sangat terkejut apabila melihat jam di desktop menunjukkan pukul 2.54pm iaitu lagi 5 minit sebelum waktu asar. Inilah akibatnya jika tiada jam tangan ketika keluar dan tidak menunaikan solat pada awal waktu. Astaghfirullahalazim...Peringatan untuk diri sendiri supaya tidak diulangi perkara ini.

Rasanya memang saya dapat balasan tunai atas apa yang saya telah buat haritu.
i) Pertamanya, bila saya buka email, pembaharuan insurans ditolak. Saya perlu menggunakan duit sendiri kerana penaja hanya cover untuk tempoh tertentu. Manalah saya nak cari duit ya :(

ii) Kedua, dan yang paling buat saya rasa lost pastilah when my paper got rejected. I spent long time, almost 2 years with this project as well as writing and making revision for this paper.

Rasanya, this is the first time my paper really got rejected. Kalau dulu sedap sikit bunyinya -out of scope. Sudahlah lama menunggu keputusan. Bila dapat keputusan, paper got rejected pulak. Hilang debar, muncullah sedih dan kecewa. Lagi haru, apabila membaca komen reviewer.

Dear Ms. R,

We have received the referee reports for your manuscript entitled: "........".

Please find the reports included in this e-mail.
As you can see, the referees do not recommend the publication of the manuscript in its present form. As they are very well respected experts in this field, we are inclined to accept their view and reject the contribution.

For further information I am always at your disposal.

Kind regards,

Editor in Chief

Comments for the Author:

Reviewer #1: I am sorry for my delay of the review ..... I can not understand the authors revision although I have given several comments in our last review. However, I can not find any revisions and improvements relating to our comments in their revised manuscript.

Reviewer #2: My comments (pts. 3 and 4) have not been fully addressed and thus I still have concerns about the validity of the ........


Pelik, I didn't see the first reviewer comments in the letter that I have received via email as well as in the editorial link. Pasrah je la. Kena terima juga bila second reviewer pun tak faham my explanation.

Lega sikit bila spv email

        Hi F,

        That is fine. We can send it to somewhere else. 
        Let me think about it, and I will get back to you tomorrow.



iii) I got Yahoo Messenger offline chat from my friend stating that he can't call my hp and send message too. Yup recently a few friends complaint that they have problem to call my hp. In fact there were delays in receiving their messages too. So, later at 8.20pm I called optus customer service to complaint about the service diffulty. They said if I can make a call or send sms, so there must be nothing wrong with my phone or their service. So, something must be wrong with my friends' phone or service provider. Wasn't it weird? My friends used different model of hp as well as service provider such as Three and vodaphone. Since the staff had to ask the technical support so she asked me to hang up and she will call me later. When I tried to make a call to my friend, suddenly my credit balance is only aud0.83 grrrrrrr. So I have to recharge. Then as promised, the customer service operator called me and stated that there is no problem with the coverage in my area. When I asked whether it is something to do with the phone setting because I change my phone to Samsung Mini-Galaxy, she didn't agree with me. Later she suggested to me to ask my friend to call me and take note of any message or voice mail for the error message. So, it will help them to trouble shoot the problem. I didn't want to trouble my friend. So I tried to make a call from my Malaysian hp number

iv) Unfortunately the credit balance is only RM0.09. So, I need to top up my Celcom xpax credit using Maybank2u.  Once done, I was excited to make a call from Celcom number to Optus, only to hear the voice message stating that call barring is activated. What a double blow. Not only I had difficulty with my OPtus, now I also have problem with Celcom. I tried to call my sister's Celcom number and also received the same message too. So, I called Customer Care services. They also couldn't figure out what the problem is. So I have to call again later :(. That long distance call, cost me AUD12.78 for 20minutes. Luckily, the customer care operator is such a lovely lady. Even though at certain point I felt like to strangle her because she didn't understand what I told her and I  have to repeat it. For some reason, she still wanted to speak in English even though sometimes both of us struggling to do so hahahah. Several times either it sound like she's speaking in broken english or me kinda lost word to explain my problem ;)). Sometimes, we both just giggle especially when she had to write down my address which sounds funny and weird hehehe.

See what happened to me yesterday. One after another problems. All these, either as punishment due to my wrong doings/sins,  test of my patience and faith or as reminder/warning to return/keep myself on the right track. No matter how devastated I am, I should accept all these difficulties. Allah does not burden me beyond my ability to bear. I should be grateful with these trials. Things happen for a reason. May Allah forgive all my past deeds and May Allah ease and bless everything for me in the present and future.

Owh lupa nak cerita. Semasa berjumpa my spv that afternoon, she asked about my writing progress. Ye la dah dia suruh tambah banyak kan. So I cakap I confuselah dengan one important term tuh. Yang I faham selama ni lain, bila I baca reference lain pulak. Tapi I cakaplah I dah jumpa reference yg sesuai dan nak pinjam buku tu di library. I think she's a bit furious, but she said politely

"Remember the big picture. Is it a big component in your thesis?"

Itulah, dah berapa kali my spv reminded me, but still I did the same thing all over again. Last time she said that I think too much while making revision for that paper. I should made decision. Saya sudahlah susah untuk mula menulis. Sometimes it took me one week just to write one paragraph.  I kept on adding or deleting the sentences. Anyway her words on 18/07/2012 struck me

"Your thesis is 80% complete (due to my articles). You just have to combine it"

 Sound so easy huh, well totally the opposite. Bila sudah mula dapat rentak menulis, saya baru sedar betapa banyak perkara yang saya tak tahu. Terasa banyak lompong di sana sini. Layakkah kajian dan penulisan saya diterima sebagai thesis PhD. I always ask myself what, how and why questions while writing my paper/thesis. Kinda like writing that paper/thesis for someone who really have no idea of what I have done. So, I am really worried when me myself struggle to answer that questions. My worry became worst when I couldn't find the suitable reference. Berhari2 mencari tak jumpa. Walaupun dah masukkan keywordnya, tetap tak berjumpa. Kalau jumpa pun kurang relevan.  Anyway, Alhamdulillah semalam ketemua jua :)...

Dapat lagi free beg untuk membawa buku2 yang gemuk berat itu. Hehehe patutlah tak jumpa yang sesuai, dulu hasil layaran menuju ke Molecular Physics, latest barulah Biochemistry....

Life must go on. Yes, I am still struggling writing my thesis when my friend who enrolled in uni together with me either  has graduated last month or just received the good news  that he can submit his thesis. The latter is fresh hot from oven news today.  I couldn't deny that I feel sad. I am only ordinary person. However, there is no such thing like dengki with friends success. Actually there is mixed feeling. Sad because I am still sailing in this turbulence toward the end of my phd journey.  At the same time I am happy for them after what they have gone thru all this while. Kinda like boost my spirit and as motivation for me to finish what I have started too. Yup, sometimes I feel like losing hope. But, I know the only choice that I have is to be strong. If it is not for me, I should think about my parents, their hopes....One more thing sometimes it is good to compare ourselves with both fortunate and less fortunate people. The first as motivation and the latter to be grateful of what we have today :).

 Ok enough about all that boring entry. I sent these items

together with koala n kangaroo key rings and card to my nephew wishing him good luck for his UPSR as well as Selamat berayalah. Janganlah gelak tengok gift tu. I cari yg murah dan ringan. Memanglah benda gini kat Malaysia bersepah. Tapi kid being kid, mestilah suka any gift pun hehehe. Nak belikan digital key ring, tak boleh coz ada battery, explosive item kononnya tak boleh by air postage. I told him that he can use the book light to read his notes while lying on his bed or while waiting for his school van hehhee. Alamak! booklite tuh guna battery jugak ke? Harap taklah kan. Semoga semua barang selamat sampai di tangan anak saudaraku dan dimanfaatkan sebaiknya.

update at 3.30pm:
I received a message from Celcom stating that my case has been resolved. I have to use roaming CAMEL partner either TELSTRA or yES OPTUS if I roam in Australia. I don't know apa menatang CAMEL tu selain unta dan brand for bags/shoes hehhehe. Yelah manalah i taukan, when I am in OZ the service provider automatically changed from CELCOM to Vodaphone Au. So, I just thot they are partner in crime in service. Anyway, there was no access when I tried to change the network from Vodaphone to Yes Optus manually. Luckily, I managed to change it to Telstra :). Alhamdulillah.

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