Doa, Ar-Rahman, Airmata, Hug by spv selepas serabut

Pagi tadi aku serabut, then I chat with my friend, she wrote this

langit x selalu cerah...n langit juga x selalu mendung. smua kuasa allah. ingt Allah sedang mengatur yg terbaik untuk kita.tp kita jgn sombong...mesti zuhud n berserah padaNya seikhlas mungkin. mohon allah pelihara kita n berkati ilmu yg DIA bg ni...agar Phd ini membw hidup kita bahagia dunia n akhirat


Amiin.....Kebetulan masa tu aku dengar di youtube Surah Ar-Rahman



Memang tersentuh sangat bila mendengar ayat

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan"


Ya, aku menangis sebab aku stress dengan Phd.
Ya, aku menangis sebab terharu dengan kata-kata dan doa kawanku.
Ya, aku menangis sebab aku selalu meminta-minta dengan Allah dan telah banyak nikmat yang diberikan tapi adakah aku jaga hubungan aku denganNya?
adakah aku taat kepada perintahNya?

Nikmat yang terbaru bila aku buka email pada 4.26pm....

Dear Ms. F...,

I am writing to you to inform you that we have had to contact one new referee because one of the original referees has not responded despite reminders. We regret the delay in processing your paper.
You will be notified as soon as we have received all referee reports.

With kind regards,

A...., Ph.D., D.Sc.


Ya Allah, lembutkanlah hati semua reviewer untuk menerima paperku. Tiba-tiba aku terpandang email from yesterday icon. Pelik jugak kenapa aku tak nampak email tu semalam mahupun pagi tadi....

Dear Professor F....(Wah wah.....Amiin ),

this is to acknowledge receipt of the article

Mo...................................

for publication in the Journal of ........

The paper has been refereed by two of our experts; the judges are positive.

The article is herewith accepted for publication in ......

There are some minor formal points which have to be changed and added, respectively:

- we need the source file of the complete manuscript with keywords;

- we need your signed Copyright Transfer Agreement. Please fax
the attached form directly to .........,

or scan the signed document and send it by E-mail to the Editor-in-Chief.

Please, let us have the material as soon as possible.

Best regards,

Editor-in-Chief

Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah.............setelah mendung dan hujan, langit cerah dan muncullah pelangi kegembiraan....

Tiba-tiba jadi tidak tentu arah. I couldn't believe my eyes.....that the paper is accepted after twice rejection. Yup, I can't denied that actually I am not confidence with that paper. Alhamdulillah dengan kuasa Allah.....

I ran to my spv's office and told her "I am stress and excited". Dia kehairanan....macam gaya dalam hati nak cakap giler ke minah ni...First I said that I am stress with my latest project. When I told her the good news, dia depangkan tangan, maka berpelukkanlah kami hehhee.....Note: my spv is a woman yer :P. She congratulated me and asked me not to stress. Tapi dalam pada tu, sempat gak she asked me to join the thesis competition....Alamak tak boleh elak dah. Haritu dia suruh, aku cakap I'll think about it. Then, she sent email on Tuesday

Hi F.. and H...,

Can you please participate in the School..... Thesis Competition? Thank you!!

It will be fun!!

Cheers,

N

Aku tak jawab pun email tu..............Dengan harapan dia terlupa. Rupanya tadi bila jumpa dia ingat jugak huhuhu. Siap cakap please and rapatkan tangan macam nih...


She reminded me that treat it as a fun thing and not as the thing that is stressfull.

Yelah aku ni semua benda nak stress...tapi tidaklah sampai nangis.Cuma hari tetiba terkeluar gak air mata stress tuh..........

Kenapa aku stress sampai menangis?????

Setiap kali bila bas hampir sampai di uni, mesti ada rasa mengantuk. Kenapalah tiada rasa seronok dan teruja untuk memulakan kerja/belajar? Kenapalah aku cepat bosan bila belajar dan mudah mengalah bila stuck with my project. Aku tahu aku perlu berfikiran positif, bijak mengawal emosi dan cuba sebaik mungkin mengatasi segala gangguan dan unsur negatif. Tapi ada kalanya aku tertanya-tanya adakah itu kerana gangguan sihir....

Minggu ini memang lansung tak jenguk my thesis. Aku rasa sangat serabut dan buntu with my latest project. At first I planned to use drug molecule for my studies, unfortunately again the model was so complicated. So, I opted for another molecule suggested by my spv. Well of course the result corresponds well with literature. But, I don't think it is enough for journal article. So, I planned to study the behavior of that molecule and my spv have that in mind too. However, later I felt that the behaviour may not realistic. So I just ignored it until last monday that I started to read the article about it. Anyway, last Tuesday I studied the second property of that molecule. It was hard to focus on constructing the model and writing the programming code and not to mention troubleshooting error too. The result seemed ok, but there was thing that I doubt too.....When I studied the third property, the result really weird.

So, on Wednesday I tried to figure out what went wrong until I became fed up with it....That was the time that I thought I should try to study the behaviour of that molecule even though it may not realistic. See for yourself, actually I don't what to do. I kept on changing my mind. While constructing the model for that behaviour, suddenly it came to my mind that I should find the article that employed the similar molecule as my study. But their model really different from mine and that made me doubt my model :(... So, I read the article thoroughly and try to understand it since I may compared my model with their model....But their model kinda more complicated in fact it only applicable for infinite structure whereas my work is on finite structure. Meaning that I cannot simply use their model, I have to modify it ..grrrrrrrr. So what should I do?????????
Blog walking..opppps...........So, that made me think that I should focus on one thing first and finish it before starting on new thing....So, I should focus on studying the behaviour first and only then compare my model with other model. But again, to study the behaviour I should construct the model...While constructing the model, I have problem to figure out the variables etc...Definitely, I need lots of articles searching and reading. Kena tau juga the right keyword to search...So, never ending story until I submitted the thesis....